dog joke

[harrybrook]

An Alsation dog went into Job centre plus, put his paws up on the desk and said Gizajob. The assistant behind the desk said Wow! a talking dog, and rushed off to make a phone call. When she returned to the desk she told the dog to go at 2.30 that afternoon to a travelling cicus that was in town for an interview. OK said the dog, but what do they want with a plumber

.

 

[Mel]

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vets. The man says to the vet, "my dog is cross eyed. The vet picks up the dog and looks closely into the dogs eyes. "Oh dear" says the vet," I'm goig to have to put him down". "Put him down!" said the man, "for crossed eyes?!" "No", said the vet, "because he is heavy".

mel

 

[Surfer]

DOG FOR SALE:

A guy is driving around the backwoods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of
a broken down shanty-style house:

"Talking Dog For Sale". He rings the bell and the owner appears and
tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice-looking Labrador retriever
sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks. "Yep," the Lab replies.

After he recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says, "So,
what's your story?"

The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I
was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so ... I told the CIA. "In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in
rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be
eavesdropping.

"I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running ...

"But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting
any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport
to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and
listening in.

"I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.

"I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the
dog.

"Ten dollars," the owner says.

"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so
cheap?"

"Because he's a liar. He's never been out of the yard."