More EU Interference in Our Lives

[Parksy]

I normally try to avoid these issues for fear of causing members to rant about politics but I'm afraid that this time they've gone too far!

Everything that we held dear seems to be disappearing fast and now our unelected masters in Brussels have decided to interfere in aspects of our lives over which they have no right.

I'm afraid that a new EU directive (EU/HK3456328/uk)is set to regulate and to change for ever one of our cultural icons and a mainstay of British servicemen and civilians alike during the dark days of the Second World War. It appears that everything these days has to be standardised.

To find out how this ruling will affect us at weddings, family gatherings, Christmas and New Years parties click here

 

[ValA.]

And here's how it will appply to everyday situations:

The New European Language!!!

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c." Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik emthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like fotograf" 20 persent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by " v".

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.

Ze drem vil finali kum tru.

 

[Chrisbee]

Exellent Val ( incorrect spelling no doubt)

 

[Soozeeg]

Steve, you are terrible, I was really worried that you'd had a knock on the head (or the, umm, stress of recent events had turned your mind!!). ROFL x

 

[Dustydog]

Lovely Val

Mein Dammen!

Prost

Dustydog

 

[thursdays child]

Val that is so clever and funny.I have sent it to my brother- in -law hope you don't mind the plagiarism.

TC

 

[Stephen_374341239]

Don,t you just love it when a plan comes together.