It is with tongue in cheek that I point out a weakness in political correctness and suggest a new green tax.
I have noticed when walking in the countryside that stiles disadvantage the physically impaired and therefore are totally politically incorrect, so, I suggest that all stiles be ramped at a gradient of 20%.
Their use would be free to Blue Badge holders who would access the stile by inserting a swipe card into a slot but a small charge would be made to all other users, which I would think could be in the region of £3 to £5. Anyone found by-passing such a stile by climbing over an adjacent wall or crawling through a hedge would be liable to an on the spot small fine in the region of £75 - £100. The enforcement of this fine would be the responsibility of a newly appointed minister who would set up a new department in the centre of London, which of course by its very location would be eminently convenient for access to the countryside, and would create employment for hundreds, if not thousands, of civil servants. Employment would also be created for another thousand or two or three by way of Stile Wardens who would tour round all these stiles on motor scooters enforcing the law, in a similar way to Traffic Wardens. It goes without saying of course that MP`s, their wives, children, grand children, cousins etc. would be exempt from this toll. All monies raised by this `tax` would be ploughed back, literally, into the countryside in the same way that all car road tax, parking fines and speeding fines raised are invested in road improvement.
My other suggestion is a `Green Tax` on the use of the countryside in the form of `Pay as you View` tax.
The tax would be levied on a sliding scale of charges depending on the beauty of the view. Views would be classified as Ordinary, Very Nice and Beautiful with corresponding charges of something in the region of £5, £10 and £20 per person respectively. There would of course be a surcharge on sunny days but no extra charge for breathing the fresh air.
Again, another government department would be set up to classify each and every view with a minister appointed to run it and classify each view. An ideal candidate that comes to mind to fulfil this appointment is an ex Home Office minister.
There would be no time limit on how long you looked at any particular view but if you came back later in the day to have a second look you would of course have to pay again.
This would be very simple to implement. The only requirement would be that everyone would have to have a Black Box inserted somewhere in their body by keyhole surgery (at their own expense of course). When you arrived at a viewing point you would insert a key through this hole to activate the device which would transmit a signal to a computer in a government department. This in turn would debit your bank account with the amount payable on a daily basis.
Policing compliance with the requirement that you had turned the key would fall upon the National Park Wardens. They would have to take an NVQ course to ensure they were sensitive, discrete and understanding when inspecting these keyholes to ensure the key had been turned.
Don't laugh, it might happen.
I have noticed when walking in the countryside that stiles disadvantage the physically impaired and therefore are totally politically incorrect, so, I suggest that all stiles be ramped at a gradient of 20%.
Their use would be free to Blue Badge holders who would access the stile by inserting a swipe card into a slot but a small charge would be made to all other users, which I would think could be in the region of £3 to £5. Anyone found by-passing such a stile by climbing over an adjacent wall or crawling through a hedge would be liable to an on the spot small fine in the region of £75 - £100. The enforcement of this fine would be the responsibility of a newly appointed minister who would set up a new department in the centre of London, which of course by its very location would be eminently convenient for access to the countryside, and would create employment for hundreds, if not thousands, of civil servants. Employment would also be created for another thousand or two or three by way of Stile Wardens who would tour round all these stiles on motor scooters enforcing the law, in a similar way to Traffic Wardens. It goes without saying of course that MP`s, their wives, children, grand children, cousins etc. would be exempt from this toll. All monies raised by this `tax` would be ploughed back, literally, into the countryside in the same way that all car road tax, parking fines and speeding fines raised are invested in road improvement.
My other suggestion is a `Green Tax` on the use of the countryside in the form of `Pay as you View` tax.
The tax would be levied on a sliding scale of charges depending on the beauty of the view. Views would be classified as Ordinary, Very Nice and Beautiful with corresponding charges of something in the region of £5, £10 and £20 per person respectively. There would of course be a surcharge on sunny days but no extra charge for breathing the fresh air.
Again, another government department would be set up to classify each and every view with a minister appointed to run it and classify each view. An ideal candidate that comes to mind to fulfil this appointment is an ex Home Office minister.
There would be no time limit on how long you looked at any particular view but if you came back later in the day to have a second look you would of course have to pay again.
This would be very simple to implement. The only requirement would be that everyone would have to have a Black Box inserted somewhere in their body by keyhole surgery (at their own expense of course). When you arrived at a viewing point you would insert a key through this hole to activate the device which would transmit a signal to a computer in a government department. This in turn would debit your bank account with the amount payable on a daily basis.
Policing compliance with the requirement that you had turned the key would fall upon the National Park Wardens. They would have to take an NVQ course to ensure they were sensitive, discrete and understanding when inspecting these keyholes to ensure the key had been turned.
Don't laugh, it might happen.
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