Scouse Joke

Toggle sidebar Toggle sidebar
G

GrahamW

Jun 7, 2005
727
0
0
A scouser walked into the local job centre, marched straight up to the

counter and said "Hi, I'm looking for a job".

The man behind the counter replied "Your timing is amazing. We've just

got one in from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for

his nymphomaniac twin daughters. You'll have to drive around a big

black Mercedes and wear the uniform provided. The hours are a bit long

but the meals are provided. You also have to escort the young ladies on

their overseas holidays. The Salary package is £200,000 a year".

The Scouser said "You're joking !"

The man behind the counter said "Well you started it!"

Appologies in advance to anyone from Liverpool
 
L

LMH

Mar 14, 2005
5,684
0
0
They'll have the alloys off your car too if you're not careful.

Lisa (smiley thingy)
 
T

Tina3

Apr 11, 2005
1,387
0
0
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two Scousers are riding along the M62 from Manchester to Liverpool on a motorbike. They break down and start hitching a lift. A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the scousers ask him for a lift.

He tells them that he has no room in the wagon as he is carrying 20,000 bowling balls but will take a look at the bike for them. He tries everything he knows but is unable to repair it.

Time is getting on now and he's late for his delivery so he tells the scousers he has to leave.

The scousers put it to the driver that if they can manage to fit in the back with the 20,000 bowling balls, will he take them, so he agrees.

They manage to squeeze themselves and their motorbike into the back of the wagon so the driver shuts the doors and gets off on his way.

By this time he is really late and so puts his foot down. Sure enough PC Plod of Greater Manchester Police pulls him up for speeding.

The good officer asks the driver what he is carrying to which he replies with sarcasm "Scouse eggs".

The policeman obviously doesn't believe this so wants to take a look. He opens the back door and quickly shuts it and locks it.

He rushes back to his panda and gets onto his radio and calls for immediate backup from as many officers as possible. The dispatcher asks what emergency he has that he requires so many officers.

"I've got a wagon with 20,000 Scouse eggs in it - 2 have already hatched and the f*****s have managed to nick a motorbike already!"
 
L

LMH

Mar 14, 2005
5,684
0
0
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two Scousers are riding along the M62 from Manchester to Liverpool on a motorbike. They break down and start hitching a lift. A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the scousers ask him for a lift.

He tells them that he has no room in the wagon as he is carrying 20,000 bowling balls but will take a look at the bike for them. He tries everything he knows but is unable to repair it.

Time is getting on now and he's late for his delivery so he tells the scousers he has to leave.

The scousers put it to the driver that if they can manage to fit in the back with the 20,000 bowling balls, will he take them, so he agrees.

They manage to squeeze themselves and their motorbike into the back of the wagon so the driver shuts the doors and gets off on his way.

By this time he is really late and so puts his foot down. Sure enough PC Plod of Greater Manchester Police pulls him up for speeding.

The good officer asks the driver what he is carrying to which he replies with sarcasm "Scouse eggs".

The policeman obviously doesn't believe this so wants to take a look. He opens the back door and quickly shuts it and locks it.

He rushes back to his panda and gets onto his radio and calls for immediate backup from as many officers as possible. The dispatcher asks what emergency he has that he requires so many officers.

"I've got a wagon with 20,000 Scouse eggs in it - 2 have already hatched and the f*****s have managed to nick a motorbike already!"
Click to expand...
Excellent!
 
L

Lol1

Mar 14, 2005
3,157
0
0
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two Scousers are riding along the M62 from Manchester to Liverpool on a motorbike. They break down and start hitching a lift. A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the scousers ask him for a lift.

He tells them that he has no room in the wagon as he is carrying 20,000 bowling balls but will take a look at the bike for them. He tries everything he knows but is unable to repair it.

Time is getting on now and he's late for his delivery so he tells the scousers he has to leave.

The scousers put it to the driver that if they can manage to fit in the back with the 20,000 bowling balls, will he take them, so he agrees.

They manage to squeeze themselves and their motorbike into the back of the wagon so the driver shuts the doors and gets off on his way.

By this time he is really late and so puts his foot down. Sure enough PC Plod of Greater Manchester Police pulls him up for speeding.

The good officer asks the driver what he is carrying to which he replies with sarcasm "Scouse eggs".

The policeman obviously doesn't believe this so wants to take a look. He opens the back door and quickly shuts it and locks it.

He rushes back to his panda and gets onto his radio and calls for immediate backup from as many officers as possible. The dispatcher asks what emergency he has that he requires so many officers.

"I've got a wagon with 20,000 Scouse eggs in it - 2 have already hatched and the f*****s have managed to nick a motorbike already!"
Click to expand...
Strange, that's exactly what my brother said when I forwarded it on to him. Nice one Tina. Is this scouse joke thing something new or is it another phenomenon I've missed?
 
M

mcghee

Nov 1, 2005
1,001
0
0
A friend of mine travelling in Merseyside stopped in a lay-by to investigate why the alternator warning light was flickering on and off. After a few minutes under the bonnet he was aroused by the rear of the car being raised. On inspection he was met by a bloke who claimed "if you're having the battery I'm having the wheels". Allegedly a true story.
 
T

Tina3

Apr 11, 2005
1,387
0
0
A friend of mine travelling in Merseyside stopped in a lay-by to investigate why the alternator warning light was flickering on and off. After a few minutes under the bonnet he was aroused by the rear of the car being raised. On inspection he was met by a bloke who claimed "if you're having the battery I'm having the wheels". Allegedly a true story.
Click to expand...
Lol !!
 
T

Tina3

Apr 11, 2005
1,387
0
0
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two Scousers are riding along the M62 from Manchester to Liverpool on a motorbike. They break down and start hitching a lift. A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the scousers ask him for a lift.

He tells them that he has no room in the wagon as he is carrying 20,000 bowling balls but will take a look at the bike for them. He tries everything he knows but is unable to repair it.

Time is getting on now and he's late for his delivery so he tells the scousers he has to leave.

The scousers put it to the driver that if they can manage to fit in the back with the 20,000 bowling balls, will he take them, so he agrees.

They manage to squeeze themselves and their motorbike into the back of the wagon so the driver shuts the doors and gets off on his way.

By this time he is really late and so puts his foot down. Sure enough PC Plod of Greater Manchester Police pulls him up for speeding.

The good officer asks the driver what he is carrying to which he replies with sarcasm "Scouse eggs".

The policeman obviously doesn't believe this so wants to take a look. He opens the back door and quickly shuts it and locks it.

He rushes back to his panda and gets onto his radio and calls for immediate backup from as many officers as possible. The dispatcher asks what emergency he has that he requires so many officers.

"I've got a wagon with 20,000 Scouse eggs in it - 2 have already hatched and the f*****s have managed to nick a motorbike already!"
Click to expand...
I thinks its a case of "you go first" ha ha !!

I feel a bit more justified as mY mum(god love her -someone has to) is pure-bred scouse!!! (Kirkby-yak!)

ME, BORN AND BRED LANCASHIRE !!!!!! ROY BACK ME UP PR9 MATE!!!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

TRENDING THREADS

Latest posts

COMPANY
RESOURCES
FOLLOW
Top Bottom