Love thy neighbor... but first make sure her husband's away!
Wife: Give me some money. I want to buy a bra.
Husband: Why? You have nothing to put in it!
Wife: You wear shorts!
HUSBAND: Shall we try a different position tonight?
WIFE: That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and f@rt.
Q. What do you call a zit on a blondes bum?
A. Brain tumor.
Q. What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
A. Pull the pin and throw it back.
Q. Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
A. Cause it said concentrate.
Q. What is a brunette between two blondes?
A. An interpreter.
Q. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
A. "Are you sure it's mine?"
Q. Why did the blonde throw bread crumbs down the toilet?
A. To feed the toilet duck!
Q. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A. A nervous wreck.
Q. What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
A. Anyone can roast beef.
Q. Where do you get virgin wool from?
A. Ugly sheep.
You should always give 100% at work...
12% Monday; 23% Tuesday; 40% Wednesday; 20% Thursday; 5% Friday
Q. What do you call a man with no arms or legs that can swim across a pool?
A. Clever Dick
Q. Why did the koala fall out of the tree?
A. Because it was dead.
Q. How many male chauvinist pigs does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None, let the ***** cook in the dark.
If you want your wife to listen and pay undivided attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
Wife: Give me some money. I want to buy a bra.
Husband: Why? You have nothing to put in it!
Wife: You wear shorts!
HUSBAND: Shall we try a different position tonight?
WIFE: That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and f@rt.
Q. What do you call a zit on a blondes bum?
A. Brain tumor.
Q. What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
A. Pull the pin and throw it back.
Q. Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
A. Cause it said concentrate.
Q. What is a brunette between two blondes?
A. An interpreter.
Q. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
A. "Are you sure it's mine?"
Q. Why did the blonde throw bread crumbs down the toilet?
A. To feed the toilet duck!
Q. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A. A nervous wreck.
Q. What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
A. Anyone can roast beef.
Q. Where do you get virgin wool from?
A. Ugly sheep.
You should always give 100% at work...
12% Monday; 23% Tuesday; 40% Wednesday; 20% Thursday; 5% Friday
Q. What do you call a man with no arms or legs that can swim across a pool?
A. Clever Dick
Q. Why did the koala fall out of the tree?
A. Because it was dead.
Q. How many male chauvinist pigs does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None, let the ***** cook in the dark.
If you want your wife to listen and pay undivided attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
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