foster care fortnight

[Mel]

Well, as there has been considerably less than a blaze of publicity for Foster Care Fortnight, I thought I would do my usual bit on this forum to raise awareness. Have you ever thought of fostering? We love it. It is not without its challenges, but immensly rewarding. Some agencies are actually paying realistic money now! If you want to think about it Google, Fostering Network, BAAF, or your local social services department for more information. There are more/different folks on this forum to the last time I raised this, who knows who may be thinking about it and need this little nudge. Please feel free to ask me questions.

mel

 

[Chris_374413356]

I have a couple who live 3 doors from me and they foster up to 4 children at any one time and the problems these children bring to our quiet village is huge, I'm sure some of them are totally dysfunctional and perhaps not of their own making, but I feel they shouldn't be forced on neighbours.

Another fact that I find unacceptable, taxis come early every morning and take them 60 miles to school and bring them home after school.

I wonder who's paying the

 

[LMH]

Hi Mel

Thanks for your post. I think foster carers do a wonderful job, it's not for me I'm afraid, I'd get to attached.

As Chris says, 'if you do take up Mel's offer, please consider your neighbours'.

- A bit like getting a dog, please don't get one which barks.

You know where I'm coming from Mel.

Lisa xxx

 

[Philspadders]

Not in my back yard ?

Having indirectly dealt with some of the kids that go into foster care ,please,please dont hold the children responsible and please give them a chance,the same chances that you had.

Many of the kids come from very troubled backgrounds, often the victims of neglect, sexual abuse , drug ridden and alcoholic parents.

Imagine a child of 4 being found on a feaces stained matress , eating leftovers, with cigarette burns and bruises. Imagine a 4 year old child that never smiled or laughed . Image a 4 year old child that had never had a cuddle.Imagine a 4 year old child that did not use the word Mummy , but F*&K, *****,and many others.

Imagine 18 months later when that little boy laughed out loud for the first time,kicked a football, called someone Mummy,got a cuddle,a kiss and a bed time story.His life turned around and has got the same chances and opportunities that i had. He can now realise his potential to become a Doctor,a Fireman,maybe a bus driver ,or even the guy who designs your little caravan.

This story is not made up,it happened, i witnessed it. It makes me cry even now and im a 48 year old man.

Imagine the 12 year old school girl that has had a life of sexual abuse and cruelty.

Foster carers carry out an amazing job.Its not a job i could do.

Its not the kids fault, give them a chance as you probably have no idea of what they may have been through.

 

[Parksy]

'The problems that these children bring' to your 'quiet village' may well pale into insignificance compared to the problems that these children have faced and will continue to face Chris.

If these children are as dysfunctional as you say then the safest way for them to attend school is by taxi.

If the

 

[LMH]

Well said Phil and Parksy.

I was disgusted by Chris's post.

Lisa

 

[Lord Braykewynde]

Looking after four kids must take up some time so on that I wouldn't think Chris's neighbours work. Saying that, at

 

[Philspadders]

there are some who do it for the money but they are weeded out.Most do it because they want to help these kids in some way.

Some of the kids have very special needs.... the taxi cost is not fully subsidised and comes out of the foster carers allowance.

 

[Chris_374413356]

And finally, I hope, I fully understand the need for foster homes and their place in society. However, just like wind turbines you don't want one in your back garden.

I rest my case ...... unless you know different?

 

[cara89]

Rather a 600 quid taxi to a safe, happy house than an abusive house nearby.My tax I pay can go to this cause.

 

[cara89]

Yes give them a chance.Kids that have experienced abuse mentioned above will know exactly that you feel you dont want them in their village-they will pick that up a mile away.

 

[Mel]

Thank you all for joining in. Thanks phil for putting a bit of context to the awfulness of the children's experiences. None of it is exagerrated. I do sympathise with Chris sometimes the behaviour caused by the awfulness the children experienced can be hard on the neighbours, especially if the neighbours are on the next caravan pitch when our chap is having one of his (now increasingly infrequent) "moments"! Of course you can't explain to the folks who think that it is you who is the rubbish parent, as to the circumstances; so when people loudly mutter, "I blame the parents" , I can only inaudibly mutter ,"so do I".

I wouldn't want this, "think about it" thread to become an arguement as the money thing is complicated. Lord B is right some agencies who are taking on the most difficult to place children are paying around

 

[Lord Braykewynde]

Thanks for that Mel. I got the figures from the FCA website which does state that for smaller children the allowance would be less than

 

[LMH]

Actually, I'd have no objection to a wind turbine at the bottom of my garden.

Lisa

 

[Lord Braykewynde]

Actually, I'd have no objection to a wind turbine at the bottom of my garden.

Lisa

I've notified the National Grid and they said to pass on their thanks. They will be in touch shortly.

 

[LMH]

Thanks. Seriously, I really like them and love the sound they make.

 

[Hamer_5041128]

Chris,

Your comments go from bad to worse.Have you never thought the children in the next caravan could quite possibly be foster children, being shown how to behave and socialise for perhaps the first time in their lives. To compare foster children to wind turbines sums up the type of person you are.I worked for a large childrens charity for five years and have first hand knowledge of what love and care can do for these children. I dare not say any more otherwise the mod would remove my comment!!!!

Hamer

 

[landypete]

chris SNOB

these kids need all the help thay can get and if folk in in your village decide to help these kids then support them not look down your nose at them we have fosters liveing by me and i dont live in a village but it is avery quite esstate and we all help not rubbish them i apoliges in advance if i have broken any forum rules

 

[Rob_374471901]

Thanks for Flagging this up Mel. My wife and I have been foster carers for the last 7 years, having had 25 seperate children in our care over that time (as well as having two little boys of our own). We have done the whole lot, from premature babies to sibling groups to teenagers and teenage mums with their own babies. We currently have a 15 month old whose cannot be with his mum until she has sorted her drug habit, and you know what, I don't think my wife and I (or indeed our Kids, our eldest often refers to himself as a foster carer and he is) could see ourselves doing anything else.

This is my wife's job, and her career (actually I would say calling but that might be a bit strong), and she has invested alot of time and effort in it, undertaking copius training and assessments that all go to help the kids we look after. We do work for an agency, and as others have pointed out

 

[Mel]

Hello Rob. Glad you posted. I hoped it was only a matter of time before another foster carer turned up; somehow foster carers and caravanning go together. I know other foster carers who caravan but don't post on here. I know what you mean when you say it is like a "calling". Bit like caravanning; those who don't do it, don't get it. Those of us who do, can't imagine anything else. Like you we have fostered for 7 years but now offer a long term placement to one child. This wasn't the initial plan; but you know how it is; Social Services turn up and say can you have him for a few months...next thing you know he is stopping until he is 18 (at least).

I have photographs of him when he first came: pale, terror in his eyes and a total look of emptiness. I look at him now, and you wouldn't know he was the same child.

I will look out for you and your unit. The world is smaller than you imagine.

all the best

mel

 

[Lord Braykewynde]

Hi Rob,

just to put things into perspective any of my comments have been made regarding Chris's post and the 4 kids bringing problems to his village. If these 4 kids are creating mayhem they obviously aren't being well cared for.

It's ok some playing the 'holier than thou' stance but if these same 4 were local yobs doing damage what would their attitude be then.

Once again, I'm posting on Chris's scenario, not whether fostering is a good thing or not because I know that it is. It's just that I'm not so quick to condemn, unable to control the red mist.

It seems to me that these 'carers' are in it for the money and the figure of

 

[Mel]

You have a fair point, your Lordship. If there are 4 kids in a placement and they are all out of control, that is not OK; their needs are not being met. Our job is to get these kids as far back on to the straight and narrow as is possible. If a placement is not acheiving that then the placing social services need to get in there and reduce the numbers. I personally think that 4 very damaged youngsters in one place is too many. I do expect the neighbours to have a bit of tolerance, but I would not expect them to put up with what Chris describes.

mel

 

[forestgump]

i had 4 fosters in my shed but drank them sunday.

 

[cara89]

i had 4 fosters in my shed but drank them sunday.

In your shed St Gump???You got anything else stashed there?Where do you live ))

 

[PetePajero]

I would dearly love to foster a Bailey Oklahoma.

I will gladly take on this tremedous responsibility and if anyone out there wants me to, please reply lol