I shouldn't have to do this.......

[Auvergne]

I have a 16 year old son who was off to the shopping centre today to trade in his PS3 for the new model, this means he has to pay £120 towards the new one. He also wanted to get his Dad a birthday present, buy some new headphones and give out some CVs in the hope of getting a weekend job. Dutifully he comes downstairs with his PS3 in its original box and a laptop bag containing his CVs.

After some discussion we have agreed:

1) He leaves his PS3 and the £120 cash at home and I will drive over with it and meet him later in case he gets jumped.

2) He leaves his laptop bag at home and puts his CVs in a rucksack due to my husband's boss being attacked on the tube when carrying a laptop bag last week (thankfully he was only bruised and battered and no laptop was in the bag).

3) He leaves his wallet at home and "splits" the cash he takes out, keeping some in the bottom of his trainers.

4) He has been told in no uncertain terms that if anyone mugs him just give everything over, money, mobile and whatever else they want.

He is now walking up the road and in quiet reflection I'm thinking "What am I teaching my son about society?" He is a very quiet unassuming boy by nature and I wonder if I'm making things worse? This is the same boy who had a new bike for Christmas, rode not a mile away to buy a birthday card for his sister, chaining his bike to the railings. 2 minutes later it was gone and the police were on the phone asking me to go and get him.

I shouldn't have to do this......should I?

 

[DarrylFlynn]

Valerie,

you should not have to do this with your son at all HOWEVER when there seems to be a total lack of respect and a complete disregard for anyone's property or quality of life owing to the amount of SCUM on the streets you takes your chance or pays your money!

Did i mention that i would gladly reintroduce capital punishment and have low life castrated at Birth.

I have no doubts that my comments will upset the ardent do gooders but in all fairness i am beyond caring what they think.

Don't be too protective but by the same token try to get your son to be Streetwise and anticipate trouble rather than walking blindly and innocently into it.

Kind Regards Attilla the Nun!

 

[Chrissylizzie]

Hi Valerie

No you definitely should not have to be doing it, but unfortunately these days, you do have to. Years ago, it was only girls parents felt they had to worry about, but these days, boys are just as much at risk, as others can see them as fair game. Being the mother of both a daughter and son, although they are now 28 and 31, I can honestly say that we worried more about our son being targeted when out on his own than we did our daughter as she met her boyfriend (now husband) when she was only 16 so they were in a vehicle. It is awful the messages we are giving them about society, but sadly, not preparing them means they are more vulnerable. I still worry about my son as these days he could be just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Being a parent these days is not easy and I do share your concern.

 

[Auvergne]

I agree Chrissylizzie, I worry about my son more than I worry about my daughter in respect to being mugged, I think its the boys that are far more vulnerable.

However, my 18 year old daughter and her boyfriend were recently walking home from having a meal and someone driving past threw a glass bottle at them as they drove by. There's no rhyme or reason to it.

We live in the South East and I am motivated by the belief that once my two finish their education we will move elsewhere, don't know where, but far away where people will be kinder, life will be better and my anxieties will subside. Is it this bad everywhere?

 

[ValA.]

Fortunately I don't think where I live we've quite reached that stage yet. Perhaps you all ought to move to the much quieter acres of rural North/West Yorkshire where you can still walk the streets without worrying about meeting anything more threatening than the odd grey squirrel!

 

[Guest]

I'm with Val A, you live in the wrong place. Is it south east Beirut Valerie? Because it sounds like war zone!

I was brought up in the South East and still have property there. And it doesn't sound like anywhere I know.

You can get some good ruck sacks for laptops that don't adverstise what's in them. And does your son not have some sensible friends Valerie, so they can go out as a group in the safety that offers.

 

[hgv dave]

hi valerie

you are doing what any decent parent does....safeguarding your child and bringing him up in a decent way

its a pity the parents of others dont even care about what there children are doing

that is why you are doing you best for your child

hgv dave

 

[602]

Hi,

I has crossed my mind, that a couple should have two children, leave a deposit at the "bank", and the man should volunteer to be neutralised ...... and the Govt should give them

 

[Chrissylizzie]

I don't think it is necessarily just living in the 'wrong place'. We live in a nice market town in Cheshire, but there have still been incidents, especially with the boys. Grown up boys cannot always be with someone else and if they just happen to be spotted by one or two others who fancy a bit of bother, they can be the target. It is usually fuelled by alchohol, and until this is sorted out, then there is more chance of these incidents happening.

 

[smiley]

Hi Valerie

I hate to ask but where so you live?

I've never lived anywhere I had to tell my children this!!

 

[Auvergne]

We are in Essex, 18 miles from London.

 

[Mel]

Valerie,

you should not have to do this with your son at all HOWEVER when there seems to be a total lack of respect and a complete disregard for anyone's property or quality of life owing to the amount of SCUM on the streets you takes your chance or pays your money!

Did i mention that i would gladly reintroduce capital punishment and have low life castrated at Birth.

I have no doubts that my comments will upset the ardent do gooders but in all fairness i am beyond caring what they think.

Don't be too protective but by the same token try to get your son to be Streetwise and anticipate trouble rather than walking blindly and innocently into it.

Kind Regards Attilla the Nun!

Darryl, i am sure that you are beyond caring what I, an ardent do-gooder thinks, but I thought i would tell you anyway. As a foster carer I take children who have unspeakable beginnings in life: abuse of all sorts, neglect, trauma, and fear. Not surprisingly, their behaviour is awful and I and others do our ardent best to sort them out. Sometimes we are successful, sometimes not. Sometimes our young people grow up to live successful lives, sometimes not. There is no excuse for anti-social behaviour but sometimes there are reasons. If I, ardently doing good (and a fair amount of tough love) can stop one abused young person ending up as a mugger then by God I am going to do it. What exactly are you doing to help children live a better life?

mel

 

[602]

Hi,

Another problem today, is that your neighbours will not keep an eye on your kids ..... they probably don't even know whose kids they are.

Then, when you get a school which is so big that the head teacher might not know all his staff, let alone individual pupils....

When I was at school, my place was in my desk, and my absence would have been immediately obvious. I felt uncomfortable anywhere else, except the physics lab and the woodwork shop. Nowadays children are ittinerants, who does that benefit?

602

 

[raccoon]

Hi Valerie. It is a shame we keep saying "Its a sign of the times" and people saying "I blame the parents". What a load of clap trap.

You are imparting Good advice to your son. He will learn about the streets sooner or later. Keep doing what you are doing and he will do well by your advice.

Society is not to blame. It is the individual who commites the crimes. No one makes them go and do it.

Whe i was 15 years old (In the late 60s) my parents were divorced. I lived with my mam. We did not have money. Enough for food and rent. I did not do what some do now and blame it on not having money.

You do right explaining what could happen and yes its better to give it up to the mugger if they want it.