PC Problems. U R not as bad as you thought.

[cris_408518]

There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a

long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This

is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed

from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to

say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently

suing

the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause".

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now

I know why they record these conversations!):

Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"

Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

Operator: "What sort of trouble??"

Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words

went away."

Operator: "Went away?"

Caller: "They disappeared."

Operator: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

Caller: "Nothing."

Operator: "Nothing??"

Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"

Caller: "How do I tell?"

Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"

Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"

Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"

Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"

Caller: "What's a monitor?"

Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.

Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"

Caller: "I don't know."

Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"

Caller: "Yes, I think so."

Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.

Caller: "Yes, it is."

Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"

Caller: "No."

Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

Caller: "Okay, here it is."

Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into

the back of your computer."

Caller: "I can't reach."

Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"

Caller: "No."

Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way

over??"

Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's

because it's dark."

Operator: "Dark??"

Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is

coming in from the window." Operator: "Well, turn on the office light

then."

Caller: "I can't."

Operator: "No? Why not??"

Caller: "Because there's a power failure."Operator: "A power...................................... A power

failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the

boxes

and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??"

Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up

just

like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought

it from."

Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"

Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."

Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"

Operator: "Tell them you're too f*%king stupid to own a computer!!!!!"

 

[lolly_5087162]

having read through this, I have just picked myself up from the floor laughing.......... absolutely fantastic!!!

Lolly x

 

[cris_408518]

What more could a human being want.

Making a fellow member of the race smile and laugh

I am just one of lifes humble servants, here for your pleasure ;-)

Have a good day Lolly

 

[cris_408518]

Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop".

Customer: "OK".

Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?".

Customer: "No".

Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"

Customer: "No".

Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until

this

point?".

Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'".

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Tech Support: "OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you

see the 'OK' button displayed?"

Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"

 

[lolly_5087162]

well thank you cris!

weather here is awful, been for intense physio this morning on my ankle, (it hurts now!!), hope the day gets better as I have another job interview this afternoon........

keep the funnies coming, I need them to keep me going!

Lolly x

 

[cris_408518]

OK, good luck Lolly on the job front.

If it is the formal shake hands and sit down interview.

Remember firm hand shake and the nice smile and eye contact.

Sit nice and straight backed, bum into back of chair and try to keep hands away from one onother.

Body language and all that Cr1p, hands apart shows confidence and openess etc !!!!

Remember that you are OFFERING them your skills etc and loyalty.

You value loyalty and like to be a team player !!!!!! ;-) ;-)

You hope they will offer you the opportunity to prove your skills and earn and be rewarded with loyalty and respect from them and fellow employees for all your mutual benefits.

Eye contact with theperson speeking to you and look to the others eyes as you reply smiling at all times

Imagine of the interviewers as being naked or with fruit headress's so you retain that smile and a sense of power over them ;-)

Good luck for the job.

As if they offer further training and advancement, they want keen people if it is that sort of job.

 

[lolly_5087162]

Hi Cris

Are you my guardian angel who has been attending interviews with me? I always do as you have just said, but I don't seem to be getting anywhere! no idea where I am going wrong!

I am nervous for the first time today, I think it's because I am expecting not to get the job - having been turned down so many times of late - and it's a big company interview today with 4 people other than me present (gulp) help!!!!

I will let you all know later how it went.

Lolly x

 

[cris_408518]

Hi Cris

Are you my guardian angel who has been attending interviews with me? I always do as you have just said, but I don't seem to be getting anywhere! no idea where I am going wrong!

I am nervous for the first time today, I think it's because I am expecting not to get the job - having been turned down so many times of late - and it's a big company interview today with 4 people other than me present (gulp) help!!!!

I will let you all know later how it went.

Lolly x

I now know where you are going wrong!

All Naked AND with a Fruit Headress's on ;-)

Works every time