dog death

[Parksy]

Scotch Lad, I never saw your comment because I was away.

You're entitled to your opinion as is everyone else on this forum.

I'm sure that you've witnessed things that many of us never will or would want to and I undestand your line of reasoning.

This is a caravan forum and the thing that imo atraccts the majority of members to this forum is our shared pastime.

From what I've seen many caravanners love and own dogs, I don't own one but I accept that among our fratenitiy dog ownership is a major issue.

I champion free speech although some might not agree with that statement. They are free to say so, it wont hurt me.

With freedom comes responsibility.

There are things happening in this world that I'd like to change and imho a caravan forum post on which a member mourns the death of a cherished pet is not an appropriate place from which to influence people or to try to bring about changes to events outside our remit.

One of my responsibilities on this forum is to ensure that the feelings of members are not arbitarily hurt by thoughtless comments.

The responsibility of members who wish to enjoy any degree of free speech that this forum may offer is to comply with my and other moderators wish that they cause no offence.

Thank You

 

[LMH]

That's funny SL, maybe people who don't know you might get a better picture of you when they read this, copied and pasted from another forum.

This relates to Patey's bad news about his dog:

------------------------------------

I've deleted the next section of Lisa's post which was copied and pasted from another forum.

The copied section related to comments that Scotch Lad made on another forum which were deleted by forum admin.

The admin on the forum to which I refer has acted honourably and in good faith and the comments made by Scotch Lad elsewhere detract from the original topic of this thread.

I have therefore removed the copied portion of Lisa's post.

Parksy (Moderator)

-------------------------------

You deliberately posted whatever you did which was subsequently deleted just to stir up things on here, and upset Patey further. Nice aren't you?

Lisa

 

[Parksy]

I also saw that post by SL on another forum. I wasn't best pleased by it I must admit. Stone throwing can sometimes be dangerous.

 

[davedee]

Thanks for enlightening us Lisa.

The nasty bast**d.

Dave

 

[Colinn]

Well, well, if the guy had felt really strongly about this, then there might be a miniscule degree of understanding - but now we can see it was all for a bit of fun at Patey's expense. This is about the lowest thing I have ever heard - and he talks about man's inhumanity to man...

 

[Dustydog]

Look here, I've been away for 3 weeks and poor Patey has lost his dog. Then pandemonium. mods doing the deletions SL standing his ground etc. Come on guys Patey has just lost part of the family, a daughter or son. No difference. The grief felt is terrible.

Patey ,

We lost our Dusty, the springer spaniel in July 2006. Life without her was unbearable and purely by fereaks of co-incidences we ended up with two puppy Springers 3 weks later. Weird but our lives were on hold and going for Kizzy and Holly didn't seem right. Two years on Dusty'd ashes are still on the mantlepiece and the other two , just 2 years old are delightful and so good and well behaved. We have worked hard on them for two years and the pleasure they give is lovely.

More importantly and again pure co-incidence they are distantly related to Dusty.

Patey , th egrief you fel is well understood by anyone who has a dog. Get another pooch asap and give it the love you gave your last dog. A man's best friend.

Cheers

Alan

 

[martin.]

I'm not happy with you Damian mod, it takes a lot to make a 37 year old railway worker cry, but you managed it, well done, lovely poem.

We've got a bullmastiff and they like all dogs become a part of your life, we lost one 5 years ago and it devastated us, but like eveyone does, you get another one and we know that some day we will have to go through it all again, but I know it will be worth it.

 

[Damian]

I'm not happy with you Damian mod, it takes a lot to make a 37 year old railway worker cry, but you managed it, well done, lovely poem.

We've got a bullmastiff and they like all dogs become a part of your life, we lost one 5 years ago and it devastated us, but like eveyone does, you get another one and we know that some day we will have to go through it all again, but I know it will be worth it.

Martin, sorry, but it does the same to me every time I read it.

We too had a Bullmastiff and a Harlequin Great Dane, and it was on the passing of the Dane that I was sent that poem, but it applies equally to both of them

http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c10/Brecon1/Hercpose.jpg
http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c10/Brecon1/DSCF0051.jpg
and here they are.

 

[Lord Braykewynde]

Patey I'm really sorry to read about your loss, my heart goes out to you and I know the pain you must be going through.

I didn't see SLs post but from the gist of peoples replies and his own response I can guess most of it.

I'm usually on the same wave length as SL although not always having the same opinion but in this instance SL you were 100% wrong, this thread wasn't the one to point out mans inhumanity to man. If you had felt so strongly about it post a new topic and I'm sure most would have agreed with you.

Many years ago, before we had dogs of our own, my father used to say that when his Scamp died they would have to dig a big enough hole for him as well. I used to think he was nuts, afterall, it was only a dog. Although Scamp was old my father never had to go through the grief and pain of losing him because he developed a brain tumour and died before Scamp.

We first had a dog 14 years ago and got a second 6 months after that. Sadly our second one, Misty, died suddenly at 6 years old of an unknown cause that attacked her organs and it was only then that I knew true grief. I cried for weeks, but always in private. We had her cremated and I've left instructions for her to be buried with me. I couldn't even bring myself to look at her picture for 6 months and it took almost 6 years before I could look at videos of her. We did get another mini Schnauzer 2 years later but we still have our oldest who is 14 now and my fathers words now make sense because when she goes I'll be in pieces.

 

[Wendy-Norfolk]

Patey, I know just how you feel, it's awful when you lose a beloved pet!

When we had to have our first dog put to sleep, we just couldn't come to terms with the idea of being dogless, so three days later, we "rescued" an ex show/breeding Springer, who had been living in a kennel for four years! He was a complete hooligan, but never the less, it helped us over our loss! Unfortunately, because of interbreeding he came with many problems, and we had to have him put to sleep when he was 12, our daughter had presented us with a puppy two years earlier, so that made that loss easier to bear!

BTW, we've still got our first Springers' ashes, in a pretty inlaid wooden box. We couldn't bear to scatter them, although we did for the second one! They've been sitting there for 15 years!!

 

[Gumbo]

What you are blind to is that grief is about personal loss and sadness, and its not for you or anyone else to judge as to whether it's justified

I have seen SL post, and don't agree or disagree with it.

What I do find disturbing is peoples need to share their grief ?? I never posted when my granny died, a much loved individual. I never felt the need to "share our grief " I just don't understand why people feel the need to on a Caravan Forum.

Loss is a personal individual thing .

 

[Auvergne]

Evening Frank,

I can't quite understand why you feel it disturbing for people to share their grief. You say you've never felt the need to "share OUR grief" which suggests you have support of some kind or someone to talk to.

How do we know that Patey is not a single person and may have made friends on here? The mere fact that Patey posted the information implies there was a need to offload in the hope of finding someone to connect with, what's wrong with that?

The post was under Chit Chat and as far as I can see, anything goes. Its generated enough posts for goodness sake.....

Val.

 

[Gumbo]

You are correct Val "ours" in this context meant the whole family. I see your point even though I do tend not to agree with it. I don't think anyone is so lonely that they need to share their grief with a bunch of strangers on a Caravan Forum. The reason why I don't think you should post on personal matters is that you may be offended by some of the responses. Therefore making a sad situation more difficult. Just an opinion that's all, not looking to fight.

 

[Colinn]

I think, Frank, there is some value in sharing grief, so long as it's not OTT. For one thing, it will be of some consolation for Patey to know that other people understand the grief felt. But it's also helpful to others - who have posted on this subject - to know that they're not alone in harbouring such strong feelings of their own about, of all things, pets... Enough to make grown men cry...

Just a shame that some people can sink so low as to get their kicks out of making fun at other people's distress, and worse, bragging about it...

 

[Lord Braykewynde]

To show compassion to others is a excellent quality in a human being, whether one shows it person to person, in a forum or by phone while hanging from the lamp shade.

Some see showing care and compassion as a weakness, it's not a done thing because it's not macho, especially admitting you cried over a lowly animal. I know which kind of person I prefer.

 

[Lord Braykewynde]

Evening Frank,

I can't quite understand why you feel it disturbing for people to share their grief. You say you've never felt the need to "share OUR grief" which suggests you have support of some kind or someone to talk to.

How do we know that Patey is not a single person and may have made friends on here? The mere fact that Patey posted the information implies there was a need to offload in the hope of finding someone to connect with, what's wrong with that?

The post was under Chit Chat and as far as I can see, anything goes. Its generated enough posts for goodness sake.....

Val.

Well said Valerie, you're 100% right :O)

 

[ProfJohnL]

Hello Patey and all who have lost cherished pal or family member. I offer my heart felt condolences.

I strongly expect that everyone who contributes or reads this forum will at some time have lost a family member, or a pet, so I guess I'm writing to everyone.

Grief is an important part of coming to terms with a bereavement, but there is no universal agenda to be followed. Some will need support from friends and sometimes strangers, others can cope on their own.

I hope that the jottings from other members have provide some comfort to you.

 

[sidney_374363391]

Alan wrote:

'Come on guys Patey has just lost part of the family, a daughter or son. No difference' ⇦

Actually, there is a difference - a HUGE difference, and it's a bit worrying that so many people don't appear able to appreciate it.

We have a dog, we care for it, insure it, look after it, and would never want to see it harmed - but it's a dog, an animal. period (as the Yanks say)

All the dogs on the planet put together are not as valuable as the life of one human being - to think otherwise is inordinate affection, and deeply disturbing.

 

[Dustydog]

Sidney

I can't believe you can be so sanctimonious and criticise me for what I said.

Did it ever occur to you that some couples cannot have children and thus we extol our love on our animals?

We had Dusty from a puppy, first saw her at 4 weeks old. We nurtured , tutored and loved her as a daughter. When she died we were devastated.

YES it was like losing a daughter , for us anyway. Indeed Patey has experienced the same.

Judging by your remarks , do you think I need psychiatric help or something??

Come on Sidney chill out and see this from a dog lovers perspective.

Cheers

Alan

 

[Lord Braykewynde]

Sidney, I agreed with you for your reasons of why your post was deleted on another subject and it looks like my response in support of you caused them who oversee us to delete the whole thread incase other eyes saw it.

On this matter I think you are wrong though. Nobody is saying dogs are human beings or even equal to them in the intelligence stakes although I do wonder with some people. That doesn't mean to say that grief is any the less when losing a dog.

I'm no psychologist but I'm sure people feel grief because of the years of undying loyalty, affection, trusting and a hundred and one more adjectives shown by a dog.

Another reason is probably because if a loved one is dying we can communicate with them, unlike with a dog, leaving us feeling helpless and frustrated because we are unable to express our feelings adequately.

My wife and I have had three children, unlike Alan, but our feelings are just the same as his regarding our dogs. We have had four dogs and so far have only lost one and the grief I felt was equal to, if not more, than any loved one I have experienced. Does that make me cold and uncaring for my loved ones who have passed away?

Our oldest is 14 and I'm absolutely dreading the day anything happens to her. I'm not a religious person but I give thanks for every day she is with us, every day is a bonus from now on.

To my mind those who mock others about their feelings for their dogs are the cold, uncaring people of this world.

 

[Guest]

Post deleted

 

[Auvergne]

Oh, I'm so going to miss this forum when I go back to work!!!

 

[Lord Braykewynde]

LOL Valerie. Poor old Sids post has been edited again I see. Theres more editing on this forum over the last couple of weeks than what goes on in the Editors office at Private Eye :O)

 

[Guest]

Post Deleted

 

[LMH]

Would it be at all possible to do the wind ups on another thread, or a separate thread? I personally don't have a problem with what you are doing, but I am just asking for a little courtesy towards Patey.

Lisa