Serious pyscological help needed before next year!

[Alison_5133771]

Please help, I have a terrible thing to confess and I don't know how to tell my hubby! After our first year of caravanning and having a great time in the summer hols, how do I tell my hubby that I have sort of gone off the idea of caravanning??????

Before you start ranting, I don't know why or whats happened as I really enjoyed it this year but the thought of sharing a one room caravan with hubby and 3 kids next year fills me with horror! We've just bought a new car to pull it with as well!! All I can think about is mud, wind, rain, dirt and him getting mad trying to put the awning up and all that lot to put up with again(I know, exagerated slightly) and I don't want it... and I'm fed up with people calling me a 'tin-tenter'!! Why does a man suddenly become a raving monster when he's messing with the caravan?

By the way, I have only just had the birthday where your life is supposed to start so I suppose it could be hormones (but its not the ones I want!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Now I've had that moan and got it off my chest I feel better, thank you very much. Now to start thinking happy thoughts of sunshine, a beach, travelling overnight so we get there early....

No disrespect to all you probably very happy caravanners from a 40 year old, fed up, depressed female caravan owner who thinks she seriously needs a toyboy. (I know this has nothing whatsoever to do with this forum but it does say 'get things off your chest')

Alison

 

[CliveV]

I am happy to apply for the job of "Toy Boy" but am wary of the Trade description Act.

But what about a weeks trial?

I can usually get a smile but not always for the right reasons.

 

[Tina3]

Hi Allison

I,m sure your hubby would understand if you approach it the right way, how old are your children?? if they enjoy it ,it would be a shame to deny them,why not keep the van and let hubby go for weekends with them,and you have a beach holiday once or twice a year, if you dont enjoy it then forcing you to go would just make everyone miserable and lifes to short for that !

Tina xx

 

[botty]

hi alison what sort of sites have you been to this year was it the sites that put you of or the weather are your kids old enough to sleep in thee awning was there plenty to do on the site to keep them occupied there is a great site www.bysladestouringpark.co.uk is great for kids you can pitch your caravan nr to the play park and there is a huge play area and you can see them from caravan and you could have some space if the kids have plenty to do caravanclub sites are great for famliys with nice clean faclities

do you think it is the dark nights are drawing in and winter is coming that you are feeling the way you are

hope you get over this as caravanning can be great fun and have some cheap hols

from sue

 

[johnstafford]

Hi Alison, you have nothing to worry about .........much !!!

First of all it was my big 40 this year as well( so the toy boy thing is out) and so far it's been well pretty crap.

Listen caravanning is not all soggy feilds windy days etc. etc.

It seems like you have just had a bad start, givr it another year , book different sites, plan your trips away carefully to avoud stressfull situations.

The awning thing..well it's a marriage breaker you are not alone, all us men mumble and rant on when trying not to look like a complete novice puttting the awning up.

Let us know what you decide, if all else fails, well you never know he may be thinking the same thing but afraid to tell you.......majorie proops eat your heart out!!!

 

[Alison_5133771]

Clive V - Thank you very much for the offer, I'm starting to smile already.

Tina - My kids are girls aged 7, 10 and 12 and if I'm totally honest, I don't think the eldest was totally happy this year. Perhaps it would help her if I suggested she take a friend next year, fortunately the car will take another. If she is happier then so will I be hopefully. Its just the hubby now - maybe I'll try him on valium before we go or is it prozac that calms you down?.

Alison

 

[Tina3]

Clive V - Thank you very much for the offer, I'm starting to smile already.

Tina - My kids are girls aged 7, 10 and 12 and if I'm totally honest, I don't think the eldest was totally happy this year. Perhaps it would help her if I suggested she take a friend next year, fortunately the car will take another. If she is happier then so will I be hopefully. Its just the hubby now - maybe I'll try him on valium before we go or is it prozac that calms you down?.

Alison

Prozac prozac prozac and a bit of red bull, you'll have to chisel the smile of his face, !!!! my eldest is now 16 and we found 12 a funny age,not kids but not adults, he/she would probably be happier with a mate their own age !

Go with how you feel, hubby would probably get just as narky at airports,delays traffic jams ,baggage etc etc....

try it one last time and if you still not happy then dont bother,like I say life is too short !!

Tina x

 

[Tina3]

Prozac prozac prozac and a bit of red bull, you'll have to chisel the smile of his face, !!!! my eldest is now 16 and we found 12 a funny age,not kids but not adults, he/she would probably be happier with a mate their own age !

Go with how you feel, hubby would probably get just as narky at airports,delays traffic jams ,baggage etc etc....

try it one last time and if you still not happy then dont bother,like I say life is too short !!

Tina x

sorry for the he/she, I just noticed you did put girls, she too will now be raging with hormones !!! poor you !!

 

[GillC1]

Alison,

I can understand you don't like the mud and the wind and the rain etc. But have you thought of venturing down to France, the sites suite kids of all ages and depending how far down you go you are guaranteed better weather than the uk.

 

[MikeP]

Another point - do you really need to take an awning? If you don't need to sleep in it and the weather is OK, then why not try life without it? We have never taken an awning abroad, and it's great to set up the van in about 10 minutes, then be free to do as we please.

I know that being a minimalist doesn't suit everyone, but we love it.

 

[wayne_5097681]

Maybe you shuold try using the van for long weekend's or the odd couple of nights away closer to home. Which is what we tend to do, to be honest i dont think i could spend to weeks in the van and i know the wife could'nt and we dont have any kids just the dog. For our summer break we tend to rent a cottage or something simalar, its just a change.

 

[Val & Frank]

Hi Alison,

I can understand the awning bit with hubby being stressed, we haven't bought one yet and I'm stressed !!!! Every time we walk around a site, my wife says "oh that awning looks nice", and I shudder at the size of the thing she is looking at. So don't despair summer of 07 is looking good already. I am driving our 4x4 all over the country to try to speed up this Global Warming thing. Don't politicians know that us caravanners need some Global Warming and think what it will do for the Tourist Trade as well.

Take care and look forward to summer

Val & Frank

 

[gypsy]

As for the Awning problem it does get easier, we do it together, and have a routine of putting it up, so I know where to be at what stage of erection, it takes only 20 minutes to put up, then I leave Hubby to peg round on his own, while I have a whisky. do not give up yet, you will find a routine that suits you, throw everyone out of the Van while you get yourself organized,LOL, I do.if you feel the Van feel crowded,take a drink and sit in the Awning, again I spend more time in the Awning than the Van.

 

[CliveV]

Hi Alison,

I can understand the awning bit with hubby being stressed, we haven't bought one yet and I'm stressed !!!! Every time we walk around a site, my wife says "oh that awning looks nice", and I shudder at the size of the thing she is looking at. So don't despair summer of 07 is looking good already. I am driving our 4x4 all over the country to try to speed up this Global Warming thing. Don't politicians know that us caravanners need some Global Warming and think what it will do for the Tourist Trade as well.

Take care and look forward to summer

Val & Frank

WELL THANKS A LOT FRANK!! - There's me trying my hardest to to tell every one that a 4x4 is the best thing since sliced bread and then you go and let out our BIG secret that we aim to have Birmingham in the Tropics by 2015.

For goodness sake - please keep quite on this from now on.

 

[CliveV]

WELL THANKS A LOT FRANK!! - There's me trying my hardest to to tell every one that a 4x4 is the best thing since sliced bread and then you go and let out our BIG secret that we aim to have Birmingham in the Tropics by 2015.

For goodness sake - please keep quite on this from now on.

Sorry - "quiet" on this from now on!

 

[ProfJohnL]

Hello Alison,

I firmly believe that a family holiday should be an experience that allows all members of the party enjoy the experience. Perhaps this does involve some small compromises, but a major fear or dread should be taken seriously before the holiday is planned.

If you keep quiet about it, it will fester in your mind, and it will become a point of conflict - that can ruin the holiday for you and others in the party, or even threaten the stability of a relationship.

I hope that your relationship with your partner is strong enough to allow you to discuss the issue. Do this as soon as possible .It may be that after a constructive discussion you may identify the particular issues that cause you anguish, and there may be practical ways to resolve them. You never know your partner may secretly have the same concerns!

Perhaps arrange a meal and invite some close friends who also caravan? Bring your concerns to the conversation, there may be some good ideas from others that could help. Perhaps this might develop into a joint holiday idea where both families can support each other.

Whilst it may not be to everyone's taste some of the best holiday's I have had have been with my two brother in-laws and their families all at the same camp site each helping each other, sometimes the boys and girls all separating and doing different things, sometimes all together.

Best of luck

 

[Tapestry]

Hi

I'm a mum of 3 kids ages 7, 8, 10 and I'm just a bit older than you. Have you thought your daughter might, herself be having an attack of the hormones kicking in? Caravanning is something different for her, out of her comfort zone, her normal.

We have been caravanning for 6 years now, my second time round, I did it as a child. My kids really like caravan holidays and so do we. We decide between us which area we are going to visit and which sites we will aim to stop on. The kids are asked to do a list of the things they would like to do while we are away. We use the internet to research the area. We have as a matter of course nail polish, remover etc stored in the caravan, for the times when my daughter and myself paint toe nails etc. She has 2 brothers so its a girly thing we do.

You are not the first and won't be the last to have issues with putting the awning up. We have our poles marked with coloured tape, eg all those marked red slot together. We have a porch awning for weekends away, but have been away without putting either the porch or main awning up and managed ok. The awning basically gives you another room, somewhere either you or the kids can escape to. The day we arrive on site we have food that is easy to prepare. We carry cold, well chilled drinks, both alcoholic and non alcoholic. We all sit down with a large cold drink after putting the awning up. The kids all have little jobs to do. We leave some games, CDs and DVD's etc in the caravan, the kids then bring some bits to play with suitable for sun and rainy days. We use caravan club sites, my sister who also has 3 kids stops on a mixture of club and commercial sites. We both make sure the sites have a laundry room in case we need it. My kids heard on the radio last year that camping was the 'new cool', so the fact they go away so often means they are 'cool' in their eyes and so are the kids they meet on holiday. If rain and wind bothers you, watch the weather forecast and consider cancelling the weekend away. One of my sons has autistic spectrum disorder and loves the feel of wind in his hair and rain on his skin, so cancelling due to the weather isn't really an option for us. Hope you feel more postive about your hols for 2007 soon. Annette

 

[Tony A.]

I am happy to apply for the job of "Toy Boy" but am wary of the Trade description Act.

But what about a weeks trial?

I can usually get a smile but not always for the right reasons.

Clive v you old dog , and I had the impression you where an old stuffed shirt, how wrong can a fella be.

Tony A.

 

[LMH]

Hi Alison

Well, what a dilema!

If I were you, I'd try and give it another go. I know it's quite depressing going away and the weather is bloody awful, can relate with you regarding mud, rain etc. Kids etc, husband although I'm sure he's lovely, they can get on your nerves at times.

My daughter is 14 and I really think it does 'help' if they have a friend to pal around with. Even if they are just in the awning talking about boys and bands etc, it does alleviate the stress factor I've found.

I bought my caravan because I was fed up of going to horse fairs and paying loads of money for b&b's or hotels, I couldn't take the dogs either and it was a case of either leaving the old man at home with the dogs, or putting the dogs in kennels, (quite expensive). I have to say that buing a caravan was the best thing I ever did, I had my first van written off when I was towing it and I have just replaced it with a luxurious van. We have had some great holidays, with many more planned.

If you don't tow yourself, could you get your husband to tow it to somewhere locally and you and 'the girls' spend a weekend away and have a great laugh? I've done that on numerous occasions, I tow it myself but me and 'the girls' have had some great laughs, it's a great de-stressor.

I'm over that special age (by a few years) and life's brilliant. Don't go down the toyboy road !! (LOL) When you get to our age, a man's a man and a boy's a boy.

Good luck to you whatever you decide. I personally think most people go through patches such as yourself and it all works out in the end.

Regards

Lisa

 

[parker1158]

Hi Alison

I know exactly where you are coming from, might I suggest you may have overdone it in the first year. It is often the case that when people take up a new hobby they O.D., for instance gym membership is a typical example, how many people join a gym go every day and get fed up in the first two weeks.

We tend to use our caravan as a secondary holiday 'tool'. We tend to have a couple of separate weeks in the winter / early spring abroad in the sunshine and use the van for a few long weekends and a week in the summer.

Its important to realise there are all sorts of caravaners some will happily spend every weekend and several weeks a year in their vans (and more if they could) others are happy with a couple of weekends and the odd week. I think you need to find your happy medium and not feel you have to use or rely on the van all the time.

We have children of 12 and 7 and the best move we ever made was to leave the tele at home (Apologies for bringing up the tele subject). We found if we had the tele the kids stayed in the van and got under our feet, without the tele they go out and play, make new friends and tire themselves out.

Mud and rain! have you thought of getting a porch awning. We have used one this year when we have not required the full size one , and found it invaluable.

On the subject of awnings, I remember our first time, it took about three quarters of an hour, now we can have it up in fifteen/ twenty minutes. I must admit I have never been able to understand why folk find them so intimidating, perhaps the CC should run a 'how to erect your awning' course.

I think overall though do what you want to do and don't feel you have to follow some pre-determined route.

Stick with it

Martyn

 

[Fubar]

Hi Alison,

here is my take on things. Get a DVD player for the back of the car to keep the kids amused on the journey, that way they are not bored when they ARRIVE. Go to sites where there are plenty of other kids for them to mess about with - if they are happy, you will be more happy.

when your husband goes to put up the awning, get out of his way - he has 3 kids, they can help him!

make sure you set aside time for the things you enjoy doing on holiday as well as the kids.

and finally, dont be too quick to give up the caravan! you may find the alternative is still not what you're looking for, and something else is at the root of your unrest...

try to realise that your husband MAY have spent a lot longer than you think thinking, planning, and dreaming about owning a caravan with his family's best interests at heart - you dont want to totally shatter his dreams!

I'm sure though, if you are convinced it's not for you, there are ways of making him believe giving it up is HIS idea!

good luck whatever you decide.

Mark (",)

 

[Viking1]

Alison

Owe eldest dues not come away with use a lot in the caravan come to thick of it I can not thick of the last time he came.

He stops with mothering law.

I am going to be 40 nest year and I not looking towards it as well.

Mark

 

[Lol1]

Sounds like you need someone to tell you to give it all up, Alison.

So here goes, give it up, Alison.

Feel better now that you have a positive direction to attune to?

OK, now for the spanner in the works.

Give it up now while caravan prices are low and you will loose a small fortune. Along with trading in your car because you don't need it any more for towing, you may find you could possibly need a second job to pay off the loss.

Leave it till next year to sell and prices will be better but your caravan will be older, you loose again.

You could still give it up because traveling with a suitcase is great fun, especially at bus and train stations (picture forming yet?)and a delight through airports.

Then again, when you get to your accommodation all will be bliss. Everything will be clean and tidy with no irritations at all. All hotels/statics are like that, so I'm told. Don't forget your neighbors, if you ever meet them, six inches away from your bedroom wall. They don't put those drinking glasses in the room for nothing you know!

Who on earth calls anyone a tin-tenter? Whoever it is, all I can say is ignorance must be bliss for them, but its more likely a heavy dose of jealousy on their part.

Onto the thorny subject of awning erections (careful spelling there), as a man (be quiet Lisa) I can understand his mood. There are those that prefer to get on site, relax and put everything together after a leisurely cup of tea and a snooze, no rushing in other words. There are those that can't relax (myself included) until all the setting up has been done. With this in mind, think about the fact that hubby has just towed the caravan all the way there (Stop shouting, I know women tow as well) which to begin with, can be stressful and on top of that he then has to do battle with the awning.

So feel sorry for us, we need it. The good news is that this phase of caravaning doesn't last long and soon you will be making camp together in harmony.

You do know that you can take your caravan abroad don't you?

If what you want is sun, sea and (lets not go there) something, you can do that with the van too. Even the journey becomes part of the holiday. It need not be expensive, a little planning should aid with that and you get the best of both worlds.

Give it another year, choose your sites with care and see how you feel. If however you still feel the same, tell your husband that your having an affair with someone younger, your leaving him and he might find that he needs to visit a health clinic. After you have put him in the recovery position and he's starting to come round, he will ask if it's true? At this point you can say "No, but I fancy a change from the caravan next year, love". Works every time, apparently.....

 

[LMH]

Sounds like you need someone to tell you to give it all up, Alison.

So here goes, give it up, Alison.

Feel better now that you have a positive direction to attune to?

OK, now for the spanner in the works.

Give it up now while caravan prices are low and you will loose a small fortune. Along with trading in your car because you don't need it any more for towing, you may find you could possibly need a second job to pay off the loss.

Leave it till next year to sell and prices will be better but your caravan will be older, you loose again.

You could still give it up because traveling with a suitcase is great fun, especially at bus and train stations (picture forming yet?)and a delight through airports.

Then again, when you get to your accommodation all will be bliss. Everything will be clean and tidy with no irritations at all. All hotels/statics are like that, so I'm told. Don't forget your neighbors, if you ever meet them, six inches away from your bedroom wall. They don't put those drinking glasses in the room for nothing you know!

Who on earth calls anyone a tin-tenter? Whoever it is, all I can say is ignorance must be bliss for them, but its more likely a heavy dose of jealousy on their part.

Onto the thorny subject of awning erections (careful spelling there), as a man (be quiet Lisa) I can understand his mood. There are those that prefer to get on site, relax and put everything together after a leisurely cup of tea and a snooze, no rushing in other words. There are those that can't relax (myself included) until all the setting up has been done. With this in mind, think about the fact that hubby has just towed the caravan all the way there (Stop shouting, I know women tow as well) which to begin with, can be stressful and on top of that he then has to do battle with the awning.

So feel sorry for us, we need it. The good news is that this phase of caravaning doesn't last long and soon you will be making camp together in harmony.

You do know that you can take your caravan abroad don't you?

If what you want is sun, sea and (lets not go there) something, you can do that with the van too. Even the journey becomes part of the holiday. It need not be expensive, a little planning should aid with that and you get the best of both worlds.

Give it another year, choose your sites with care and see how you feel. If however you still feel the same, tell your husband that your having an affair with someone younger, your leaving him and he might find that he needs to visit a health clinic. After you have put him in the recovery position and he's starting to come round, he will ask if it's true? At this point you can say "No, but I fancy a change from the caravan next year, love". Works every time, apparently.....

Lol, I have to take my hat off to you for that posting. Dam good piece of writing.

 

[CliveV]

I am happy to apply for the job of "Toy Boy" but am wary of the Trade description Act.

But what about a weeks trial?

I can usually get a smile but not always for the right reasons.

I find the flesh is willing but the mind is weak (but I may have got that the wrongway round.

As for shirt stuffing - if it is in any way connected to shirt lifting then I kindly decline your offer.

:0)