Dear all....
My heartfelt appreciation goes out to all of you who have taken the time and
trouble to send me "forward" emails over the past 12 months. Thank you for making
me feel safe, secure, blessed and healthy.
Extra thanks to whoever sent me the email about rat cr*p in the glue on
envelopes - 'cos I now have to go get a wet towel every time I need
to seal an envelope.
Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
Because of your genuine concern, I no longer drink Coca Cola as I know it
can remove toilet stains, which is not exactly an appealing characteristic.
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be
pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a
water buffalo on a hot day.
I no longer go shopping in the large stores because someone might drug me with a
perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer eat KFC because their "chickens" are actually horrible
mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
I no longer worry about my soul because at last count, I have 363,214
angels looking out for me.
Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I
forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl on the
internet who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time).
I no longer have any money at all in fact - but that will change once
I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for
participating in their special on-line email program.
Yes, I want to thank you all so much for looking out for me that I
will now return the favour! If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000
people in the next 7 minutes, a large pigeon with a wicked case of diarrhoea
will land on your head at 6:00 PM this evening. I know this will
occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour's
ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician.
DO IT NOW OR ELSE.
And Have a nice day!
ttfn
My heartfelt appreciation goes out to all of you who have taken the time and
trouble to send me "forward" emails over the past 12 months. Thank you for making
me feel safe, secure, blessed and healthy.
Extra thanks to whoever sent me the email about rat cr*p in the glue on
envelopes - 'cos I now have to go get a wet towel every time I need
to seal an envelope.
Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
Because of your genuine concern, I no longer drink Coca Cola as I know it
can remove toilet stains, which is not exactly an appealing characteristic.
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be
pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a
water buffalo on a hot day.
I no longer go shopping in the large stores because someone might drug me with a
perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer eat KFC because their "chickens" are actually horrible
mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
I no longer worry about my soul because at last count, I have 363,214
angels looking out for me.
Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I
forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl on the
internet who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time).
I no longer have any money at all in fact - but that will change once
I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for
participating in their special on-line email program.
Yes, I want to thank you all so much for looking out for me that I
will now return the favour! If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000
people in the next 7 minutes, a large pigeon with a wicked case of diarrhoea
will land on your head at 6:00 PM this evening. I know this will
occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour's
ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician.
DO IT NOW OR ELSE.
And Have a nice day!
ttfn
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