Merthyr Girls

[colin(bridgend)]

I dont think the following jokes will offend any one but if they do I apologise and can understand if Mr. Mod(s) should remove them.

A Merthyr girl goes to Social Welfare to register for child benefit.

"How many children?" asks the assessor.

"Ten" replies the Merthyr girl,

"Ten?" says the Welfare worker..

"What are their names?"

"Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne and Wayne"

"Doesn't that get confusing?"

"Naah....." says the Merthyr girl, "Its great because if they are out playing in the street I just have shout 'WAYNE, YER DINNER'S READY!' or 'WAYNE GO TO BED NOW!' and they all do it..."

"What if you want to speak to one individually?" says the perturbed Welfare worker.

"That's easy," says the Merthyr girl... "I just use their surnames"

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A Merthyr girl enters an adult shop & asks for a vibrator.

The man says: "Choose one from our range on the wall."

She says "I'll take the red one."

The shop assistant replies: "Try again that's the fire extinguisher."

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Q. What do you call a 30 year old Merthyr girl?

A. Granny.

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Q. Why did the Merthyr girl cross the road?

A. To start a fight with a complete stranger for no reason whatsoever.

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Q. What do you call a Merthyr girl in a white tracksuit?

A. The bride.

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Q. What's the first question during a Merthyr quiz night?

A. What you looking at?

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Q. What does a Merthyr girl use as protection during sex?

A... A bus shelter.

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Q. Two Merthyr people in a car without any music - who is driving?

A. The policeman.

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Q. What's the most confusing day in Merthyr?

A. Father's day

 

[Guest]

I hope no offence is taken by anyone, especially the feminists.

Colin, I assume you are from the delightful town of Merthyr, or you are likely to be dead meat. By the way what did your wife think of these comments, if she is a local lass?

 

[colin(bridgend)]

SL - I am Aberavon born and bred and my wife is from Pontycymer in the Garw valley and as you can see from my title on this forum we are now living in Bridgend. I have no connection with Merthyr what so ever - in fact I have never even been there.

 

[Guest]

Then if there is anyone who reads this, who is from that fair town, then it may be a good idea not to visit. You like to live dangerously.

 

[colin(bridgend)]

SL - I know no fear as Lord B. has been after me for some time if I dared to visit Hereford. So far I have been to that fair city a few times and he has not shown himself so I can only presume it is all talk. LOL

 

[Guest]

Is Merthyr the Welsh for Hereford then??????

 

[joeby]

Is Merthyr the Welsh for Hereford then??????

I dont think L B would like that S L ,he is very sensitive about Hereford , but most of the jokes are old Liverpool girl jokes replaced with merthyr

 

[Lord Braykewynde]

SL - I know no fear as Lord B. has been after me for some time if I dared to visit Hereford. So far I have been to that fair city a few times and he has not shown himself so I can only presume it is all talk. LOL

Just luring you into a false sense of security ;O)

 

[Lord Braykewynde]

I think Colyn ap Brydgynd used Merthyr because apparently it has the highest number of people in the UK on social benefits.

Like Joby, I saw it mentioning Liverpool but it could be used in relation to a lot of places in the UK now after 12 years of socialism.

 

[colin(bridgend)]

Even Hereford - now duck and hide after canceling my visit to Lucksall Caravan Site

 

[Soozeeg]

Even Hereford - now duck and hide after canceling my visit to Lucksall Caravan Site

Colin, sorry to hijack your thread, but are you now able to retrieve your emails?