Christmas Cake recipe

[Parksy]

Here's one of my favourites

1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
lots of nuts
1 bottle Brandy
2 cups of dried fruit

Sample the brandy to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the brandy again. To be sure it is the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.

Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the brandy is shtill OK.

Try another cup .... just in case. Turn off the mixerer.

Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

Pick fruit off floor.

Mix on the turner.

If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose with a sdrewscriver.

Sample the brandy to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who careshz.

Check the brandy.

Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table.

Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.

Greash the oven and wee in the fridge.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.

Don't forget to beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the brandy

Fall into bed.

CHERRY MISTMAS

 

[Soozeeg]

Were you watching me when I made that, Steve? LMAO

 

[DerektheSecond]

Here's one of my favourites

1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
lots of nuts
1 bottle Brandy
2 cups of dried fruit

Sample the brandy to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the brandy again. To be sure it is the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.

Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the brandy is shtill OK.

Try another cup .... just in case. Turn off the mixerer.

Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

Pick fruit off floor.

Mix on the turner.

If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose with a sdrewscriver.

Sample the brandy to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who careshz.

Check the brandy.

Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table.

Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.

Greash the oven and wee in the fridge.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.

Don't forget to beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the brandy

Fall into bed.

CHERRY MISTMAS

Actually after the second bottle the recipie is quite good

 

[forestgump]

heres mine aldi £3 job done

 

[Gagakev]

Parksy-------My OH thinks Ive finally lost the plot, sitting here with laptop open CRYIN ME EYES OUT with LAUGHTER
I can hardly see the keys------------ absolutly brilliant

 

[LADA]

Parksy - The best laugh for a long time.
Read it over and over and still was doubled up - just my kind of humour!

 

[Countrylass]

Love it Parksy, but would it work with sherry? Can't stand brandy.