Smokaloo Co. Ltd.

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colin(bridgend)

Mar 14, 2005
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For those of you who are interested there has been a management buyout of Smokaloo prior to the receivers being appointed. Sales were and still are excellent, however the company was run by a team only interested in their own glory and not the well being of the company and its employees.

A new board of directors will shortly be appointed and nominees are requested for this interesting but demading role in a progressive industry. Any interested party please leave name for condsideration of appointment.
 
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Guest

I'd like to apply for the cleaner, come odd job maintenance man and general gofer. A cheeky chappy roll, the guy who everyone on the company moans to and calls names behind his back. But really knows more about what's happening in the company than the management.

I've got very broad shoulders and can take the strain and flack in my stride.

I will need a company car, expense account, share options, and pension package (
 
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ThePlotter

Jan 2, 2006
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Thanks Parksy and Soozeg it is indeed good news but no so for Colin as of course the new arrival even at such a tender age (12hours) has already been appointed to the board of directors of Smokaloo PLC and its sister company Hovercrap PLC.The appointment has been ratified and will mean the departure of Colin from the board.This was a difficult decision but nepatism will always win not least because Colin had previously deserted his post leaving the company at risk all so he could head of to a special beach somewhere.lol.

Euro your application for employment is being considered and I await approval or otherwise from Liz (Cornwall) who is a fellow director or Emmerson if he is around.
 
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Wehey, I can't wait.

Congrats Plotter and keeping business in the family is a first class management move. Tell Liz that I'm also happy to push a mop! I woudn't expect clients or management to clear up.

I'm a top hand at sorting others mess!

ps

If I'm getting a duck house on expenses, I'll need a few quackers to go in it. I'll get a price and my claim prepared!

I'm happy for the ducks to double as the company mascots, so the accountants should be able to claim that as tax deducatable ;-0
 
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colin(bridgend)

Mar 14, 2005
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Mr. P. congratulations to your wife and self on the birth of your new grandchild. More so congratulations to the proud parents and I trust that all are well and progressing fine.

Now to the important part of this posting - as I was the originator of the purchase of the company off the receivers I cannot for the life of me see how you and a baby have the right to dethrone me from my position of chairmanship of the company. Probably the baby has inherited your company ways and instigated the move. Also to keep the records straight I DID NOT desert the company - I merely took a hard earned holiday and thought I could leave the company in the hands of Liz and yourself - HOW WRONG I WAS - we all learn by our mistakes and hindsight is a marvellous thing. Therefore as a token of friendship I am prepared to offer my hand as a friend and again welcome you both to the company boardroom as fellow directors of the new company.

Euro - from previous postings you have made on this forum I think your talents are such that you are far more capable of a senior post than that of a humble janitor. I think you are putting yourself down and are capable of better. However it is up to you and as Plotter says if this is what you want you are welcome to join us. (PS everybody knows more than Plotter LOL)
 
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ThePlotter

Jan 2, 2006
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'Chairmanship' me thinks delusions of gandeur Col me old mate you were for a time (very short time) MD only because at the time I was busy plotting and Liz was busy in the loos moving around what you had said .lol

However, following a meeting (you were of course excluded)as a gesture of friendship to our foreign customers(those from Wales) we are prepared to take you back albeit as night watchman.This post we feel is appropriate as we have been advised that you are good at watching things having practiced on the beach near Poole lol
 
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LizCornwall

Oct 17, 2006
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New overalls on the way to you Lee, sorry for the delay only been trying to get hold of that Colin, think he must be on holidays again at Studland Beach LOL, I have created a new design on overalls hope you like them. As for Plotter he also has disappeared, must be busy being a Grandad having to change those nappies LOL wish we had some smilies on here, welcome Euro.

Now let me see who else is missing???
 
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emmerson2

Mar 14, 2005
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As my illustious name has been mentioned in connection with this somewhat ludicrous operation, I have instructed my legal and financial people to look into the affairs of Smokaloo plc.

My future actions will depend on their reports.

As one of the company's directors has just been appointed to the august Fellowship of Grandads,he will not now have time to give his full attention to the running of the company.I therefore expect an unfavourable report from my people.
 
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colin(bridgend)

Mar 14, 2005
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Liz = I am not anywhere near Studland Beach, I think Plotter must have mistaken identities when he was at the beach pimping with his high powered binoculars.

Emmerson - I have been a grandad for 15 years and still have time to devote 100% attention to this "ludricous operation". I therefore am of the opinion that as an employee, like myself, you should refrain from giving the company a bad impression to Joe Public - in effect you are biting the hand that feeds you. I trust that you will accept this as a first verbal warning and refrain from such adverse comments in future. There should be nothing but good report about the company, its employees and its products. We are a 100% British company employing British staff and producing a first class British product for world sales. We have no intention of closing down and relocating abroad for cheaper labour even though we do not receive any funding from the caring British government.
 
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Pat_374304630

May 21, 2007
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Are you in need of an auditor as I can provide the service. Of course I don't come cheap, but I Would provide a first class service as is befitting a thouroughbred british company.
 
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ShadySadie

Mar 26, 2008
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OMG! With Euro on board on expenses you'll never be paying tax on profits :)

Liz, don't let him near anything more than a mop and bucket, he'll have a seat on the board before you know it and have the business sold to Arab investors whilst taking a cut from them and Smokaloo plus share options and bonuses.
 
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colin(bridgend)

Mar 14, 2005
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Pat - if your capabilities are more in the line of designing a quality advertising brochure with detailed colour photographs of the products accompanied by well written description - something of quality that will sell the products - then welcome aboard, although we must first discuss financial rewards before making the final appointment.
 
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colin(bridgend)

Mar 14, 2005
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OMG! With Euro on board on expenses you'll never be paying tax on profits :)

Liz, don't let him near anything more than a mop and bucket, he'll have a seat on the board before you know it and have the business sold to Arab investors whilst taking a cut from them and Smokaloo plus share options and bonuses.
Click to expand...
Euro is not a MEP by any chance
 
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colin(bridgend)

Mar 14, 2005
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Pat - if your capabilities are more in the line of designing a quality advertising brochure with detailed colour photographs of the products accompanied by well written description - something of quality that will sell the products - then welcome aboard, although we must first discuss financial rewards before making the final appointment.
Click to expand...
sorry Pat misread your posting - should have gone to Specsavers - thought you had printed "author" instead of "auditor".
 
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Guest

THANKS Sadie,

If you need a Marketing,PR and Hospitality guru Colin.

You need SS on board.
 
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Guest

Pat - if your capabilities are more in the line of designing a quality advertising brochure with detailed colour photographs of the products accompanied by well written description - something of quality that will sell the products - then welcome aboard, although we must first discuss financial rewards before making the final appointment.
Click to expand...
NO Colin I wouldn't get out of bed for what they're on.
 
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emmerson2

Mar 14, 2005
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Colin(bridgend0, it's not being a grandad that worries me - I've been one myself for twelve years. It's the being a grandad for the first time that's the problem. The only thing Plotter will be able to talk about for the next few weeks will be his new grandchild.Every conversation will be turned to that subject, and in the meantime our foreign customers will get bored to tears and buy cheaper, poorer quality Far Eastern crap.
 
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LizCornwall

Oct 17, 2006
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Regarding the above Company, I feel that our heart and soles are not quite back into this company, I therefore take upon myself to get this company up and running again with lots of motivation - I therefore I am sending all employees a Mop and Bucket to practice with, full instructions on how to use also enclosed LOL

I will be popping around to see how you are getting on with your equipment LOL

Regards

Liz xx
 
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colin(bridgend)

Mar 14, 2005
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A mop and bucket for the MD. Damn woman I have never been so insulted in my life. My station within the company and society in general is way above such demeening trivialities. My suite of offices incl. the personal bathroom is cleaned for me by a subordinate - I do not use such equipment for my line of work. My time is too expencive for the company for me to stoop so low.
 
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LizCornwall

Oct 17, 2006
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A mop and bucket for the MD. Damn woman I have never been so insulted in my life. My station within the company and society in general is way above such demeening trivialities. My suite of offices incl. the personal bathroom is cleaned for me by a subordinate - I do not use such equipment for my line of work. My time is too expencive for the company for me to stoop so low.
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LOL Colin, yes you as MD or under review LOL, I feel that considering my position working from bottom to top with this company, now is the time for you to stoop a little - mind you you will not have to stoop too far as the handle on the mop is quite long LOL

Kind Regards

Liz MD
 
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