Pure Comedy Gold

[Parksy]

I'm not normally a devotee of Saturday night tv, I have seen X factor while getting ready to *** out for a couple of sherbets but last night because it was freezing cold the walk to the local (and back after the aforementioned liquid refreshment) didn't seem quite so attractive.
I decided to stay at home and share a bottle of wine with Herself in front of the tv instead.

I didn't know that all along I'd been missing the rich vein of (unintentional) comedy that is Strictly Come Dancing! For those who have never been forced to watch it the programme consists of some 'celebrities' being taught to do 'dancing' by professional dancers and being judged by a panel of 'experts'.

The absolute high point of my evening was when that music from the film about Titanic came on. The dance floor was covered by swirling thick 'mist' which I suppose was meant to represent the North Atlantic complete with a papier mache 'iceberg'.
There was a tight trousered bloke presumably 'drowning' in the middle of it all and then the camera shot widened to show a sort of a balcony (an Atlantic bridge?) with steps either side at the top of which was - Anne Widdecombe!

The music carried on and the Widdy Wobbler trundled down the steps with the natural grace and elegance of your average hod carrier to collide with the poor 'drowning' bloke in mid 'ocean' who hadn't managed to swim off in time because his trousers were too tight.
The next couple of minutes were pure comedy gold!
Tight trousers heaved the Widdy Wobbler this way and that as though his life depended on it while she clung onto him like a storm tossed sailor (The bosun by the look of her grim facial expression) and I wondered if as a Member of Parliament she was trying to bring our attention to an endangered species, the Narwhal whale for instance.
At one stage she managed to get behind him and I feared the worst when her hands started to wander up and down his body with a couple of 'near misses' on his life preserver but no, perhaps it was some sort of artistic interpretation of an attacking octopus?

The music reached it's conclusion and tight trousers slipped below the 'waves' (don't blame him, I'd have abandoned ship as soon as she loomed over the horizon) while the Widdy Wobbler bobbed off into the distance toward Canada, probably to wrestle a few bears.
Classic!
The other highlight of the show was the comment made by the Italian judge with the exaggerated accent to Patsy Kensit which I dare not repeat on this family oriented forum.

I nealy choked on my After Eight mint (scrounged from the birthday reserve of Herself) because I was howling with laughter.
I wonder if there will ever be a chance of the Widdy Wobbler 'dancing' to a tune sung by Wagner from X Factor?
Now that would go down better than the Titanic!

 

[Soozeeg]

Careful, Steve, you're maligning my (currently) favourite programme!! (I lead a very sheltered life

).

Ann Widdecombe is without a doubt the worst 'dancer' the programme has ever seen. Her partner (the tight trousered hugely long-suffering comic genius that is Anton du Beke) deserves not just a medal, but an OBE for gamely and bravely coming up with the routines every week, never mind putting up with her acerbic comments and flat refusal to do anything remotely resembling a flirty move in even the latin dances. How he got her to put her hands, albeit for a 'blink and you'll miss it' split second, on his chest is anybody's guess. Last night's comic Titanic routine had Steve and I crying with laughter too.

But enough is enough - it's a dance competition, there are some absolutely fantastic dancers in it this year, and it's time people stopped voting for that god-awful woman simply because she makes people laugh (well, either that or cringe with embarrassment). If she were to be in the final, at the expense of another TALENTED dancer, I'd be absolutely aghast. The prospect of her actually winning doesn't bear thinking about.

 

[DeliDave_]

We love watching it but take the opposite view to Soozeeg and think if people vote for her then best of luck(although we dont vote anyway)If it was a true dance contest she shouldnt have been asked to enter,its entertainment and seeing Craig say he would give her one (so as to speak) always cracks me up.I dont think it should run over to Sunday though and also hope to see the back of Gavin tonight

 

[Parksy]

The trouble is that Anne Widdecombe has never posessed the good manners or the self awareness of John Sargeant who although never a dancer would at least make some attempt to dance and who retired when the joke had gone far enough.
How the judges can pass comments with a straight face on the efforts of the other contestants who at least appear to be trying hard when Anne Widdecombe is clearly making no effort to actually dance is beyond me. She ought to have the grace to leave the contest to the dancers now that she's made us laugh and she's earned a few quid. She will pocket even more on the back of all the publicity and we will see even more of her on tv from now on unfortunately. I suppose that the producers of the show are simply glad of the revenue generated from those gullible enough to vote, why would they care?
The X Factor is the same, I've seen and heard better than Wagner when those who are full of the joys stumble their way out of pubs at chucking out time.
He was shooed in above contestants who could sing him off the stage only in order to generate income because it was hoped that viewers would spend more money voting against him.
The wheeze is starting to backfire because of the well publicised internet campaign intended to rub smug Simon Cowells nose in it by ensuring that the most awful 'singer' wins.
Having said that one would have thought that by now the Irish guy could have learned the how to pronounce Wagner's name, what a lack of respect and consideration.
Cheryl Cole had a go last weekend with her 'council house' diatribe, the fear of a Wagner win is starting to show and the judges want him gone.

 

[emmerson]

Parksy, I don't have a TV, but reading your post re "Widdy Wobbler" has made me cry with laughter!

I'll have to go and watch it at my son's next week.

 

[OmOnWeelz]

'P'Widdy' as she's become known has always came across as a well principled politician and she seemed to stick to her personal beliefs. We pay for the Beeb to entertain us and if the Public vote P'Widdy every week then the Beeb are getting the entertainment value to pay her fee. I attended dance classes years ago and put in a lot of months effort and P'Widdy 's dancing looks to be that of a multiple world ballroom champion compared to mine

.
P'Widdy has also knocked the stuffing out of the rude nancy boy judge who has made some very digusting comments about contestants in past shows, she's slapped him down good and proper and if we have to have his sort of rudeness on the box Anne is worth a Kings ransome and every vote she gets.
Chris

 

[forestgump]

rod stewart we are saling comes to mind or are we drowning its alla lot of cr,,,,p saturday tv is a load of dogs muck i would rather play conkers with my annal warts.

 

[Parksy]

I see that she somehow managed to survive the sinking and has clambered back aboard for next weeks show.
Not so Wagner from the X factor who will be coming soon to a bingo hall near you. I've never seen anyone look as relieved as Simon Cowell since the inventor of x lax discovered it's unique medicinal properties.
If you are planning a break at any of the large commercial caravan parks with clubhouses in the coming months be very afraid! Wagner has a good chance of being there! No, not on stage singing. My guess is that he'll be flipping burgers at the fast food takeaway or cleaning the toilet blocks.
Smug Cowell made a little speech about 'those who wanted to derail the show by keeping Wagner in' conveniently forgetting that it was one of the judges who put Wagner through in the first place and not the public. What a hypocrite!

 

[forestgump]

colin from yorkshire will be gutted wagner is out i here he even got the hair doo its all the rage in york you know.

 

[LADA]

Hooray - Wagner/Vagner is finally gone!!!
Just a pity young Katie had to go too - should have been Mary 'Sorry this checkout is closed' who went with him.
Never mind I'm sure they'll make a few quid out of it and Mary can get back to Tesco before the Chrismas rush starts.
Now we just need to get rid of the boring boy bland (sorry band) and be in for a good final showdown between Matt and Rebecca.

Do I watch it I hear you ask?

Well I may have caught a few glimpses over the past two months but wouldn't dream of being hooked on such trivia,,,,,