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Donkey for sale

Young Paddy bought a donkey from a farmer for £100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day..
The next day he drove up and said, ‘Sorry son, but I have some bad news. The donkey’s died.’
Paddy replied, ‘Well then just give me my money back.’ The farmer said, ‘Can’t do that. I’ve already spent it.’
Paddy said, ‘OK, then, just bring me the dead donkey.’ The farmer asked, ‘What are you going to do with him?’
Paddy said, ‘I’m going to raffle him off.’ The farmer said, ‘You can’t raffle a dead donkey!’
Paddy said, ‘Sure I can. Watch me.. I just won’t tell anybody he’s dead.’
A month later, the farmer met up with Paddy and asked, ‘What happened with that dead donkey?’
Paddy said, ‘I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two pounds a piece and made a profit of £898′
The farmer said, ‘Didn’t anyone complain?’ Paddy said, ‘Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two pounds back.’
Paddy now works for a major bank somewhere!
 
An old donkey fell into a deep hole. The kindly farmer realised it would be impossible to rescue it, so felt it best to put it out of its misery .... but all he had was a spade.
Undaunted he decide to bury it, thinking that death by suffocation was better than starving to death. Discuss! But as he shovelled earth into the hole, he was amazed to finf the donkey trampling it down, so that the hole got shallower and shallower. Eventually the donkey was able to climb out, and trot away.
"Gratitude!" the farmer shouted after it, sarcasticaly.
The donkey heard and understood. It turned round, cantered back ...... and sank its teeth into the farmer's bum.

There is a moral ..... "If you try to cover your ass, it will come back and bite you!"
 

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