Overprotective parent ?

[aimee_374529234]

Hi all,

We have just come back this weekend and have had numurous arguments with our 6 year old daughter about whether she can go to the park by herself.We were at Clumber park CC site and we could not see the park from our caravan so the answer was a resulute NO but there were many children about her age and younger just wandering around.

Am I being overprotective or not? we see lots of almost ferral children at weekends and never see their parents in fact this weekend two came to play only to find that their parents had taken the dog for a walk and were locked out.

Sorry for rambling but I would like to know your opinions about this.

Thanks Aimee

 

[Surfer]

I think you did the right thing because you love your child and are also considerate towards others.

 

[trucker]

You will know when your precious little one is ready to venture out and about by herself. If thats not yet you shoulds not give in. They do try and grow up far too quickly anyway.

Kevin

 

[Tapestry]

Hi

No you are not being an over protective parent. Clumber Park cc site is a lovely site for families, we have stopped many times with our three kids over the years. There is a sign close to cc site play areas, which states that children should be supervised by parents, I've also seen it on the site information leaflets. I've read it today on the web site for a cc site we plan to stop at over Easter. We supervise our kids in the play area, sometimes from the van or awning if next to the play area or one or both of us go to the play area if pitched away from the play area. We have a rule that if our kids want to go to their friends caravan, then they must let us know the pitch number, we will also wander down to check its ok with the other parents. If our kids are going round the block so to speak on scooters, we walk the route, know how long it should take and position ourselves so we can see them as much as possible, as far as our kids are concerned we are reading a book or magazine, in reality we are supervising them. If our kids break our rules they don't get to play in the play area etc, there is no discussion on it. We agree the rules before we set off from home. I caravanned as a child and my parents had the same rule. Its not about being killjoys etc but ensuring they are safe.

Hope this helps

Annette

 

[aimee_374529234]

Hi,

Thanks for your comments I don't want to be a killjoy as we go away for her to have fun and meeting new friends is part of that we are at grange CC site next weekend and hopefully we will be within sight of the playarea so a little more freedom can be given.

cheers Aimee

 

[Olive1]

I totally agree with everyone else, before buying a touring van we had a static for 10 years, 5 of them with children. We never let her go to the park by herself and she knew her limits. As we knew all the other parents she was allowed to go if an adult took them. Looking around there were always kids allowed to go by themselves but I do feel you should stick to your guns, you really never know who is hanging about. Our daughter is now 5 and very independent but we will not be allowing her to venture off by herself. We made the decision to buy a touring van to spend more time together and do things together so a walk to the park can be seen as that. Hope you have a good season.

 

[leefaz1797]

Fully agree with all of the comments that have already been made. We to have a 6 year old daughter who is at the same stage of wanting just a little more freedom and we do exactly as Annette, pitch close to the play area so it can always be seen from the caravan and walk routes and set boundaries from the outset. Its actually nice to watch our daughter playing from a distance.

 

[Lord Braykewynde]

Stick to your guns Aimee.

 

[BecknRob]

Afternoon Aimee,

I am the same as you, my Son is 7 next week and we never let him out of our sights when we go away.

We went to Sandy Balls last year for our 2 weeks, in our field he made friend with a couple of boys one younger and one older. he was under strict instructions not to leave the field where we were pitched, he had his freedom to go off and play but to always stay insight, although he strayed once and we could hear were he was.

When he was younger we "all" thought the other was watching him and he vanished. Luckily enough we were on a 5 Centres Caravan Rally and everyone was brilliant in helping looking for him. After 10 minutes we found him in my OH's Uncles van, the row behind ours, eating crisps and drinking orange juice with the uncles dogs either side of him.

To be honest i always go to the play areas with him as it gives me a chance to "pretend" to be a kid again.

Thanks

Rob.

 

[Glensmate]

Aimee,

I got a 9 year old, 6 year old (both girls) and a 4 year boy. They all love riding their bikes and going to the play areas. I don't even allow the nine year old to go to the park on her own. I'm conscious of being too over bearing especially with the eldest but at the end day they're my responsibility and I take it seriously.

Taking the park 'freedom' scenario I've allowed the eldest to think that she is not being constantly monitored by me by allowing her a bit of distance by allowing her to think that she is out of sight when in reality I know exactly where she is. It's a balance between 'nature and nurture' I think.

So, no, I wouldn't consider you to be overprotective just responsible. I must admit it does surprise me how many kids are left unattended. The other thing is that I'll don't trust anyone I don't necessarily mean weirdo's (but they're out there somewhere)but simple things like I don't trust people to keep the 5mph speed limit around the site etc. but don't get me started on that one!

 

[Lynn_374568394]

I think you should stick to your guns, wether we like or not the world today is not as safe as it was when we were kids

my children are all adults but we di take the grandchildren with us when caravaning, in those holidays we try to pitch near to the play area so we can let the kids go alone but are in our sight the whole time from our caravan or awning.....but when we dont have the kids with us we pitch far away from the play area for the sole reason of leaving those pitches for other parents who need to watch there children playing

 

[John_374568789]

HI Aimee.

I can relate to your concern. The way we've overcome it when we take our grandaughter is we bought a two way radio and contact her very very regularly. It's such a shame to deprive the youngsters from the social enjoyment of caravanning and a two way radio may alleviate some of your concern.

 

[LMH]

Hi Aimee

Six is too young for her to be out of your sight. We didn't even let our daughter sleep in the awning till she was about 12 and even then, it was with a damn good guard dog in the awning too! LOL!

Stick to your guns.

Lisa x

 

[Martin24]

How very simplistic people can be, perhaps one or two should try going it alone with a six year old and a dog. There are times when you have to do some things independently for practical reasons, Yes my daughter does sometimes take the dog for a walk from a CL (not on public highways)or ride her bike on site and no I can't see her from the toilet seat, yes in an ideal world she wouldn't be left unnatended but there are times when she doesn't want to hang around in the gents either!!! Yes in an ideal world she wouldn't be tucked up in bed alone while I take the dog for a comfort break before turning in myself, lets look at that one a bit more closely, would you like me to hang around the pitch so I can see in the windows for the dog to toilet or would you like me to go further affield so you can complain about an unattended child instead of the dog weeing on the pitch? Perhaps someone has a solution for those of us widowed with young children that still want to try and make their childrens' lives fun and for them to be able to enjoy themselves. We use two way radios and mobile phones to remain in contact at all times and yes I do worry about her but some of the people commenting on the subject want to try the real world before jumping on their high horses on techniques of perfect parenting.

 

[mary_374559004]

Hi all,

I'm glad this one has been raised, I havent been away yet in our van, but the thought of going away with our two little girls (only 2yrs at the mo) does worry me. They are the reason I got the van in the first place, but as many of you have said it is not as safe as it used to be. I do intend to take the girls away on my own on some occasions, so Im interested in what measures people take especially lone parents (much of what has been posted I have taken on board) It only takes one dodgy person or one speedy car - our children are precious and irreplaceable

 

[Lynn_374568394]

I have been on holiday with a child on my own and I made sure I was with my child at all times and yes I had a dog to walk

I used to take plenty of things to entertain my child when I had to be in the van and couldnt be with her on the play area, small things hidden from her when packing that could be fetched out as a suprise to keep her attention when I needed to cook tea ect

when the dog needed a walk we went together making a game of it and at night last thing I did lock her in the van while taking the dog, she was safer locked in the van asleep and the dog had a quick visit to the walk

I know its hard on your own but I did lose her once for 15 mins and the horror I was going thru and all the thoughts of what could be happening to her in a strangers van was a just to horrible for words, so yes its hard but I would never wish that on my worst enemy and after all even though the majority of people are nice on sites we dont really know these strangers and it only takes one person.....

 

[stephena]

I have been on holiday with a child on my own and I made sure I was with my child at all times and yes I had a dog to walk

I used to take plenty of things to entertain my child when I had to be in the van and couldnt be with her on the play area, small things hidden from her when packing that could be fetched out as a suprise to keep her attention when I needed to cook tea ect

when the dog needed a walk we went together making a game of it and at night last thing I did lock her in the van while taking the dog, she was safer locked in the van asleep and the dog had a quick visit to the walk

I know its hard on your own but I did lose her once for 15 mins and the horror I was going thru and all the thoughts of what could be happening to her in a strangers van was a just to horrible for words, so yes its hard but I would never wish that on my worst enemy and after all even though the majority of people are nice on sites we dont really know these strangers and it only takes one person.....

We go caravanning as a family and as such we do all activities together i would say it depends on the park and it depends on the child.

As much as i can sympaphise with Martin's sentiments what i will say is would you ever forgive yourself if something did happen?

 

[Parksy]

These decisions are always very difficult to make and a lot depends on the child itself.

Obviously any parent wants their children to be safe but unfortunately the wide world is full of risks so a balance has to be struck between wrapping your child in cotton wool and allowing them to develop their self confidence and risk awareness.

I shudder to think how I would have felt if my three sons had done the sort of things that I took for granted but having said that they did explore their boundaries and they have grown into personable young men who are relatively unscathed.

One solution which is available to single parents and busy couples alike is rallying with one of the two clubs.

I know that this is not everybody's cup of tea but one thing that we have noticed since starting rallying last year with our local d.a. is how well the children play together, the older kids seem to look after the younger ones and although there are always some rally goers who haven't got to know everybody yet the same set of d.a. members are normally in attendance.

As I said, my sons have grown now so as a couple without small children many of the rally children now know us anyway and a general eye is kept open by all to make sure that the children who play so happily together come to no harm.

Single parents often attend our rallies, we regularly see one single father who brings his small girls at weekends. They spend real quality time with their dad, they play for hours with their friends and even if the father happens to be 'otherwise engaged' nobody would stand and do nothing if heaven forbid one of the children was hurt or in any distress.

The ralliers take on a sort of 'communal responsibility', we don't really end up looking after other people's kids but theres always safety in numbers.

 

[aimee_374529234]

These decisions are always very difficult to make and a lot depends on the child itself.

Obviously any parent wants their children to be safe but unfortunately the wide world is full of risks so a balance has to be struck between wrapping your child in cotton wool and allowing them to develop their self confidence and risk awareness.

I shudder to think how I would have felt if my three sons had done the sort of things that I took for granted but having said that they did explore their boundaries and they have grown into personable young men who are relatively unscathed.

One solution which is available to single parents and busy couples alike is rallying with one of the two clubs.

I know that this is not everybody's cup of tea but one thing that we have noticed since starting rallying last year with our local d.a. is how well the children play together, the older kids seem to look after the younger ones and although there are always some rally goers who haven't got to know everybody yet the same set of d.a. members are normally in attendance.

As I said, my sons have grown now so as a couple without small children many of the rally children now know us anyway and a general eye is kept open by all to make sure that the children who play so happily together come to no harm.

Single parents often attend our rallies, we regularly see one single father who brings his small girls at weekends. They spend real quality time with their dad, they play for hours with their friends and even if the father happens to be 'otherwise engaged' nobody would stand and do nothing if heaven forbid one of the children was hurt or in any distress.

The ralliers take on a sort of 'communal responsibility', we don't really end up looking after other people's kids but theres always safety in numbers.

Hi all,

It was a few months ago that I first posted this and since then we have agreed that our daughter can go to the park alone,We check every few minutes without her seeing us and it has been a great success.We did try the walkie talkies but to be honest there are only so many time you can shout PRESS THE BUTTON!! and she is never out of earshot anyway.

We still wouldn't let her go on the bigger parks but the past few have been small and as I said even if we couldn't see her from the van we could always hear her.

Aimee

 

[aimee_374529234]

Oops posted in the comments by mistake!

Hi all,

It was a few months ago that I first posted this and since then we have agreed that our daughter can go to the park alone,We check every few minutes without her seeing us and it has been a great success.We did try the walkie talkies but to be honest there are only so many time you can shout PRESS THE BUTTON!! and she is never out of earshot anyway.

We still wouldn't let her go on the bigger parks but the past few have been small and as I said even if we couldn't see her from the van we could always hear her.

Aimee