Sell up or caravan alone?

[LDRAWMER]

I would really value your opinions on this. I brought a lovely caravan and tow car, 2 years ago, when I had some inheritance money - it was meant for my husband and I to enjoy travelling and the freedom now our children are adults. I absolutely love caravanning, however, my husband of 21 years has decided he wants a new life, and we are in the process of getting divorced. Bit of a shock to the system, and amongst all the other things I am having to think about, I don't know what to do with the caravan. I own it and the tow car outright, and would love to continue, but have concerns about towing it and setting up on my own (I am 45, but have rheumatoid arthritis, so movement is painful and limited). Its a large twin axle (26ft long). I do the water collection, and waste, easily enough, and walk my two lovely dogs, and help set up awning etc, but don't think I can do it on my own.

I am thinking of a) giving up completely and selling the outfit (as has year and half warranty on it, so probably a good time to sell), or b) going on a towing course to see if I could tow it myself or c) exchanging it for a smaller two-berth van which would be easier to manouvre, store, and tow.

I would really welcome any advice, particularly from anyone who has been in this position.

Thanks

Lois

 

[mcghee]

i dont know too much about it lois but there are a few caravanning clubs for singles. if you enjoy caravanning it would be a shame to give it up.

going on a towing course isnt a bad idea, as it sounds like all you actually need is a confidence boost.

setting up on site i dont think would present a problem. i for one would never see a woman on her own struggling with her outfit and i dont know many others who would.

 

[Auvergne]

Hi Lois,

My advice would be to get a smaller van and continue your hobby - enjoy the freedom and make the most of the the social life. You won't need an awning if its only you and the dogs. Once you get over the shock you'll be fine, look forward to a new season in your life. When my husband walked out on me I thought it was the end of me but how wrong, I can now reflect on the blessing it has been and am happier now than I could have ever been.

You go girl, you can do it!!

 

[mikecandsarahb]

i totally agree with Valerie, i think a twin would be to big bulky for you to drive and set up alone and a smaller 2 berth would be perfect for you, get a mover with it will help you more, good luck, mike

 

[Clockwork_374390647]

Lois

May I be as bold to say that from your post I would say that giving up something you enjoy at this stage of your life could be a bad choice.

My own wife only started towing our caravn solo two years ago. She likes towing our twin axle but not two smaller caravan we've had.

She's quite a bit older than you as well.

We have a disabled German friend who now caravans solo since his wife passed away. His caravan has a motor mover and a trail a mate haydraulic jockey wheel ( www.trail-a-mate.com/trail.asp ) to enable easy hitching to the towball. With very limited mobility his steadies are wound by a heavy duty battery drill attached centrally to an alluminium tube that rests on the ground.

Self levelling caravan steadies are an option but add more weigh to the caravan and cost of course.

Flat hose reel covers water problems where he can't get a fully serviced pitch.

He would be the first to tell you that he rarely uses his caravanning aids as caravanners or site managers fall over thenmselves to help him.

Jorg's first idea was to down size after he decided to continue caravanning, putting up an awning is not an option for him, nor is scrambling around.

His large caravan leaves him with a free bed at all times his living space and spacious toilet and shower area.

Lois your life is changing, giving up a interest you enjoy may be the wrong choice before you give it a trial period to see how it could work for you.

You were brave enough to bare your situation in public, so you obviously have more than enough determination to go solo.

 

[LDRAWMER]

Thank you all so very much. Its been a terrible few months and your kind comments have been much appreciated, I am really touched.

I think I will go and look at 2 berths and see if I can exchange. The idea of planning some weekends and holidays is already giving me a boost, and something to look forward to.

I really value your opinions, and it has really helped to hear your positive experiences and support - reminds me of exactly why I love caravanning - you get to meet such nice people.

Thank you so much - I am so touched.

Lois x

 

[Del_374232870]

hi

I agree with the others why should you give up something you enjoy, continue withe pass time you enjoy. I would keep the existing van and get a mover fitted, we have a t/a the wife has arthritis so cant help withe van, mover fitted means easy to move. As for towing take a towing course with one of the clubs. I am sure you will have many enjoyable time in the van.

 

[JTQ]

The cost to change is going to be steep most likely in loss of value but could be cash.

However the first thing both for gaining ability and confidence is to take a towing course with either club.

Do that first then your able to make a better informed decision on if you can cope with your twin axle.

As others have said whatever you decide on van wise you need a "mover", vans simply are not something for a single person to contemplate manually trying to move, or couples really.

Hope life pans out well. John

 

[emmerson2]

You've been given lots of good, positive advice on here!

Only one thing I can add, is that if you can afford it, keep the big tow car, even if you go for a smaller van.

(I assume it's fairly big, as you've a twin axle van)Go on a towing course, and get out there and enjoy!

Way to go Lois!!!

 

[mandy_5114266]

Hi Lois

My sister has a two berth caravan, a full size awning and three lively Staffordshire Bull Terriers. She tows it with her estate car she started off with a trailer tent then went on to a caravan. She comes on holiday with us sometimes but she can do it all on her own. Her awning is very easy to put up three poles from the caravan to edge of awning ( easier than our porch awning!)I know that if you arrived on a site that we were staying on and wanted help we would help you thats part of caravaning I like meeting the people that pitch near us normally everyone is very friendly. Don't give up something you enjoy lots of people caravan on their own and thats a way of making new friends to. Good luck Mandy

 

[ValA.]

As someone who occasionally tows and sets upon her own, I can assure you that you won't be without help when setting up - in fact you'll probably be mown down with offers of help.

I'd reiterate the advice about a smaller van, get a motor mover to effortlessly manoeuvre into your pitch, and a porch awning which is easy to erect. Do a towing course, and if you have difficult hitching and unhitching then just ask your neighbours to help - no one minds helping someone else.

I'd join a singles caravanning club, and just get on with it and build up your confidence, gradually getting to know lots of other single caravanners.

Then perhaps think about crossing the channel and going somewhere warmer - where your rheumatoid arthritis is likely to be much less of a problem. If you think this is a good idea then the Caravan Club run holidays for first-timers abroad - and offer help and support - and you're bound to meet lots of nice people who'll help out. Next you could spread your wings, and go a bit further - perhaps on one of their rallies, and then even have a complete holiday 'doing it yourself' in the sunshine.

 

[Thorpedo]

Lois

If you are a member of the Caravan or Caravan and camping club have you considered attending a club Rally? You may find one not far from where you live making the first towing experiences simple practice.

If you spoke to the Rally coordinator in advance I suspect you'd find an army of volunteers to help with the set up when you arrive.

These are informal but social events where you will get endless help and you will be accepted into a social gathering of like minded caravners.

I'm sure you'll soon be sitting around a Bar-b with a glass of wine and groups of people who want nothing more than some friendly banter.

Also how about putting the van on a seasonal pitch at a pleasant site to start with. You may be able to find someone to help with the first tow at the start of the season and allows you to aclimatise to caravaning alone without the worry of towing to and from each break.

At the end of the 1st season you'll know if you want to be a bit more adventurous in future.

 

[jo_374385568]

lois have you thought of getting water and waste equipment for fully serviced pitches I travel on my own with the kids and have done since youngest was 3 she's now 13 I can't really leave my son as he is autistic and I have joint problems so find carrying water awkward once its set up you've only got the toilet to empty which isn't too bad i've found it great as even when hubby does follow us down for a week {if were lucky, hes self-employed} he doesn't need to fetch water and you have cold running water on tap. best wishes whatever you decide to do

 

[UKHunk]

HIYAS

I have been on my own for ten years now and caravan alone,sometimes i take my nephew,other times i go with friends that are divorced/single,i take the time to see people that i know around the country,dont give up yet give it a go and while i agree you have a large van,why not think of a smaller one,as for a mover remember this will add weight,there are clubs that you can join,And im glad i stuck at it as its my escape from the real world it needs to be as i just got a brand new van so go for it girl,Im in East anglia,and weekends i tend to keep it local anyway,Good luck to you.

 

[xtrailman]

Lois

May i offer my own advise, for what its worth.

I would say dont rush into anything at this stage.

Get a friend to tow your van to a site you like.

Holiday and first see if you can cope with the day to day jobs required.

Jobs that you previously did not have to do. Touring is so much easier with two.

I once bought a smaller van and found it still no easier to pull about!. We now have the 16' again.

Finally if you find you don't enjoy touring as you previously did, maybe as mentioned above, have your van static, coupled to all the services.

 

[Labradorlass]

Lois,

I more often than not caravan alone as my hubby is self employed and struggles to get time off.

At first I was very conscious of what other people might be thinking, but after a couple of trips it no longer bothered me.

I have found the wardens on sites to be most helpful when they realise I am on my own, although in fairness I haven't yet asked for their assistance.

Maybe start with a few days away on a fairly local site to see how you feel. It would be a shame to give up something you quite obviously enjoy at a time when you need to feel good about yourself.

Although my parents do sometimes bring their caravan too, and therefore I am not always alone, I often wish that there were other ladies on site that were also touring solo.

When other folks on site offer me help they aren't being patronising, just showing that as a group us 'vanners are mostly kind and helpful people.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do..and keep smiling.

H.

 

[Surfer]

Go on the towing course but don't sell your caravan yet or trade it in. Towing a twin is easier than a single and reversing it is easier than a single axle.

 

[bill_374352895]

Lois,

I would only reiterate what Ian has said."Don't change your van yet" You have a towcar that will tow your twin axle. They are more stable towing and reversing is less volatile. Do the towing course, you will gain immensly. As others have said, fellow caravanners wont let you struggle. Go for it girl.

Bill

 

[Guest]

I fully understand the enthusiasm displayed by the members on this Forum and I agree that if you enjoy the hobby, then why should it be denied to you.

However, there are many things you will need to consider before things work out for you. The current upheaval in your life will need to be worked through, and that is going to take time, and with no disrespect, possibly caravanning could be near the bottom of your priority list, at least for a while. You have not mentioned either family, or the fact that of course there will be a financial/living situation to be resolved, and that of course is entirely correct. This is your personal life.

Once those factors are resolved then, and only then I would suggest considering your situation. If it is feasible I would suggest trade the tow vehicle and caravan for a smaller motorhome. This would be more easy to set up on site and give you the freedom to do as you wish. Yes, one vehicle has certain disadvantages, but it also allows you freedom and no need to rely on 3rd parties, however willing, for support. You would also reduce your costs as you would only be insuring, and maintaining 1 vehicle instead of 2.

For an example I would quote the case of Mary Tisdall, who for many years toured with her husband in a Bambi motorhome. Yes, the tiny one. They both wrote articles describing their adventures. On his death, she continued travelling, and wrote many fine articles herself, printed in the Press. Sadly she is now too old to continue, but not forgotten.

My point is that it is the outdoor hobby of camping, in whatever form that interests you, and so use the version that best suits your requirements. If you have close friends with similar interests, then possibly there could be options for you, but at this stage, there are more important things to worry about. Caravanning, or whatever will keep for a sunnier day.

B....y H..l, I sound like an agony aunt. Sorry.

 

[Surfer]

I think Lois is from the Buckinghamshire area so perhaps someone in the area could help her on her first solo trip. If your current vehicle is your main vehicle to commute, then a motor home is probably out of the question as not many people can afford to run two cars.

 

[Clockwork_374390647]

If you give up something you like doing some find it very hard with finaces to get back into an interest after giving it up.

I have no first hand experience, but have friends and family who have.

If Lois can hold on to what she has worked for and enjoyed she could make a change at a later date if she chooses. Giving up and interst and then regretting it or possibly struggling to get back in to it may not help.

A couple of friends have found that being able to get away from the same four walls caravanning and speaking and mixing with people who don't know your personal history is a great tonic.

My wifes friend fought to hold on to her boat, she moved it five miles to another marina and found an instant supply of new friendly faces evey weekend rather than the lonely flat she'd moved to.

I think the best advice for Lois, is not to be to hasty with her choices.

Is there a Lady Caravanners group or forum, caravan owners club group may be. Could there be some solo lady caravanners here on the forum?

 

[Chrissylizzie]

Hi Lois

I am sorry to hear of your situation and I agree that maybe don;t do anything too hastily. Although I am not on my own I have thought that if in that situation then I would consider a small motorhome. I am used to driving but not towing so I would hire a motorhome first and compare it to what you know about caravanning. Then make your decision. If you sell your caravan too quickly you might regret it.

We will be thinking about you so do keep us informed and very best wishes.

Chris

 

[Linda_374398511]

Hi Lois

I was in your situation many years ago and I made the mistake of selling the caravan complete with eqipment as at the time I felt I would never tow and use the caravan on my own. I missed the caravan so much that after 18 months I decided to buy another one and start again. I belong to a Group for people who caravan on their own due to divorce, bereavement etc.and we have about 350 members both male and female.

It is called The Loners' Group and if you or anyone else would like details, I would be happy to provide. I am sure you will be able to cope with setting up the van on Site, I just take my time and as other people have suggested, take a break and then get back to it. Towing on your own is very different to having someone sat by the side of you, bearing in mind that you have to navigate as well as watch traffic etc. but you will soon get used to it. My caravan is a 23ft.single axle with a fixed bed and I have a motor mover to cope with siting and storage. My first outing with the Group this year will be next month for a week in the Cotswolds. If you have any questions Lois, I will be only too pleased to answer them for you.

 

[LDRAWMER]

Hi Lois

I was in your situation many years ago and I made the mistake of selling the caravan complete with eqipment as at the time I felt I would never tow and use the caravan on my own. I missed the caravan so much that after 18 months I decided to buy another one and start again. I belong to a Group for people who caravan on their own due to divorce, bereavement etc.and we have about 350 members both male and female.

It is called The Loners' Group and if you or anyone else would like details, I would be happy to provide. I am sure you will be able to cope with setting up the van on Site, I just take my time and as other people have suggested, take a break and then get back to it. Towing on your own is very different to having someone sat by the side of you, bearing in mind that you have to navigate as well as watch traffic etc. but you will soon get used to it. My caravan is a 23ft.single axle with a fixed bed and I have a motor mover to cope with siting and storage. My first outing with the Group this year will be next month for a week in the Cotswolds. If you have any questions Lois, I will be only too pleased to answer them for you.

Hi Lynda,

I really like the sound of the Loner's group and would love more details. I think that kind of support would give me the confidence I am in need of at the moment. My home email is

All the comments on here have been so helpful, its really made me determined to keep on with caravanning. I thought I probably would deeply regret selling it, as have only had it for two years, as well as probably making a financial loss. And the fact that I had paid for the caravan and towcar outright out of some inheritance from my lovely mum, made the idea of giving it all up even worse. Ironically I got into caravanning as a way of travelling, and spending quality time with my husband after years of bringing up children.

If yours is 23 foot long and you manage, then mine is only another three feet longer, and lots of people have told me that twin axles are actually easier to tow as they are very stable, so once I am on a straight road should be OK! (Maybe I won't be booking trips to the Italian coast or Swiss alps for a while - have a fear of heights anyway, let alone hairpin bends and caravan!). When I book the towing course I can get to grips with the dreaded reversing, although having the motormover fitted should help me out a great deal.

I have even treated myself to booking a fully serviced pitch at Grafham water in July, for two weeks, so won't even have to fetch water and empty waste - luxury, and at a fantastic price, something like

 

[LDRAWMER]

Hi Lois

I was in your situation many years ago and I made the mistake of selling the caravan complete with eqipment as at the time I felt I would never tow and use the caravan on my own. I missed the caravan so much that after 18 months I decided to buy another one and start again. I belong to a Group for people who caravan on their own due to divorce, bereavement etc.and we have about 350 members both male and female.

It is called The Loners' Group and if you or anyone else would like details, I would be happy to provide. I am sure you will be able to cope with setting up the van on Site, I just take my time and as other people have suggested, take a break and then get back to it. Towing on your own is very different to having someone sat by the side of you, bearing in mind that you have to navigate as well as watch traffic etc. but you will soon get used to it. My caravan is a 23ft.single axle with a fixed bed and I have a motor mover to cope with siting and storage. My first outing with the Group this year will be next month for a week in the Cotswolds. If you have any questions Lois, I will be only too pleased to answer them for you.

Sorry Linda, just realised its with an 'i' not a 'y'!

Lois