Smokaloo Co. Ltd.

[colin(bridgend)]

There appears to be problems within the company at senior management level. Certain individuals seem to want to steel the glory but let me warn each and every one of you that any attempt of an overthrow of power will not be tolerated and may result with instant dismissal from the company.

As eveident I bought the company from the liquidators and therefore am the MD. Other individuals will be appointed according to their merit/qualifications/enthusiasm and 100% committment.

I thereofore as MD will not accept any form of so called power/glory hunters in MY firm.

 

[emmerson2]

Ah, but have got a mop & bucket? Or is Liz a bit dislexic, and refers to her mop & bucket by it's initials, but gets it slightly wrong? ie, signs herself MD, when what she means is MB?

 

[colin(bridgend)]

Ah, but have got a mop & bucket? Or is Liz a bit dislexic, and refers to her mop & bucket by it's initials, but gets it slightly wrong? ie, signs herself MD, when what she means is MB?

Emmerson - I feel that with your knowledge of industry and life and also remembering that you are a fellow Welshman (at least living in God's chosen country) that you are more deserving than a mere mop and bucket and that your position within the company could be on the managerial board.

 

[Lee.C]

Thanks for the new overalls Liz, came today by Fed-Ex. The mop& bucket came via UPS, but did hear recently that Fed-Ex had bought UPS and they were thinking of calling themselves Fed-UP!!

Lee.C

 

[colin(bridgend)]

Thanks for the new overalls Liz, came today by Fed-Ex. The mop& bucket came via UPS, but did hear recently that Fed-Ex had bought UPS and they were thinking of calling themselves Fed-UP!!

Lee.C

very good Lee - although we will not have that kind of talk in this company (see previous posting regarding derogatry comments)

 

[LizCornwall]

Hiya Lee, LOL Fed-UP!! Fed-Ex was being sold to Fed-UP but with my contacts had to Fix-UM!! LOL. Glad the overalls are ok, next on my agenda is emmerson ummmm not sure how to handle this one possibly a site visit might be in order here LOL.

As for Colin he keeping a very low profile at the moment same for Plotts but understable with all them nappies - I think now is the time to introduce a mini loo? maybe call it the ....... which we could somehow attach to the baby's bottom with straps over the shoulders, any suggestions for a name for this new product, perhaps chrissielizzy who was a employee of the company would like to rejoin us.

Liz MD formally MB LOL

 

[colin(bridgend)]

A name for the junior version of Smokaloo could be Poopaloo or possibly Playaloo. The unit could be designed with a coin operated video showing cartoons whilst they are perched on the throne. Just a few suggestions

Regards

Colin (SENIOR MD TO LIZ MB)

 

[emmerson2]

Colin, just what managerial position do you have in mind?If you are MD, and Liz is MB, what's left for me? And just remember that I already chair the Royale Owner's Club, so could not possibly accept anything less than that.

Could the new junior version be called the "Nappyloo"?

 

[emmerson2]

Liz, with regard to your site visit, I'm in the Lakes next month, then in South Wales in August,Yorkshire in Sept,Notts and Cheshire in October, Home in November(but don't bet on it!),Norfolk in December,Scotland Dec/Jan.Take you're pick!

 

[Guest]

Judging by some of the comments made, I think

'Loo Pee Loo' would fit the profile for junior company name

 

[LizCornwall]

Liz, with regard to your site visit, I'm in the Lakes next month, then in South Wales in August,Yorkshire in Sept,Notts and Cheshire in October, Home in November(but don't bet on it!),Norfolk in December,Scotland Dec/Jan.Take you're pick!

I think South Wales in August then I can visit on our Colin at the sametime, so plenty of time to practice with the new equipment, you might even be as good as me by then he he he he

 

[LizCornwall]

Judging by some of the comments made, I think

'Loo Pee Loo' would fit the profile for junior company name

I like the name euro, hope your not take the p*** LOL hah hah hah

 

[colin(bridgend)]

Emmerson - how would the position of Financial Director suit you. There would be the same status as myself as MD. In effect the two of us would be jointly responsible for the running of the company with subordiante departmental leaders answerable to either or both of us.

 

[colin(bridgend)]

Emmerson - if Liz is coming to South Wales with her mop and bucket I have this vivid vision in my head of a Nora Batty type of woman chasing the men off by hitting them with her mop. What a nightmare.

 

[emmerson2]

Colin, I'll only consider that post for a salary of around

 

[emmerson2]

Colin, I'll only consider that post for a salary of around

 

[Chrissylizzie]

Glad to see that my secretarial services are still needed. Of course during the intervening period I have been head-hunted several times so I need to give it some thought. One of my main jobs is also being grandparent for the second time to a 13 week old granddaughter so I am in fact, having a very hands-on experience in the 'poo-pee-loo' department which I think stands me in good stead for this post. In view of the recent news about decline in final salary pensions this would be of considerable importance when making my decision as a mop and bucket would not be much of a golden handshake.

 

[LizCornwall]

Hi Chrissielizzie, I think you are getting your Poo-pee-Loo's and Loo-Pee-Loo's a bit mixed up LOL, congrulations bytheway

nice to see your post on here, us girls have got to stick together with the likes of Colin and Emmerson wink,wink. I thought girls have the right to vote nowadays LOL.

Emmerson Nora Batty wink,wink, your into wrinkled stockings then LOL.

 

[colin(bridgend)]

Chrissylizzie - first of all congratulations to you and more so to the proud parents without whome there would be no baby for you to gain experience for the product. I think you could team up with Plotter and between the two of you design a first class product. Secondly welcome to the company, my only concern is there will be TWO Liz's on the company payroll. Just hope that you will not side with "her" and give us senior managers any major problems.

Now for the original Liz - it was I who made the inference between yourself and Nora Batty - I think an apology is in order to our newly appointed finance director Emmerson. Regarding females having the right to vote it is acceptable within company rules for any female who is employed within a managerial/responsible position within the company to not only vote but to have their say at board meatings whenever they so desire. This is not, and never will be, a sexist company whereby females are kept at a lower status/rank to their male colleagues. All male/females no matter their cread, colour or religion will be treated as an equal and hopefully as a private "family" style of business it will be first name terms except when a client is present etiquette will be expected.

 

[emmerson2]

Liz, I was just getting into my wrinkled stockings when Colin interfered!

Colin, what, no fight over my renumeration package? I thought I'd have to fight for the lolipop!

I've just been up to the loft and ressurrected my old abacus, so I'm ready for when the orders come flooding in.

 

[colin(bridgend)]

Is your abacus battery powered or will we be requireing Liz to pedal her bike to generate the power. Regarding your remuneration package the lollipop will be as an incentive to ensure there is always a profit in the company. Any losses and the lollipop treat will be forfieted.

 

[emmerson2]

The abacus is finger-power only, Colin,and it's a Welsh one, so those foreigners can't understand it.

 

[ProfJohnL]

Found in an impromptu search the following editorial escaped onto the WWW.

Business correspondent Senna Kott

Editorial Headline

"Smokaloo Goes down the pan"

In a surprise move leading comfort company Smockaloo Co Ltd, filed for bankruptcy in the high court yesterday. The company has seen its market share hit and a fall in the deposits from its leading customers.

High Court Judge Lord Izal who latter revealed his judgment from his chambers, unusually added a personal note to the papers. He appointed Dunmore, Flushit & Phew to act as Receivers for the failed company.

It transpires the sudden run on the companies shares may have been precipitated by a predatory takeover bid by a competitor. The companies Solicitors Crouch and Heave from Boggington; announced they had received a takeover bid for Smokaloo by Thomas Crapper Sanitary Systems PLC, their main competitor, but as the company were digesting the offer the bottom dropped out of the market.

Senior City bankers were engaged for several hours as they sat down to analyse the situation. There were different views expressed as they left. Some said they needed to stand up and face the wall, other reported that the motion had been hard to pass, and other were washing their hands of the situation. Leading financiers were preparing to pick up the pieces that had hit the fan.

In a statement issued on behalf of the company Crouch and Heave said the bid was an unprovoked attack on the company and believed to have been a deliberate move to devalue the companies stock. As a result the companies assets were over extended and their stock piles were did not smell so sweet.

The bid has been refereed to the Monopolies and Mergers Commission for fear that it is not in the public's interest. If it were to go ahead it would certainly mean that some facilities would merge and other closed and that would be great inconvenience to the public.

Contrary to expectation the MD of Smokaloo Co Ltd, has raised enough capitol to buy the collapsed company from the liquidators. In a eleventh hour deal a new company Smokaloo PLC has risen from the bog. Though no official comment has been made, Insiders in the business suggest that Smokaloo's new found cash has come from deal struck with venture capitalist group including Lord Brakewynd, and Sir Fartinghamm Smythe.

A spokesman from Thomas Crapper vehemently denied that the takeover bid had been designed to topple Smokaloo, but it had been part of a long time strategy to expand their business. Its unfortunate that the recession set in which he speculated had left Smokaloo's owners rather exposed.

Within hours of the announcement, the Receivers have published a list of creditors who will as a result of the sale of the business receive some of their deposits back.

Unsecured Creditors are urged to record their name s and deposits at:

http://www.practicalcaravan.com/newforums/fm_messages.asp?FO=205&FM=455457

 

[ValA.]

Fab posting, John L!!!

I wonder what the protagonists have to say for themselves now?

 

[Guest]

The directors of the company decided some time a go to head off an aggresive take over bid by moving the business assets and the cutting edge R&D department.

Businees analysts Bodgit & Leggit formed a new international marketing comapany: Smokaloo International(Truro)Ltd is now world wide marketing company and wholy owned subsiduary of Smokaloo Anguilla International based in the West Indies Tax Haven.

Assets and R&D and manufacturing are part of the sister manufacturing company Loo Pee Loo Co Ltd for the UK market and Eire.

The directors of the new company should be making further press releases in the near future and Smokaloo International(Truro)Ltd and Loo Pee Loo Co Ltd have now franchised the brands servicing department throughout the USA and other markets down under.

The off shore tax haven move has protected the brand from recent and any future take over attempts.

Smokaloo - Onwards and Upwards.

Amazing that no one realised that they were re-financing a worthless company and that the Smokaloo trade name and designs and all intellectual property had been moved to the new holding company.

I can't stop any longer as I have more mopping to complete.