Further discussion

[LizCornwall]

Liz swap your 17 year old daughter for my 26 year old son who is just completing an honours degree in construction management. He has informed his mother that as he cannot afford a mortgage being a mature student when he will meets up with a young lady he will bring her home and live with us. He also has his mother's temper and when things don't go right the air is black. blue and all other colours you care to mention. God help the woman who has a taste of his temper. He lets fly orally - not violent in any way just his language.

What do you do Colin,it is very difficult, I know my hubby finds it very difficult sometimes, he comes in during a row, and then he blames me? then I am the one that feels guilty. I hope it gets better soon.

 

[giovanni_5060838]

Liz.

If my nieces are anything to go by, it would seem you were

lucky to have a daughter who waited till she was 17 to start

taking over....

They do say that once into there 20s, girls tend to quieten down

a little.

 

[LizCornwall]

Watch it Colin My daughter is training to be a Butcher. True

lol Regards Liz

 

[LizCornwall]

Liz.

If my nieces are anything to go by, it would seem you were

lucky to have a daughter who waited till she was 17 to start

taking over....

They do say that once into there 20s, girls tend to quieten down

a little.

O dear that means 3 more years of this. Regards Liz

 

[LizCornwall]

Hey Lisa just had a thought my daughter could chop our heads off, then your daughter can sort our brains out. hehehe Liz

 

[colin(bridgend)]

Liz swap your 17 year old daughter for my 26 year old son who is just completing an honours degree in construction management. He has informed his mother that as he cannot afford a mortgage being a mature student when he will meets up with a young lady he will bring her home and live with us. He also has his mother's temper and when things don't go right the air is black. blue and all other colours you care to mention. God help the woman who has a taste of his temper. He lets fly orally - not violent in any way just his language.

I have told my son to curb his language on many occasions and to have respect for both his mother and me as his parents. If he feels the need to use that language he should keep it for use outside the house when he is with his pals, etc. Personally I don't see the need for severe bad language.

As far as your husband siding with your daughter I think that is very unjust for a few reasons. Initially he does not know the reason for the row, secondly he is undermining your responsibility as a parent and thirdly he should back you up and support you not fight you. Do not feel guilty against your husband and daughter - that is the first step of admitting defeat. If you think you are right stand your ground.

As far as your daughter is concerned it is a phase and she will grow out of it as we went through a similar phase with our daughter probably when she starts work. She has now been married, divorced and has two "wonderful" children (our grandchildren). She is now a completely different person to her teanage days and has a very good job with the Welsh Assembley. We have the children every day after school and also through the school holidays as her ex husband is not always around and we feel for the grandchildren.

 

[cris_408518]

Very Clever girl Lisa, obviously doesn't take after her mother ;-).

She would probably have used quotation marks as well if she had posted her work ;-)

Liz.

If our eldest girl had been bullied or threw tantrums it would have been easy and to quote Lisa's "I'd pay serious money for someone to look after my daughter!!"

I think we would have paid treble time if we could have !

ps. Can we get a good deal on meat at your site then ;-)

 

[colin(bridgend)]

What a partnership - would beet that famous barber who killed his clients and passed them on to the butcher - Sweeny Todd.

Liz if your daughter is training to be a butcher I would let her have her way if she is wielding a butcher's knife when you are argueing. Serious now give her a year or two and she will grow out of it. At least she has a home and family to come home to and is not out on the streets mixing with the wrong crowd.

 

[LizCornwall]

I have told my son to curb his language on many occasions and to have respect for both his mother and me as his parents. If he feels the need to use that language he should keep it for use outside the house when he is with his pals, etc. Personally I don't see the need for severe bad language.

As far as your husband siding with your daughter I think that is very unjust for a few reasons. Initially he does not know the reason for the row, secondly he is undermining your responsibility as a parent and thirdly he should back you up and support you not fight you. Do not feel guilty against your husband and daughter - that is the first step of admitting defeat. If you think you are right stand your ground.

As far as your daughter is concerned it is a phase and she will grow out of it as we went through a similar phase with our daughter probably when she starts work. She has now been married, divorced and has two "wonderful" children (our grandchildren). She is now a completely different person to her teanage days and has a very good job with the Welsh Assembley. We have the children every day after school and also through the school holidays as her ex husband is not always around and we feel for the grandchildren.

Your completely right what you say, hubby should back me up really, but looking back my dad was the same with me funny enough, although it was me that started the arguments with my mum. It must be a Dad thing with girls. I am lucky in some ways she does not use bad language, she belittles me, so I feel worthless sometimes it is like bad language.

Good topic I must admit. Regards Liz (If you want to swap ok with me even though she might be scatter brained) A boy around might just do the trick hehehe Liz

 

[LizCornwall]

Very Clever girl Lisa, obviously doesn't take after her mother ;-).

She would probably have used quotation marks as well if she had posted her work ;-)

Liz.

If our eldest girl had been bullied or threw tantrums it would have been easy and to quote Lisa's "I'd pay serious money for someone to look after my daughter!!"

I think we would have paid treble time if we could have !

ps. Can we get a good deal on meat at your site then ;-)

Cris you will have to catch daughter when she is in a good mood, when she is my freezer is full up. Trouble is cris she has a heart of gold to the people on site here she brings all meat home for them and she never charges for it. Liz

 

[LizCornwall]

What a partnership - would beet that famous barber who killed his clients and passed them on to the butcher - Sweeny Todd.

Liz if your daughter is training to be a butcher I would let her have her way if she is wielding a butcher's knife when you are argueing. Serious now give her a year or two and she will grow out of it. At least she has a home and family to come home to and is not out on the streets mixing with the wrong crowd.

Yes you are quite right in respect she has a home, not like some poor children out their, I feel lucky. Yes you are right about the knives, I make sure I hide them away. I am too young to be cut up in pieces so Lisa's daughter can experiment on my Brain. lol Liz

 

[BrianStAlbans]

Following on from how successful some of our children were at school and have become as adults, this is an extract of a piece of work which I have copied and pasted which my daughter did when she first began studying brain surgery.

She was aged five at the time. I think the piece speaks for itself.

Brain surgery and Psychosurgery

How can brain-surgery alleviate psychopathologies?

In the middle ages it was widely assumed that madness (and migraines) were caused demons trapped inside a sufferer's skull. Their condition could be treated by releasing the demons. To this end patients were trepanned - that is they had holes cut into their skulls. Although we only know of the explanation dating back to the middle ages there is evidence that the practice goes back a lot further - Neolithic skulls with neat trepanning holes in them have been found. Trepanning still has its adherents today, although only in some fairly extreme 'new-age' cults, and not in the orthodox medical professions. It is a relatively safe operation if infection is avoided and causes few side-effects if, as is usually intended, no brain-tissue is damaged. It is also unlikely to have any direct therapeutic effect although there is the very slight possibility that it may have relieved headaches due to peripheral factors like muscle tension or over-pressure of fluid in the brain.

As we shall see, compared with some of the psychosurgical techniques conducted by the medical establishment in their tens of thousands trepanning looks rather benign. This must prompt us to ask what the justifications were for this expansion of brain surgery?

Justifications for brain surgery and psychosurgery

In my last piece of work I briefly explained some theories that psychological functions were localised in distinct areas of the brain. If function is anatomically localised and failings in a specific function lead to a psychopathology then it follows that the cause of a psychopathology might be anatomically localised. Surgery which destroys a region of the brain or disconnects it from the rest of the brain clearly cannot correct whatever is amiss in that region. It may, however, be the case that the signals produced by the dysfunctional region interfere with the normal operation of the rest of the brain. If this is the case then there may be a benefit to removing or disconnecting the dysfunctional region.

A good theoretical argument for surgical intervention therefore requires at least three crucial types of evidence:

Evidence for anatomical localisation of a psychological function.

Evidence that failure of this function plays a role in causing a pathology.

Evidence that the pathology can be alleviated by eliminating the faulty function in its entirety.

Perhaps unsurprisingly such evidence is hard to come by. A weaker justification for surgery might be that some sufferers of a pathology had localised areas of their brain damaged for other reasons, perhaps accident, perhaps some other planned surgery, and that after this damage their psychopathologies were observed to improve. There is not necessarily any theoretical justification for the surgery in terms of a biological cause for the psychopathology, although one might later be developed, but there is at least evidence that the patient's suffering might be alleviated.

In the light of these requirement let us examine how various applications of psychosurgery developed.

Ailments 'treated' by brain surgery or psychosurgery

A range of different psychopathologies have been treated at one time or another using surgery:

Schizophrenia and other psychoses

Aggressive and antisocial behaviour

Motor-disorders

Epilepsy

Surgical treatment of the first two classes of disorder are usually referred to as psychosurgery while the latter are regarded as brain surgery. The difference in terminology is meant to reflect the extent to which the surgery is treating an identifiable physical disorder as opposed to a psychological one.

(c) Bob Kentridge 1995,1996

 

[cris_408518]

Following on from how successful some of our children were at school and have become as adults, this is an extract of a piece of work which I have copied and pasted which my daughter did when she first began studying brain surgery.

She was aged five at the time. I think the piece speaks for itself.

Brain surgery and Psychosurgery

How can brain-surgery alleviate psychopathologies?

In the middle ages it was widely assumed that madness (and migraines) were caused demons trapped inside a sufferer's skull. Their condition could be treated by releasing the demons. To this end patients were trepanned - that is they had holes cut into their skulls. Although we only know of the explanation dating back to the middle ages there is evidence that the practice goes back a lot further - Neolithic skulls with neat trepanning holes in them have been found. Trepanning still has its adherents today, although only in some fairly extreme 'new-age' cults, and not in the orthodox medical professions. It is a relatively safe operation if infection is avoided and causes few side-effects if, as is usually intended, no brain-tissue is damaged. It is also unlikely to have any direct therapeutic effect although there is the very slight possibility that it may have relieved headaches due to peripheral factors like muscle tension or over-pressure of fluid in the brain.

As we shall see, compared with some of the psychosurgical techniques conducted by the medical establishment in their tens of thousands trepanning looks rather benign. This must prompt us to ask what the justifications were for this expansion of brain surgery?

Justifications for brain surgery and psychosurgery

In my last piece of work I briefly explained some theories that psychological functions were localised in distinct areas of the brain. If function is anatomically localised and failings in a specific function lead to a psychopathology then it follows that the cause of a psychopathology might be anatomically localised. Surgery which destroys a region of the brain or disconnects it from the rest of the brain clearly cannot correct whatever is amiss in that region. It may, however, be the case that the signals produced by the dysfunctional region interfere with the normal operation of the rest of the brain. If this is the case then there may be a benefit to removing or disconnecting the dysfunctional region.

A good theoretical argument for surgical intervention therefore requires at least three crucial types of evidence:

Evidence for anatomical localisation of a psychological function.

Evidence that failure of this function plays a role in causing a pathology.

Evidence that the pathology can be alleviated by eliminating the faulty function in its entirety.

Perhaps unsurprisingly such evidence is hard to come by. A weaker justification for surgery might be that some sufferers of a pathology had localised areas of their brain damaged for other reasons, perhaps accident, perhaps some other planned surgery, and that after this damage their psychopathologies were observed to improve. There is not necessarily any theoretical justification for the surgery in terms of a biological cause for the psychopathology, although one might later be developed, but there is at least evidence that the patient's suffering might be alleviated.

In the light of these requirement let us examine how various applications of psychosurgery developed.

Ailments 'treated' by brain surgery or psychosurgery

A range of different psychopathologies have been treated at one time or another using surgery:

Schizophrenia and other psychoses

Aggressive and antisocial behaviour

Motor-disorders

Epilepsy

Surgical treatment of the first two classes of disorder are usually referred to as psychosurgery while the latter are regarded as brain surgery. The difference in terminology is meant to reflect the extent to which the surgery is treating an identifiable physical disorder as opposed to a psychological one.

Plagiarism should have been your worry Lisa ;-)

No doubt Bob Kentbridge would be interested in a young girl claiming his work as her own.

 

[Viking1]

I'd pay serious money for someone to look after my daughter!!

Lisa

Hi Lisa

Neighdour likes rap music and all ower light seem to be on all the time and the TVs get left on and the back door is left open when we got the heating on. So when that electtrician as dun at your home send him to ours.

Mark

 

[Tech]

My son has never been a cause for concern. He could perhaps apply his talents more, he sometimes seems to coast through life.

Having said that, when an interest takes him, he is very committed, sports seem to be a particular strong point.

A decent boxer and a very good rugby player, so good that an England under twenty one coach has approached him already.

Add to that he is a serving member of a police force. A credit to us as parents and a worthwhile addition to the community.

Out of curiosity, Cris, who does your son play for, our two siblings may have met already?

 

[GillandMike]

So I might have another four to five years of this then?

Lisa

Oh yes. They improve enormously when they leave home and finally appreciate all you have been doing for them

 

[GrahamW]

Just to get back on topic, I remember reading somewhere about (I think it was one of the Caribbean Islands) where it was custom for the parents to pass over their offspring's to the grandparents immediately following the birth.

The grandparents then raised the children to adulthood and when they in turn had children their parents, now the grandparents took charge and so on.

The theory was that the young people of child bearing age could ensure that the bloodline continued without being bogged down with parenthood.

Personally I enjoy every minute with my kids and would not be without them for the world. My youngest, despite having grandparents within 4 miles of where we live, has never stayed with them in his 8 years of being, neither would I want him to.

 

[Tina3]

Hi All

My dad lives five minutes down the road, he is 65 in may .I work full time ,usually 3 12 hour nights a week, my dad comes and takes one to school and has the other for a couple of hours while i get some sleep, i then go and get the other girl from school !When I dont need him to have them he misses them so he is always here anyway !!!

I can easily afford to pay for someont to do this but .... it would kill my dad, he ADORES this time spent with them and would be DEEPLY upset if I said I didnt want him to do it anymore, he says they are what keep him fit,active,and glad to be a grand-dad!

This of course is great for me as I didnt have children to give them out to STRANGERS.

Tina x

 

[colin(bridgend)]

From the last few postings two things spring to mind. Firstly the wonderful holidays in the 1950s we spent with our Grandma at Neath - wonderful days - feather matress, the smell of breakfast wafting up the stairs, out the garden playing, around the village shop for sweets and pop - all magic memories.

Secondly the grandfather out celebrating the birth of his first grand child. When asked how it felt to be a grandparent his reply was great except for the thought of making love to a granny. Sorry ladies.

 

[lynne_374296596]

From the last few postings two things spring to mind. Firstly the wonderful holidays in the 1950s we spent with our Grandma at Neath - wonderful days - feather matress, the smell of breakfast wafting up the stairs, out the garden playing, around the village shop for sweets and pop - all magic memories.

Secondly the grandfather out celebrating the birth of his first grand child. When asked how it felt to be a grandparent his reply was great except for the thought of making love to a granny. Sorry ladies.

looking at it from the other end of the stick - bot my partner and i have mothers who dont do a thing with their grandchildren, 4get birthdays, never take them out just dont show an interest at all. i hope i am never like this with my two girls when they become parents and should they need me in an emergency with their children i will be there!! i am not saying i dont want to enjoy retirement, but i want to enjoy my grandchildren too - and because i never have a spare minute with my partner alone - will make sure my two girls do have some free quality time...