Uvongo93 said:
You forgot to add the word "new". Some new ones would be aprpeciated and Parksy has been nominated to the first to post a new joke that none of us have heard before!
I don't know many that I could post on this forum
but here goes........
It is a little known fact that there are actually two types of boomerang.
There is of course the Aboriginal boomerang from the Antipodes and then there is........
The Irish Boomerang
The well known Aboriginal boomerang is thrown at the hunted target, the boomerang flies through the air and hits the target knocking it out and then because of the aerodynamic section and the actual shape of the boomerang it continues to travel in a fairly wide arc returning to the spot from which it was thrown.
The Irish boomerang is not dissimilar in shape and size to an Aboriginal version of the ancient hunters silent weapon but there are some fundamental differences both in appearance and performance.
The Irish version is of course Emerald Green and it performs best after a good soaking in Guinness, much in common with those who lovingly crafted this ancient tool of Erins Isle.
Whereas the Aboriginal boomerang comes back home to where it was launched from the Irish boomerang once thrown never returns but it spends the rest of it's life making up and singing songs about coming back home.
An old Irish country doctor went way out a remote area to deliver a baby. It was so far out, there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the labouring mother and her 5-year-old child.
The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high so he could see, while he helped the woman deliver the baby.
The child did so, the mother pushed and after a little while, the doctor lifted the newborn baby by the feet and smacked him on the arse bottom to get him to take his first breath. The doctor then asked the 5-year-old what he thought of the baby.
"Hit him again," the 5-year-old said. "He shouldn't have crawled up there in the first place!"
Paddy and Seamus were fishing from the river bank and Paddy bet Seamus ten pints of the black stuff that he would catch the biggest fish before Seamus caught anything.
Seamus accepted the wager and within two minutes Paddy's line went taught, his rod bent and Paddy began hauling in the biggest fish either of them had ever seen, it was a whopper!
Paddy struggled to land this great big fish and just as he was getting it onto the bank the fish pulled him into the river.
Seamus hollered "Bejaysus Paddy, if you're gonna dive in after them then the bets off!"
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