Woosie Club

[WoodlandsCamper]

Can my wife join the Woosie Club? She phoned me from Sainsbury's car park saying she couldn't turn the key in the ignition and would I drive there with her spare key. When I got there she said everything was now OK. .......

..... She has TWO sets of car keys in her pocket, ones for her car and ones for our son's car. She'd opened the door with her own keys, but tried starting the ignition with our son's keys.

I rest my case.

 

[Gagakev]

Sorry W C this action doesnt qualify your other half to join us.

But we could actually consider yourself as a new member on the basis that you WENT to her aid,

And to back up your application which will help you qualify emensly is your initials.........WC

I will propose you on this basis and I'm sure King DD or other members will be along to 2nd you
Good luck

 

[Mel]

Perhaps you should take this opportunity to publish, in full, the membership criteria. There may be Woosies-in-waiting out there who do not know that they can join.
mel.

 

[WoodlandsCamper]

Well, it appears that nobody wants to 2nd me, so the 'exclusive' club stays exclusive.
Best wishes
WC

 

[Mel]

Don't feel bad, as far as I can make out there are only two members, DD and Kev. TC is an honorary member. I am not a member as I don't make a fuss about matters lavatorial. I would suggest that you just assume membership. After all this is the Woosie club so they are hardly going to get stroppy with you.
mel

 

[Gagakev]

Well, it appears that nobody wants to 2nd me, so the 'exclusive' club stays exclusive.
Best wishes
WC

WC please dont panic, we are currently carrying out references on which we are awaiting a reply, I'm sure when this is returned DD will confirm membership.

 

[Gagakev]

Don't feel bad, as far as I can make out there are only two members, DD and Kev. TC is an honorary member. I am not a member as I don't make a fuss about matters lavatorial. I would suggest that you just assume membership. After all this is the Woosie club so they are hardly going to get stroppy with you.
mel

We are currently updating the application procedure and holding a special AGM very shorlty. New membership applications will now include;
Any one who is scared of silly things like spiders etc
Any one who finds normal everyday chores repulsive
Any one with initials/name that we find suitable.
Any one who runs around after there better halfs which is unneccasary
Any one who gives silly remarks to others on this forum

There are a couple more of which have to be confirmed and you will be informed at a later date.

 

[Dustydog]

Don't feel bad, as far as I can make out there are only two members, DD and Kev. TC is an honorary member. I am not a member as I don't make a fuss about matters lavatorial. I would suggest that you just assume membership. After all this is the Woosie club so they are hardly going to get stroppy with you.
mel

We are currently updating the application procedure and holding a special AGM very shorlty. New membership applications will now include;
Any one who is scared of silly things like spiders etc
Any one who finds normal everyday chores repulsive
Any one with initials/name that we find suitable.
Any one who runs around after there better halfs which is unneccasary
Any one who gives silly remarks to others on this forum

There are a couple more of which have to be confirmed and you will be informed at a later date.

Mel
There are more eg Sir Rob T. Dame TC is a fully fledged member . As you are "mad" we may well consider you for future membership. Dame Mel has a lovely ring to it. I'll check with Sir Gagakev to see if you meet our criteria.
A Woosie can be anything you like really. It's all a bit of a spoof.
Woodlands Camper , to be known as Sir WC, will be admitted to the Woosie Round Table purely on the grounds he was a wimp and went chasing after his wife.

He should have given her the AA phone number

. So 10 out of 10 for being a good Woosie

Eg
Those who wont sleep in their awning
Those who waste electricity heating the awning at 2kw just to keep the dog warm.
Those who want a Chinese take away delivered to their caravan door
Don't like getting muddy
Complain to the Wardens about the weather
and there are many more!

If anyone else wishes to become a Knight or Dame of the Woosie Club please tell us some of your silly stories or pet dislikes about getting your hands dirty caravanning. No need to be lavatorial.

 

[Gafferbill]

What I am puzzled about is why Woodlands Camper walks around all the time with a case that is obviously too heavy for him?
What has he got in it that it is always with him?
It obviously infuriates his wife so much that she cannot cope anymore and spends most of her time in a trance.

Don’t just rest you case WC get rid of the bl**dy thing for the sake of your wife!!

 

[WoodlandsCamper]

Gafferbill

I've been carrying the case for so long now without opening it I have forgotten what's inside. Perhaps I can manage a quick peep over the Xmas holidays, and hope I don't find any spiders!!

DD - Thank you for 'knighting' me.

Regards
Sir WC

 

[Martin24]

Don't feel bad, as far as I can make out there are only two members, DD and Kev. TC is an honorary member. I am not a member as I don't make a fuss about matters lavatorial. I would suggest that you just assume membership. After all this is the Woosie club so they are hardly going to get stroppy with you.
mel

We are currently updating the application procedure and holding a special AGM very shorlty. New membership applications will now include;
Any one who is scared of silly things like spiders etc
Any one who finds normal everyday chores repulsive
Any one with initials/name that we find suitable.
Any one who runs around after there better halfs which is unneccasary
Any one who gives silly remarks to others on this forum

There are a couple more of which have to be confirmed and you will be informed at a later date.

Well I'm afraid of eight legged things that we call McBeths in this house because even saying the S word gets me running for the door. SWIMBO of course runs around after me, especially at toilet emptying time! As for silly remarks............ as soon as the serious stuff starts I just have to say something silly to get them all going! I'm still sniggering at how hot under the collar people got when nose weights were discussed last year and I said if you could lift the van too easily it was too light and if you couldn't lift it, it was too heavy so go for somewhere inbetween! So do we both count. And of course we have ordered a 110SW

 

[Mel]

Don't feel bad, as far as I can make out there are only two members, DD and Kev. TC is an honorary member. I am not a member as I don't make a fuss about matters lavatorial. I would suggest that you just assume membership. After all this is the Woosie club so they are hardly going to get stroppy with you.
mel

We are currently updating the application procedure and holding a special AGM very shorlty. New membership applications will now include;
Any one who is scared of silly things like spiders etc
Any one who finds normal everyday chores repulsive
Any one with initials/name that we find suitable.
Any one who runs around after there better halfs which is unneccasary
Any one who gives silly remarks to others on this forum

There are a couple more of which have to be confirmed and you will be informed at a later date.

Mel
There are more eg Sir Rob T. Dame TC is a fully fledged member . As you are "mad" we may well consider you for future membership. Dame Mel has a lovely ring to it. I'll check with Sir Gagakev to see if you meet our criteria.
A Woosie can be anything you like really. It's all a bit of a spoof.
Woodlands Camper , to be known as Sir WC, will be admitted to the Woosie Round Table purely on the grounds he was a wimp and went chasing after his wife.

He should have given her the AA phone number

. So 10 out of 10 for being a good Woosie

Eg
Those who wont sleep in their awning
Those who waste electricity heating the awning at 2kw just to keep the dog warm.
Those who want a Chinese take away delivered to their caravan door
Don't like getting muddy
Complain to the Wardens about the weather
and there are many more!

If anyone else wishes to become a Knight or Dame of the Woosie Club please tell us some of your silly stories or pet dislikes about getting your hands dirty caravanning. No need to be lavatorial.

DD I am touched and humbled by your kind offer of future membership. May I proffer my meagre credentials:
I have a deep and abiding horror of slugs (especially ginger ones)
The thought of lolly sticks makes my teeth curl
As a child I was traumatised by the Disney film; "The sword in the stone" (The bit where he witch pulls her hair apart to reveal that she turned into a pig).

I will do my best to uphold Woosie traditions if honoured with membership
mel

 

[Gagakev]

King DD, I would like to confirm that Mel should be accepted onto our elite round table.
Think we should offer this special lady the opportunity to decide her Title.
Dame Mel, Lady Mel, but I think we should have a new title instilled and if Mel accepts I propose
Princess Mel
As leader I await your valued decision.

 

[colin-yorkshire1]

hi all,
I do like a laugh and reading about fellow forum members quirkes and transpondancies the woosie club is brilliant keep it up.
of course I would never qualify as being a 6ft chunky ex miner I'am not scared of anything and as for matters lavatorial my view is if you don't like emptying it dont use it??

 

[Dustydog]

duplicate post

 

[Dustydog]

King DD, I would like to confirm that Mel should be accepted onto our elite round table.
Think we should offer this special lady the opportunity to decide her Title.
Dame Mel, Lady Mel, but I think we should have a new title instilled and if Mel accepts I propose
Princess Mel
As leader I await your valued decision.

Well Mel
You're in ! Congratulations on joining the Woosie Round Table.
Let us know what Title we can bestow upon you

 

[Mel]

I am proud to accept membership. Lady mel is more of a title than I could ever hope for. I look forward to a round table meeting at Stowford this May ( if the bookings ever open).
mel
member of the Woosie club

 

[Gagakev]

Lady Mel, I am so excited you have been accepted, hope you go on to propose and 2nd new members then we can take over the Marquee at Stowford.

 

[Dustydog]

Lady Mel it is . Welcome and congratulations on your new Woosie Club title.
See you at the Woosie table at Stowford.

 

[kopite]

Evening Ladies and Gents
I`m thinking of becoming a member if the benifits are benificial to one`s self.I have the initials W C and also willing to meet most of the critiria
yours faithfully
W.Cooper

 

[Mel]

As a member of the Woosie club I am happy to second that, on the grounds of lavatorial initials.
Lady mel
member

 

[Gagakev]

Evening Ladies and Gents
I`m thinking of becoming a member if the benifits are benificial to one`s self.I have the initials W C and also willing to meet most of the critiria
yours faithfully
W.Cooper

Now then W.Cooper Kopite, first thing to get sorted is you must understand the club will take no CRAP!!!
Before you can be 2nd we have to bestow your title as we already have a Sir WC (Woodlands Camper has been excepted)
So Sir WC Kopite would be acceptable if you agree, or you could propose your own title and we will see if it meets our criteria.
You will also have to make a concerted effort to attend the Woosie Club Round Table meeting at Stowford next year.
Let us now what you think so we can sanction any proposals
Good Luck

 

[Dustydog]

hi all,
I do like a laugh and reading about fellow forum members quirkes and transpondancies the woosie club is brilliant keep it up.
of course I would never qualify as being a 6ft chunky ex miner I'am not scared of anything and as for matters lavatorial my view is if you don't like emptying it dont use it??

Now now Colin,
I'm 6ft and could do with losing a few pounds so that will not exclude you from the Woosie Club.
I seem to recall you lost your little friend a while back and I am sure you shed some tears.

In that case that makes you eligible for the Woosie Club. Did you ever get another dog?
I therefore propose Colin of Yorkshire is granted entry to the Woosie Round Table. He can be known as Sir Chunky or Sir Colin. I am sure one of my fellow members will second this proposal and hopefully this weekend we will have a knight who can handle any lavatorial matter

.

 

[WoodlandsCamper]

Lady Mel
As a fellow Woosie may I congratulate you on your membership. Also to the impending Sir WC Kopite (If that title is accepted).

Just to update you on my case - I am still plucking up the courage to open it, so by next week I may be able to see what the long-lost contents are.

Regards
Sir WC

 

[WoodlandsCamper]

I therefore propose Colin of Yorkshire is granted entry to the Woosie Round Table. He can be known as Sir Chunky or Sir Colin. I am sure one of my fellow members will second this proposal and hopefully this weekend we will have a knight who can handle any lavatorial matter

.

I second Colin of Yorkshire.
Sir WC