Thought about killing the husband today!!!!!!

[Diane1]

We took delivery of our new Bradcot Potico XL Awning. While i am day off and Ades out of the house, i thought i would try and have a go at putting it up properly. So out in the front garden i lay out every pole and fitment and connection in the correct place ready for assembly.(Can't do it in the back garden cos the dogs would insist on helping). While i am laying out the canvas Ade arrives home..... he can see what i am doing..... gets out of his car and starts moving poles and turns and says if you had waited for me i would have done it properly! As you all know i have stopped smoking and have the stress level of a flea at the momment. Bitting my lip i continue what i am doing and standing on a chair and threading the canvas, Ade meanwhile is moving more poles and starts to put up the awning.when he had finnished he said,"see i told you it was wrong", by now having had enough i let go of the central pole a let the whole lot colapse on top of him. He then sormed off in the house.

In the next 10 Mins i had that awning up and looking good.

Some men just don't know when to give up, he then comes back out and insists on helping take it down!!!

 

[lolly_5087162]

Men! say no more

Lolly x

 

[Viking1]

you too got no need to go of on one as you girl are as bad.

Mark

 

[Lol1]

"Men, say no more"?

Strange because women can't say enough.......

Now if someone would kindly point me toward them thar hills, I'll be on my way.........

 

[Diane1]

Sorry to have to point this out lads,but they did a series of tests to see if the theory that women talk for longer periods than men. It seem that this is not true, Also they found women use about 16000 words per day and men 15900 a day, and this being the case as women are more polite.

These test were done by the royal college of medicine in London are where based over two years.

So it is a myth.

 

[Lol1]

I'm sure it is, Diane.

 

[Lol1]

But personally, I would have said " tests, fibs, women talk less, nuff said, done"

 

[Diane1]

Don't forget i am a woman on the edge!!!!!

 

[Lol1]

True, I'll get me coat......

 

[Royston]

Hi Diana,

reading how you managed to erect a brand new awning with some distraction, proves that you have conquered the need for a cigarette under stress well done.

Royston

 

[Chrissylizzie]

Of course women talk more than men. We have to say the same thing more than once so they understand!!

 

[Lord Braykewynde]

Of course women talk more than men. We have to say the same thing more than once so they understand!!

Pardon!

 

[ThePlotter]

ChrissyLizzie,you are wanted on 'overweight caravanners' with your work on the Smokaloo,you have be away a long time and your employment is in jeopardy!

 

[trucker]

Crissylizzie, I think thats called nagging!!!

Kevin H ~0()

 

[LizCornwall]

When God made man he forgot to add a brain.

 

[Lord Braykewynde]

I've posted this before but I think some of you ladies need a reminder considering the way this post is going.......

We always hear the rules from the female side. Now here are the rules from the mens side.

These are OUR rules.

Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don't try to change that.

Learn to work the toilet seat, you're a big girl now. If it's up put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us moaning about you leaving it down.

Saturday equals sports. It's like the moon and the changing of the tides. Let it be.

Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

Crying is blackmail.

Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work.

Strong hints do not work.

Obvious hints do not work.

JUST SAY IT.

YES and NO are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

Come to us with a problem if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

A headache that lasts seven months is a problem. See a Doctor.

Anything we said seven months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after seven days.

If you think you are fat you probably are. Please don't ask us.

If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways make you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done, NOT BOTH. If you already know how best to do it then do it yourself.

If and whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

Christopher Columbus didn't need directions and neither do we.

If it itches we scratch it. That's what we do.

If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing" we will act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying but it's just not worth the hassle.

If you ask a question that you don't want an answer to expect an answer that you don't want to hear.

When we have to go somewhere anything you wear is fine. Really.

Don't ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as sex, sport or cars.

You have enough clothes.

You have too many shoes.

I AM in shape. Round IS a shape.

 

[LizCornwall]

Ok for men only:-

I will only say this the once

Firstly toilet seat in the down position after use, try to aim in the toilet not on floor or walls.

Listen to what us Ladies say in the first place, we do not like to keep repeating ourselves until it sinks in.

T.V Watch educational programmes true to life, not silly men kicking a football around a grass pitch trying to kick the ball in a big net.

Try aiming your dirty washing in the net basket provided, after all, all the watching of football should give you a good idea.

When erecting any kind of equipment i.e. awnings etc please listen to us wives, we have a good idea where poles will fit correctly.

At the end of the day, I do not want to say "I told you so".

Liz

 

[Chrissylizzie]

ChrissyLizzie,you are wanted on 'overweight caravanners' with your work on the Smokaloo,you have be away a long time and your employment is in jeopardy!

Sorry Plotter, I was head-hunted. Besides, there were far too many letters being dictated and so no filing being done etc. etc.I am keeping an eye on things though so you never know, I may be back.

 

[ThePlotter]

Liz , glad you are back but women do not need to aim!

 

[ThePlotter]

Liz, you should be thinking now that as only men need to aim that you need to look at the design of the Smokaloo in order that it is not a problem .

 

[johno1]

I've posted this before but I think some of you ladies need a reminder considering the way this post is going.......

We always hear the rules from the female side. Now here are the rules from the mens side.

These are OUR rules.

Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don't try to change that.

Learn to work the toilet seat, you're a big girl now. If it's up put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us moaning about you leaving it down.

Saturday equals sports. It's like the moon and the changing of the tides. Let it be.

Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

Crying is blackmail.

Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work.

Strong hints do not work.

Obvious hints do not work.

JUST SAY IT.

YES and NO are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

Come to us with a problem if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

A headache that lasts seven months is a problem. See a Doctor.

Anything we said seven months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after seven days.

If you think you are fat you probably are. Please don't ask us.

If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways make you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done, NOT BOTH. If you already know how best to do it then do it yourself.

If and whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

Christopher Columbus didn't need directions and neither do we.

If it itches we scratch it. That's what we do.

If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing" we will act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying but it's just not worth the hassle.

If you ask a question that you don't want an answer to expect an answer that you don't want to hear.

When we have to go somewhere anything you wear is fine. Really.

Don't ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as sex, sport or cars.

You have enough clothes.

You have too many shoes.

I AM in shape. Round IS a shape.

you are so right, I could'nt have said it better myself!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[LizCornwall]

I totally agree,aiming is the anwser here, I little more thought and consideration on behalf of men here, problem solved.

 

[colin(bridgend)]

I was told many years ago that there is only one worse thing than a brainy woman - it is a brainy woman who can talk. They should have their brain cells and vocal cords taken out at birth.

That will no doubt get a few replies and before any one heads to Bridgend I will be ducking and diving all over the place. I will be disappearing without any trace until the flack has calmed down hehehehe

 

[Diane1]

Colin i will see you tomorrow. Diane, ...... or maybe friday for deisel fillup!

 

[colin(bridgend)]

Having just returned from holiday and having almost an empty tank of fuel I will be needing some tomorrow as I have to visit the mother in law. Therefore Diane I will be visiting Tesco's for fuel as long as it is opened and not end up like Port Talbot store.