F-f-f-f-facing my Worst F-f-f-f-fears......

[CyberCynth]

Well, Woosies, reading about your prospective travels has given me the hump, good and proper. It will be another month yet before I can drive, (on account of knee surgery) so an outing in the caravan over Easter is out of the question. Boo hoo.

Oh well, I thought, I could use my time productively, sort out my shed and sell off all my camping gear, which happily I no longer need, now I'm back in a caravan. (Yippeeee!)

Here is my dilemma. I actually started doing this LAST year, got as far as getting my tent out of its bag for an airing, when out popped the biggest bloomin' spider I've ever seen in my life! It clambered out from the folds in the tent and I'm sure, pulled a face at me. AAAAAAAAaaaargh!!!! (That was me, not the spider) The tent was hastily shuffled back in its bag, as far as I know, complete with hairy monster, thrown back in the shed, and there it has stayed for the past 12 months, and now I have to go back and (cue scary music.....) do battle with the Creature from the Carannex. Now, how do I face this onerous and terror-invoking task???

You know, I used to fight my inner demons, but we're on the same side now. Well, I need all the allies I can get.

 

[Gabsgrandad]

:evil: What size shoes do you have? :woohoo: They should cover it!!! hmy:

Besides knights/ladies should be fearless and slay dragons. {spiders}

 

[colin-yorkshire]

hi Cyber Cynth,
I will share with you a little true story, it may help,
Years ago I used to go Scuba Diving, after doing all the initial pool training ect, it was time to progress into open water for further training, and after doing the usual lake and gravel pit dives, we went to the Farne's for some deep water dives off a boat.
now for some reason I had the dread of coming across SHARKS, probably something to do with all those JAWS movies, but none the less a real fear, I could not consentrate because for it, made silly mistakes and twice had to cut short a dive due to lack of air (over breathing), on the second week it happend in the middle of a dive at 20mrs I saw one coming straight at me mouth wide open a monster (actually it was only about 3ft long) I froze terrified OMG what now!!!! at this point I think I made some sort of gesture, to which it stopped dead turned round and fled,
apparently they have poor eyesight but hunt though a sense of smell and taste and the sight of this 6ft air breathing bubble blowing bright coloured monster from the deep scared the hell out of it!!!.
from that moment my fear disappeared and I started to enjoy myself and became a club instructor the following year.
the only fear is fear it's self.
SO go into the shed get out the tent and if the beasty shows up say BOO!! and dispatch it with a shoe as SIR GAB describes.

 

[Parksy]

The chances are that your eight legged enemy will be brown bread by now, most British spiders only live for a year or so before they shuffle off to the big cobweb in the sky.
The best thing to do is to take the bag out of the shed, pull the tent out of the bag in the garden and give any wee beasties the chance to escape to a place where there are no big shoes of doom waiting to make a pulpy mess of them on the wall of your tent.
If it helps there's some information here about spiders which might dispel a few myths about our little fly killing friends. (there are no really scary pictures, just a couple of small vague ones honest!)

 

[Mel]

Irrational fears (phobias) are never solved by rational argument; such as "spiders are harmless" (they are, but its not helping is it?).
So here is what you do.
1. assume that the camping gear is full of 6 inch arachnids. (that way, no surprises.)
2. tuck your trousers into your socks (they never run up trouser legs but this way you won't consider it)
3. when you go into the garage plan your escape route and keep it clear of obstructions.
4. put each item onto the floor and with your fingertips turn it over repeatedly then stand back quickly so the spiders can escape.
5. do what you need to do with the camping equipment.
6. Feel amazing that you have ventured into the den of spider horror and emerged TRUIMPHANT.

Bon Chance mon ami.
mel

 

[CyberCynth]

Ok, thanks everyone for your support, and funny stories!

Mel, I have to contradict you; spiders DO get up your trouser legs - yes, it happened to me! And I still shudder when I think of it - 20 years ago now! I won't go into all the menacing details, although to be fair I suppose the spider could have crawled into my track suit bottoms when they were neatly folded up in the airing cupboard. He probably thought he'd found a nice cosy place for a quick kip. I had to disillusion the hapless creature with an unceremonious eviction, by which time I was screaming my head off! My dog thought it was all very exciting, chased the spider round the kitchen once I'd thrown him out, and gobbled it up with great gusto, much to my relief. Which leads me to my next point, Gabsgrandad, despite the fact that I sport a size 8 shoe, I can't bring myself to squish these ugly beasts, as Parksy pointed out, they're jolly useful creatures to have around in terms of getting rid of insects, and are as entitled to their lives as much as I am to mine. They just give me the creeps, bigtime.

Well, Mel, I feel I will need more than Bon Chance in my shed-clearing exercise. I was thinking more in terms of a Very Large Brandy actually! The rubbish-free zone for an escape route is certainly a good idea. Will post a progress report when I've plucked up the courage to do battle with the Creature from the Carannex.

 

[CyberCynth]

The chances are that your eight legged enemy will be brown bread by now, most British spiders only live for a year or so before they shuffle off to the big cobweb in the sky.
The best thing to do is to take the bag out of the shed, pull the tent out of the bag in the garden and give any wee beasties the chance to escape to a place where there are no big shoes of doom waiting to make a pulpy mess of them on the wall of your tent.
If it helps there's some information here about spiders which might dispel a few myths about our little fly killing friends. (there are no really scary pictures, just a couple of small vague ones honest!)

Steve, thanks for the helpful link to the item about spiders, and I'm very pleased to read the gentleman's recommendation that, should you find a house spider in the bath, you go downstairs and pour yourself a brandy whilst allowing said spider to climb up a towel you've helpfully left for his rescue. What a sensible suggestion. I must say, I don't like the idea of a 'wolf spider', and another, the name of which is giganticus something-or-other. (shudder). Now, one thing I disagree with him about, is that spiders are scared of humans! WHAT! Why do they always run TOWARDS me, then??!! Anyway, quite enough about spiders, I'm off to see what everyone else is posting about.

 

[CyberCynth]

Saved by the rain!!!

I have never been so pleased to see a change for the worst in the weather! This means I have not had the chance to get my camping gear out of the dark recesses of the shed, in order to clean up/air off/de-spider everything. Not that I was procrastinating anyway, you understand; I've just had such a busy year.....

I feel a real meanie jumping up and down in the rain, as all my lovely fellow forumites who have gone away for an Easter break have not had the most conducive of conditions for their hols. Sorry folks. It's supposed to be turning nice again after a few days, but hey, I still can't air the tent; the lawn is absolutely covered in pink petals at the moment, from my neighbours cherry tree. Very pretty, but I can't be doing with all they petals getting into all me bits and pieces, now, can I? (I've become a Wiltshire Bloom-raker rather than a moon-raker.....)

Enjoy the rest of your hols folks!