Hi Gareth,
The fridge and caravan battery charge are two completely different circuits - which could be fed from one 20 amp supply.
The fridge feed normally has the SmartCom voltage sensing relay that only supplies power to the fridge when the engine is running above idle speed - and the alternator is producing enough current to supply the extra load.
Inside the caravan, that same fridge feed is also connected to a (habitation) relay - and this diverts electrical power from the permanent live feed to charge the battery.
So what would you achieve by using a "dumb" relay?
1. It could be wired to provide 12 volt power to pins 4 and 6 in the 12S connector - feeding power to the fridge (6) and caravan battery (4)
2. It could be activated by the cars switched 12 volt supply.
3. This will provide power to the fridge and the caravan battery as soon as you put the key in the ignition. That may not be ideal - it'd be like starting your car with all the headlights on.
4. And you'll need a 20Amp fuse in the heavy duty wiring between the battery and the relay.
If you want to replicate the "voltage sensing" relay but using you as the smart bit - then a manual 12 volt switch in-line with the supply that energises the relay would work:
You put the key in the ignition, 12 volts flows from the switched supply - but is interrupted by the switch - you start the car - flip the switch - the energising power now flows to the relay and switches on the heavy duty supply to the fridge. But you need to remember to open the switch before starting the engine.
Robert