Boys in Ladies Shower Room

[StevePeters]

Just come back from a weekend away at Caravan Club Site Rooksbury Park, Fareham Hampshire. Had a great time. However my wife raised a slight concern over the showers which prompted me to post this.
The concern is over the number of Ladies that take boys into the Ladies showers and the fact that some of them seem to be quite old and certainly old enough to have a shower on their own, especially as when in the showers the child is put in a cubicle on their own.
My questions are as follows:
Is this happening for convenience or are there underling fears in sending boys into the male showers on there own.
Should this be allowed
If yes what is an acceptable age and how should this be monitored.
If the child needs to go to the shower with a parent should they be the same sex and should they share a shower.
Have any other ladies noticed this and if so are they happy.

 

[LMH]

My questions are as follows:
Is this happening for convenience or are there underling fears in sending boys into the male showers on there own. (Underlying fears, I'd say)
Should this be allowed (yes)
If yes what is an acceptable age and how should this be monitored. (Depends on the child, for instance, the child might be special needs or disabled). (However, having said that, I think maybe, the age should be restricted to about 10, then they would have to use men's showers with an appropriate adult if necessary). Not all children these days have a live in dad.
If the child needs to go to the shower with a parent should they be the same sex and should they share a shower. (no comment).
Have any other ladies noticed this and if so are they happy. I have noticed this, but as long as everything is kept private, eg getting dressed/undressed behind a locked door, then I can't see a problem).

 

[colin-yorkshire1]

1. convienience or paranoia
2. NO. thats what family rooms are for. if club sites dont have them change clubs or go to sites that do.
3. not at any age that is why caravans have shower rooms, (may be a problem showering in a pokey little 2ft square for some adults) but for a child no excuse.
4.immaterial answered in question 3.
5. not being a lady cannot answer that however the wife has commented on this many times over the years and come back without using the shower untill they have left. (not all showers have full closable doors) although these days most times she requires help so goes into the disabled room where I can help her.

children learn from adults and by example when small boys get into the habit of using the ladies room with mummy carry on when mummy isn,t there boys as old as 11 or 12 still seem to "prefer" going into the ladies I have seen it my self and reported it to reception a few times.
as an aside I cannot speak for the kids of today but by the time I was 11 or 12 I remember being quite interested in ladies "bumpy bits"

 

[JonnyG]

Have to say i entirely agree with colin statement.

 

[sheila_374397204]

It's not just caravan club sites but all sites at which this happens. Also it's not just to use the shower but the toilets too. We often take our elderly parents (in their 80s) caravanning for a break for them and my mother in law has commented on this many times - she does not like it at all. No-one has any problems with mums taking babies or toddlers into the loo/shower with them but once they become older there is no reason why they should not use the gents (even if they do not have a father with them, although I find there are few caravanning single parents with young children). In these days of men generally taking joint responsibiity for their children I see no reason why fathers do not take their sons whilst mothers take their daughters.

 

[Olive1]

Empty post (likely not intentional - probably an Internet Explorer issue!)

 

[Timbo1]

Could I just make the point that my step son is now 6ft 6" and has always been perceived as a lot older than his age as he has always been tall. My partner was a single Mum and as a result my step son lived in a very female dominated world for 8 years until I came on the scene - he was using female toilets with her in the main when in public areas. I remember being at Heathrow Airport with him and he wanted to go to the toilet, I asked if he wanted to come to the male toilet with me and he said "I'll try it!". I do not think one can legislate for "an acceptable age" as we are all unique beings and each environment is unique and needs to be assessed for risk independently. Generational differences also need to be considered, what is unnaceptable for an older person may be the norm for someone younger. I think as long as people are acting in a dignified manner and being respectful of each others feelings as far as possible there should be no problem. To be honest I think sometimes women can be offended by each other's "bumpy bits" if they are flaunted about! On campsites there is usually room in the cubicle to wash and dress so what is such a problem when you are faced with a fully clothed being of the opposite sex?

 

[scooby301]

Can’t help feeling that once again, certain people seem to have it in for children! I do not see anything wrong with children using the showering facilities with a parent. We always use CC sites but are not allowed to use the ‘family rooms’ since my son is seven years of age – IF certain narrow minded people feel so strongly about not allowing children to shower with their parent (discriminating against single parent families) then start writing to the CC sites to raise the age that children are allowed to use these ‘family rooms’
I can assure you that we would and will NOT allow my seven year old to shower on his own.
My questions are as follows: (ANSWERS TO FIRST POST)
Is this happening for convenience or are there underling fears in sending boys into the male showers on there own. (Fears – yes, also depending on age, can they reach to adjust temperature etc.)
Should this be allowed (Of course – If I am not mistaken there are cubicles to wash and dress)
If yes what is an acceptable age and how should this be monitored. (11 to 12)
If the child needs to go to the shower with a parent should they be the same sex and should they share a shower. (Up to the parent)
Have any other ladies noticed this and if so are they happy. (If not happy then complain to the CC – raise the age to use family rooms or should families be allowed to use disabled facilities)

 

[DeliDave_]

We have two grandchildren,both boys and take one each,can't see why anyone should be offended and who in their right mind would send send a child alone into a male changing room .Our youngest grandchild has idic 15 and a full time carer at school,if there are disabled facilities we all go in there but he certainly couldnt cope alone,he is still in nappies at 6 and my wife cant lift him.France is far advanced where ladies use mens facilities if there are queues and no one bats an eye.Much more sensible imho.

 

[colin-yorkshire1]

Could I just make the point that my step son is now 6ft 6" and has always been perceived as a lot older than his age as he has always been tall. My partner was a single Mum and as a result my step son lived in a very female dominated world for 8 years until I came on the scene - he was using female toilets with her in the main when in public areas. I remember being at Heathrow Airport with him and he wanted to go to the toilet, I asked if he wanted to come to the male toilet with me and he said "I'll try it!". I do not think one can legislate for "an acceptable age" as we are all unique beings and each environment is unique and needs to be assessed for risk independently. Generational differences also need to be considered, what is unnaceptable for an older person may be the norm for someone younger. I think as long as people are acting in a dignified manner and being respectful of each others feelings as far as possible there should be no problem. To be honest I think sometimes women can be offended by each other's "bumpy bits" if they are flaunted about! On campsites there is usually room in the cubicle to wash and dress so what is such a problem when you are faced with a fully clothed being of the opposite sex?

hi Timbo
because it's called cultural difference in France and holland I believe they use unisex toilets fine thats up to them and their heritage and custom but here we seperate the sexes thats part of our heritage and custom boys of any age should not be in the ladies loos or showers and neither should girls be in the gent's (not much of a problem) as I said before with nearly all caravans having on suite facilities there really is no excuse for this.

 

[JohnGriffiths]

On many French campsites the toilets and showers are unisex and I have to say although I'm no prude I'm not entirely comfortable with it. Last year I was showering when a couple of teenage girls came in, and both got into the same shower next to mine. They started play fighting (no I wasn't having a "confessions" type dream). We all stepped out together, both of them half dressed and I felt like a dirty old man and that I needed to get out quick in case they thought I was ogling. Funny in one way, but awkward in another.
So it isn't only women who might get upset by these sort of things.

 

[sheila_374397204]

Not everyone is necessarily having a shower in the ladies, my 84 year old mother in law tends to have a strip wash as she finds this easier, and not all caravan parks have individual washing cubicles therefore she is washing in her bra in the main toilet/sink area and does not feel it appropriate to have 11/12 year old boys in there.

 

[Dustydog]

Not everyone is necessarily having a shower in the ladies, my 84 year old mother in law tends to have a strip wash as she finds this easier, and not all caravan parks have individual washing cubicles therefore she is washing in her bra in the main toilet/sink area and does not feel it appropriate to have 11/12 year old boys in there.

Sheila
At 84 I'm very pleased your M I L still enjoys caravanning. I took my 85 year old mum to Cornwall a few weeks ago. She made very good use of the disabled facility for her privacy. Your M I L could always have a good wash down in the caravan with or without her bra.?

In reality I don't think many ladies show it all at the basins so maybe the problem isn't one of modesty, more perhaps good old fashioned sexism.
Many European sites are of course unisex.

 

[Lord Braykewynde]

My take on this is, not that anyone cares but you're getting it anyway

, the sign shows female showers and not a sign showing a female holding a boys hand. Hence they should be for females and not 11/12 year old boys. If this is really an issue for some by allowing their boy to use the male showers alone then maybe they should select sites with a family room or use the onboard van shower.
OK I accept signs mean sweet Fanny Adams to some, just take the 'Max 5mph' or 'Dogs Must Be On Leads' and how often these are broken.
I suppose it all comes down to respect for others, something this country has been lacking now for at least the last 15 years.

 

[Martin24]

And the same could be said of girls going to the gents I assume!!! Well sometimes life ain't fair and we have to make adjustments. I would of spent the past eighteen months at home never even going for a day out. When you are widowed with a six year old Daughter you have NO CHOICE!!!

 

[Joann]

It's not just caravan club sites but all sites at which this happens. Also it's not just to use the shower but the toilets too. We often take our elderly parents (in their 80s) caravanning for a break for them and my mother in law has commented on this many times - she does not like it at all. No-one has any problems with mums taking babies or toddlers into the loo/shower with them but once they become older there is no reason why they should not use the gents (even if they do not have a father with them, although I find there are few caravanning single parents with young children). In these days of men generally taking joint responsibiity for their children I see no reason why fathers do not take their sons whilst mothers take their daughters.

my best friend and I frequently caravan without our husbands and just take our boys with us ( aged 3 and 4 respectively) so we are effectively 'single' parents for duration of our stay, this is for no other reason than we get more holiday days from work and like to use them to go caravanning. It is not a case of fathers not taking responsibilty. We use the van shower for the boys and when they are bigger they will use the men's

 

[Surfer]

And the same could be said of girls going to the gents I assume!!! Well sometimes life ain't fair and we have to make adjustments. I would of spent the past eighteen months at home never even going for a day out. When you are widowed with a six year old Daughter you have NO CHOICE!!!

Surely with the size of your caravan, you have a washroom and toilet? It may be an issue off site and surely not on site?

 

[Lord Braykewynde]

And the same could be said of girls going to the gents I assume!!! Well sometimes life ain't fair and we have to make adjustments. I would of spent the past eighteen months at home never even going for a day out. When you are widowed with a six year old Daughter you have NO CHOICE!!!

Surely with the size of your caravan, you have a washroom and toilet? It may be an issue off site and surely not on site?

I didn't really understand the point that Martin24 was trying to make hence the reason I never replied. I can see a problem using public conveniences when out and about but not a problem using the van shower.

 

[602]

Hi,

This is my third attempt ..... my mails go missing. Could it be something to do with that security number thingy. Am I supposed to copy it?

Anyway, in the mid-1970s, my wife pursuaded me to visit the local swimming baths (Llanelli). The men's changing room was one big room with benches round the walls, and hooks for your clothes. No privacy, lots of blokes getting their kit off and on, despite half a dozen pre-teenage girls being present. I never went again.

602

 

[Willi-Wonti]

As long as every one is behind a locked door, I can not see what the problem is unless it is Victorian prudishness which only happens in this country.
If you were to use campsites on the continent you would find that a lot of toilet / shower blocks are unisex with the toilet cubicles opposite the urinals, in fact one site in Spain a couple of years ago the female cleaner was giving me Spanish lessons whilst I was taking a pee & she was wiping down the urinals

 

[sallybw]

I have a 3 1/2 year old son, does this mean that he is not allowed into the ladies shower room with myself!! What is the world coming too. I understand that a child of 10/11 is old enough to shower in their own gender shower but a young child surely there is no issue with this. As it happens my husband normally takes him for a shower but should I wish to have this option then I have no problem whatsoever with taking him into the showers. Most of the showers that I have used are single cubicles and to be honest I woudnt be happy sharing a communial shower with anyone else anyway as it is not my thing!

 

[sallybw]

I dont think taking a dog into the shower rooms is quite the same as taking a young child in?? I am both a mother and a dog owner and I can see the difference.

 

[RegandPat]

I worked in a public building before retiring and a lady always used the gents and would happily pee with us, and she was staff.
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My daughters treated Pat and me to a day trip to France, I had never been before, stopped out side a loo as I was bursting, walked in but there was no door to close behind me and the car was parked just out side, I made them move along a bit.
On more investigating there was no marks for hinges and no sign of ever a door there.
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As for boys in ladys NO .