English as it is spoke

[JamesH]

Just received an email from a utility company advising that we may be experiencing low water pressure or no water.
One sentence reads :- Are team are currently onsite working to repair the leak.
English as it is spoke !

 

[NigelHutson]

Gud ‘eavens! Innit abaat time they cud speak reight proper?

 

[Damian]

Got to love it !!
Near me is a chap who sells logs from a yard with a barn, so he sells the more expensive "Barn Dried Logs"
However, due to some work going on the entrance has had to be moved a couple of yards further down the road so he has put up a large sign with an arrow pointing to the temporary entry and the words " LOGS HEAR "
I wold love to know what they hear.....................maybe not.

 

[chrisbee1]

At least they don't claim to be mending a Welsh vegetable. :S

 

[Grey13]

IMO English does not exist anymore, although some would say all languages change as time passes. Anyway the one that gets me the most is, "I was sat there" Tenses dear, tenses! OH and then that bloke on the telly, "through keyhole"

 

[Hutch]

A panda walks into a cafe. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and fires two shots in the air.

"Why?" Asks the confused waiter, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder.

"I am a panda," he says, at the door. "Look it up."

The waiter turns to the relevant entry and, sure enough, find an explanation.

"Panda. Large black and white bear like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves."

Lynne Truss.

 

[otherclive]

A panda walks into a cafe. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and fires two shots in the air.

"Why?" Asks the confused waiter, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder.

"I am a panda," he says, at the door. "Look it up."

The waiter turns to the relevant entry and, sure enough, find an explanation.

"Panda. Large black and white bear like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves."

Lynne Truss.

And that’s the polite version not the SBS one!

 

[Thingy]

Inglish as wot its spoke. Know wons teached em to talk reight like wot we do.

When my girls were schoolchildren, I was constantly astounded at the lack of ability of some of the teachers to correct grammar and even spell with a modicum of efficiency. This is a product of the "spell it how it sounds" years.

Now of course, our language is further weakened by the texting years. Full stops, capital letters, exclamation marks, commas and apostrophes in the right place...............I despair.

 

[Plodd]

Got to love it !!
Near me is a chap who sells logs from a yard with a barn, so he sells the more expensive "Barn Dried Logs"
However, due to some work going on the entrance has had to be moved a couple of yards further down the road so he has put up a large sign with an arrow pointing to the temporary entry and the words " LOGS HEAR "
I wold love to know what they hear.....................maybe not.

Should it not be 'LOG'S HEAR'?

 

[rubbernecker]

Where I live it would be yer

 

[emmerson]

Got to love it !!
Near me is a chap who sells logs from a yard with a barn, so he sells the more expensive "Barn Dried Logs"
However, due to some work going on the entrance has had to be moved a couple of yards further down the road so he has put up a large sign with an arrow pointing to the temporary entry and the words " LOGS HEAR "
I wold love to know what they hear.....................maybe not.

Should it not be 'LOG'S HEAR'?

Yes, it probably should of bean!