Blonde Joke

Jun 7, 2005
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It was Postman Pat's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same villages and towns.

When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family there, who all hugged and congratulated him and sent him on his way with a gift cheque for £50. At the second house they presented him an 18-carat gold watch. The folks at the third house handed him a bottle of 15-year old Scotch whisky. At the fourth house he was met at the door by a blonde in her lingerie. She took him by the arm and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced. When he had had enough they went downstairs, where the dumb blonde fixed him a full English breakfast:

Bacon, eggs, sausage & tomato with freshly-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a £5 note sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge. "All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the five quid for?" "Well," said the dumb blonde, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day and that we should do something special for you.." "I asked him what to give you. He said, F* ** him. Give him a fiver." She smiled and said, "The breakfast was my idea."
 
Mar 14, 2005
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A man comes home from work to find his wife in bed with a tramp!

Naturally he demands an explanation and the wife duly complies.

She said,

"This poor old tramp knocked at the door asking if I had any food I wasn't using as he hadn't eaten for days, so I gave him that stew you didn't eat."

"I saw how tattered and torn his clothes were so invited him in to warm up and to maybe find an old sweatshirt of yours he could wear."

Well I found him a jumper you didn't use anymore, and some shoes you didn't use anymore and a warm jacket you don't use anymore."

That doesn't explain what I came home to though does it?", says the husband.

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"No that's true", she said. "But then as the tramp was leaving, he turned to me and asked if there was anything else you didn't use anymore!"
 

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