Encounter at the Pool

[Gumbo]

Took my grand daughter swimming at the weekend. In the small childrens pool a couple of boys splashing about and lashing the surface with one of those long foam floats. Please stop says i you are scaring the little girl. Well I got a mouthful of abuse real abuse. Just then a guy sat in the pool about 30 years old said to me what the **** has it to do with you. I just said it's a childrens pool big pool is for splashing about etc.Get out he said unless you want real trouble.

Just then my two sons walked in both been Royal Marines and tough. I explained what was going on my son just said to the guy I suggest you leave, which he did. My point is the ten year old would have accepted it's the norm to abuse people and get away with it. I hope this helped change his mind a little. What do we do with Feral Kids ?? ideas on a postcard to Gordon Brown 10 Downing Street London Or to a Local Fat Cat MP near you.

 

[ShadySadie]

Answer- Put down at Birth!

And thank god we have legal abortions! It's a pity more don't opt for them.

Just off to get my running shoes and likely to become hide and seek champion ;-)

 

[Gumbo]

I would agree the only problem is the waster of the parents just keep on having more. You have given me one idea though I will just jot it down on a postcard right now.

Steralise any parent who can't control their children. It may take 20 or 30 years to resolve but it just might work. We could also stop the benfit of the these peole. Child poverty should be the norm for a lot of families until they learn acceptable attitudes to Authority ie Teachers, Police Officers, Bus Drivers , and of course the General Tax Paying Public.

LB wake up.

 

[Auvergne]

Hi Frank,

Sounds like you bumped into my neighbours at the pool - the fat slob of a father is nothing but a bully. Unfortunately he has the brains of an amoeba and is not socially adept in the art of conversation or compromise, its all swearing and threats of violence. No wonder the kids are like they are with him as a role model.

Working in social care I am well aware that there are many dynamics that have led us to become the society we are today. Unfortunately we live in a throw away society where if we get fed up with something or its not perfect we don't take time out to fix it, we just get a new one. Unfortunately this is true of relationships too and as a consequence we see the breakdown of the family unit. There is little loyalty nowadays, and less people are valuing each other as human beings, both in the home and in the workplace, its all too easy to get a replacement. This leads to people questioning their worth and feeling worthy by being powerful and controlling. There is less conversation and interaction - we are being moulded into a far more insular society, how many of us know our neighbours in the street? The irony is its the progress of technological communication that is doing this to us, enabling our children to spend hours alone in their rooms and parents to work from home instead of interacting with others in the office for example.

Drugs and alcohol have played a huge part - I have counseled a young person who has seen people break into his home and beat his Dad with a pick axe handle because he was a drug dealer. Also worked with a young girl whose mother was an alcoholic. The only thing this girl could control was her body - her hair was matted to her head and infested with headlice. She would not wash or change her clothes - her body had become her only weapon against her mother, the only way she could express that she was hurting. I have seen children take food from a bin due to hunger, children with medical problems and rotten teeth due to malnourishment and lack of parental responsibility. Yes these may be extreme cases but they are happening today. The answer is not to throw more money at it, that is only perpetuating the situation because the money is there for these children, the parents are not spending it appropriately. It is not the children that are at fault in a lot of cases. There are hundreds of children who wish their parents would take more interest in them, would love to be given boundaries and kept in check because it would suggest that their parents actually cared about them. Instead the answer is to become a young parent themselves citing the reason as "I would have something to love and it would love me back".

The benefits system is a huge player in bringing society to the level it is today. When a parent can push for their child to be statemented with a behavioural problem it means more cash - where's the incentive to try and sort the problem out? I understand there is also a black market for Ritalin! If more children = more cash and a bigger house, job done.

In this area the really really badly behaved children get free days out go-karting, also a week's training with one of the rescue services - my son would love to do all this but because he is a good lad and attends school every day, is polite and respectful he doesn't stand a chance! There has become a level of kudos if a child has been one one of these projects so they go all out to get a place and who can blame them?

I feel sorry for the teachers at the schools because their powers are limited and they literally have to jump through hoops to keep a child at school and prove they have done everything in their power and more before the child can be asked to leave through bad behaviour. They also do not have the backing of the parents.

Then we turn and look at the amount of support available to our older generations - don't get me started. They have far and away the least amount of money targetted for them, way way less than that secured for children and families. You try and get funding for a coach to take them to the seaside for the day and you can forget it.

Its a case of what comes first the chicken or the egg? How can the parents be expected to parent appropriately when they have not had the role models themselves. Its a real dilema to which there are so many dynamics. I don't know the answer but I know we're not going in the right direction.

 

[LadyMo]

Hi Frank,

Sounds like you bumped into my neighbours at the pool - the fat slob of a father is nothing but a bully. Unfortunately he has the brains of an amoeba and is not socially adept in the art of conversation or compromise, its all swearing and threats of violence. No wonder the kids are like they are with him as a role model.

Working in social care I am well aware that there are many dynamics that have led us to become the society we are today. Unfortunately we live in a throw away society where if we get fed up with something or its not perfect we don't take time out to fix it, we just get a new one. Unfortunately this is true of relationships too and as a consequence we see the breakdown of the family unit. There is little loyalty nowadays, and less people are valuing each other as human beings, both in the home and in the workplace, its all too easy to get a replacement. This leads to people questioning their worth and feeling worthy by being powerful and controlling. There is less conversation and interaction - we are being moulded into a far more insular society, how many of us know our neighbours in the street? The irony is its the progress of technological communication that is doing this to us, enabling our children to spend hours alone in their rooms and parents to work from home instead of interacting with others in the office for example.

Drugs and alcohol have played a huge part - I have counseled a young person who has seen people break into his home and beat his Dad with a pick axe handle because he was a drug dealer. Also worked with a young girl whose mother was an alcoholic. The only thing this girl could control was her body - her hair was matted to her head and infested with headlice. She would not wash or change her clothes - her body had become her only weapon against her mother, the only way she could express that she was hurting. I have seen children take food from a bin due to hunger, children with medical problems and rotten teeth due to malnourishment and lack of parental responsibility. Yes these may be extreme cases but they are happening today. The answer is not to throw more money at it, that is only perpetuating the situation because the money is there for these children, the parents are not spending it appropriately. It is not the children that are at fault in a lot of cases. There are hundreds of children who wish their parents would take more interest in them, would love to be given boundaries and kept in check because it would suggest that their parents actually cared about them. Instead the answer is to become a young parent themselves citing the reason as "I would have something to love and it would love me back".

The benefits system is a huge player in bringing society to the level it is today. When a parent can push for their child to be statemented with a behavioural problem it means more cash - where's the incentive to try and sort the problem out? I understand there is also a black market for Ritalin! If more children = more cash and a bigger house, job done.

In this area the really really badly behaved children get free days out go-karting, also a week's training with one of the rescue services - my son would love to do all this but because he is a good lad and attends school every day, is polite and respectful he doesn't stand a chance! There has become a level of kudos if a child has been one one of these projects so they go all out to get a place and who can blame them?

I feel sorry for the teachers at the schools because their powers are limited and they literally have to jump through hoops to keep a child at school and prove they have done everything in their power and more before the child can be asked to leave through bad behaviour. They also do not have the backing of the parents.

Then we turn and look at the amount of support available to our older generations - don't get me started. They have far and away the least amount of money targetted for them, way way less than that secured for children and families. You try and get funding for a coach to take them to the seaside for the day and you can forget it.

Its a case of what comes first the chicken or the egg? How can the parents be expected to parent appropriately when they have not had the role models themselves. Its a real dilema to which there are so many dynamics. I don't know the answer but I know we're not going in the right direction.

Well said Valerie.

 

[MonkeyHanger]

All i can say on this subject is well done to the do gooders brigade cos if parents and teachers cant install disapline the kids know they can get away with anything.

well done to labour for the human rights act too.

now im not old just! but not quite and i think national service should be brought back THAT would install all the disapine they needed aswel as learning a trade. But only the ones who sign up volentry should goto war

M.H

 

[Andrew._374353608]

Monkey Hanger I agree about National Service, but when they'd finished their stint they'd be tougher, and might have the look at me I'm big.

Something should be done, and if getting them off the street for a couple of years,is the answer then so be it, oh and no use girls gettin shirty either the child would have grandparents. Awaiting the backlash.

All the best Andrew.

 

[Gumbo]

Sounds a good idea but to late.

The Services can't handle the young people joining up as voulnteers. never mind trying to handle ones who have been forced into the service.

 

[Rosemary_374365544]

Hi Frank,

Sounds like you bumped into my neighbours at the pool - the fat slob of a father is nothing but a bully. Unfortunately he has the brains of an amoeba and is not socially adept in the art of conversation or compromise, its all swearing and threats of violence. No wonder the kids are like they are with him as a role model.

Working in social care I am well aware that there are many dynamics that have led us to become the society we are today. Unfortunately we live in a throw away society where if we get fed up with something or its not perfect we don't take time out to fix it, we just get a new one. Unfortunately this is true of relationships too and as a consequence we see the breakdown of the family unit. There is little loyalty nowadays, and less people are valuing each other as human beings, both in the home and in the workplace, its all too easy to get a replacement. This leads to people questioning their worth and feeling worthy by being powerful and controlling. There is less conversation and interaction - we are being moulded into a far more insular society, how many of us know our neighbours in the street? The irony is its the progress of technological communication that is doing this to us, enabling our children to spend hours alone in their rooms and parents to work from home instead of interacting with others in the office for example.

Drugs and alcohol have played a huge part - I have counseled a young person who has seen people break into his home and beat his Dad with a pick axe handle because he was a drug dealer. Also worked with a young girl whose mother was an alcoholic. The only thing this girl could control was her body - her hair was matted to her head and infested with headlice. She would not wash or change her clothes - her body had become her only weapon against her mother, the only way she could express that she was hurting. I have seen children take food from a bin due to hunger, children with medical problems and rotten teeth due to malnourishment and lack of parental responsibility. Yes these may be extreme cases but they are happening today. The answer is not to throw more money at it, that is only perpetuating the situation because the money is there for these children, the parents are not spending it appropriately. It is not the children that are at fault in a lot of cases. There are hundreds of children who wish their parents would take more interest in them, would love to be given boundaries and kept in check because it would suggest that their parents actually cared about them. Instead the answer is to become a young parent themselves citing the reason as "I would have something to love and it would love me back".

The benefits system is a huge player in bringing society to the level it is today. When a parent can push for their child to be statemented with a behavioural problem it means more cash - where's the incentive to try and sort the problem out? I understand there is also a black market for Ritalin! If more children = more cash and a bigger house, job done.

In this area the really really badly behaved children get free days out go-karting, also a week's training with one of the rescue services - my son would love to do all this but because he is a good lad and attends school every day, is polite and respectful he doesn't stand a chance! There has become a level of kudos if a child has been one one of these projects so they go all out to get a place and who can blame them?

I feel sorry for the teachers at the schools because their powers are limited and they literally have to jump through hoops to keep a child at school and prove they have done everything in their power and more before the child can be asked to leave through bad behaviour. They also do not have the backing of the parents.

Then we turn and look at the amount of support available to our older generations - don't get me started. They have far and away the least amount of money targetted for them, way way less than that secured for children and families. You try and get funding for a coach to take them to the seaside for the day and you can forget it.

Its a case of what comes first the chicken or the egg? How can the parents be expected to parent appropriately when they have not had the role models themselves. Its a real dilema to which there are so many dynamics. I don't know the answer but I know we're not going in the right direction.

A very well articulated and reasoned post. I remember the good old days when you could leave possessions or doors unlocked, when older people were looked after. Saying that there are some very nice grown ups and children in England, the, hopefully still in minority, unfeeling and feral ones spoil it for all. What are we going to do? I think stronger punishment is probably the only answer.