If its not one thing its another....

[Auvergne]

I've never had two threads running on here at once but here goes...

Does anyone know how to cure or go some way to containing a phobia of interviews? You may find it unbelievable but I am a person who has such a dread of an interview situation I have had hypnotherapy, counselling etc. to no avail. I have no trouble whatsoever undertaking various positions as and when they appear before me but in general find my work through temping - i.e. just throwing myself in and getting on. That way I don't have to go through the trauma of interviewing. However, I am in a permanent position at the moment.

I find I'm like a rabbit in the headlights, my mind goes totally blank, I literally freeze and have fled interviews in tears before now. I have tracked back over my life and feel it is an issue to do with being judged, not only judged but judged harshly. The answer is probably never to apply for a job but I need to move on - Found out I have an offer of an interview on the 16th December - its going to be anxiety keeping me awake till then, not next door's cat lol.

 

[Chrisbee]

Imagine that the person conducting the interview is naked. It stops them from seeming so overpowering and puts you in a superior position to them. Daft I know but it really does work and is a good way to put yourself at ease.

 

[Parksy]

Hi Valerie

Nerves and feelings of anxiety and aprehension are quite normal, let's get that out of the way first.

Don't be afraid to make some notes and take them in to the interview with you. Refer to them to help you to put across to the interviewer what you want to say.

Mention your nerves and tell the person conducting the interview that interviews are not your strongest suit but you have the ability to do the job. Say it with a smile and you'll disarm the person asking the questions.

No one is ever what they appear to be on the surface and the person who's interviewing might one day be a trusted work colleague whith whom you share jokes. Don't forget that they are employees too.

To be offered an interview these days means that you are a strong candidate and are ahead of many others so concentrate on your many good qualities and talents, hold your head high and stride into the room like a confident actor going on stage.

Look directly at the interviewer and extend your hand for a handshake. You DESERVE to be there!

Best of Luck

 

[Auvergne]

What sound advice. I'm interested you suggest making notes - I would feel far happier to have notes as a prompt - I could scribble notes around the job spec I have perhaps. And somehow I would feel more relaxed having something to hold. My friends reckon its not good practice though because they say the interview will not flow and it will be stilted but I might take your advice and go for it. I think the constant eye contact is also a difficulty - there will be 3 interviewers - so if I was able to break that by glancing at my sheet every now and then it may be helpful. My hypnotherapist said to imagine the interviewers naked/sitting on the toilet but I don't think I am the sort of person who can let a hypnotherapist into my psyche, I hate to lose control! You'd have thought by 45 I'd be more self assured... well, the more I think about it the more that sounds a good plan. I'm also taking the whole day off so as I'm not rushed - if all else fails I have one little temazepam in the bathroom cupboard which I am guarding with my life!

 

[Parksy]

The notes will be a simple reminder of things that you want to say about yourself and the job that you're applying for Valerie.

As you say, even if you don't read them they will give you something to do with your hands.

Don't forget that this is an opportunity and not an ordeal, the interviewers won't be trying to catch you out or trip you up in any way. They know nothing about you so they have no way to judge you in any way and they are relying on you to show them that you can do the job simply by having a conversation with them - that's all it is.

They want the vacancy filled just as much as you would like the job so the interviewers are trying their best to let you show them that you are just the person that they need and they want to know your good points and not negatives.

Don't worry too much about maintaining eye contact, no one could keep constant eye contact throughout any interview without appearing to be odd in some way ;0)

As you stride confidently into the interview room smile, have a look at them and you will see which one of the three that you 'connect' with.

Give more eye contact to that person ( There's always a friendly one who smiles) but use it simply to emphasise the point that you're making.

Enjoy the chance to put your talents on show, be yourself and walk tall, who knows? - you could enjoy this!

 

[LMH]

Valerie

You say you like to stay in control = please don't consider taking a temazepam before the interview.

Unless you are desperate for the job, try and chill, you may not even like the people who are interviewing you, you may not even like the building you might be working in or the companies ethics and working practices etc.

If all else fails and you either don't want to work there, or your nerves get the better of you and you end up fluffing your answers. Do what I did many years ago - I was interviewed by the two most sexist excuses of men who I wouldn't have worked for anyway even if they paid me in diamonds. To end the interview which was becomming rather tedious on my part, I simply stood up and announced 'sorry, i have to end this interview now, I have a party tonight, goodbye'.

Good luck Valerie, deep breaths, plenty of sleep the night before (lavender on your pillow, brisk walk before bed), I know it's alright for me to say.

Just a suggestion, why don't you apply for several low key jobs which you have no intention of taking, just for the interview experience?

Lisa

 

[ValA.]

Just imagine that the interviewers are as nervous as you are - and they probably will be! I've done interviewing, and it can be just as nerve-wracking as being interviewed! They are probably desperate to get the right person for the job, and having got to the interview stage, they obviously think you have those qualities - you just have to believe it yourself!!! Talk positively to yourself all the time - dismiss any negative thoughts about how nervous you will be - and just think 'I can actually do this - and I'm going to prove it to myself that I can'.

Imagine that the interview is the other way around - you're interviewing them to see if the job they're offering is one you might be interested in! This will help you see the questions they ask in a different light!

When you think about it, throwing yourself in as a temp and just getting on with the job is actually far more difficult than being interviewed because you've no real idea of what the job will involve, or how you will fit in.

Like Lisa says, don't take the tablet - it will affect your judgement - but her advice about going for interviews for jobs you have no intention of accepting is a good one. The more times you've been interviewed the less nervous you will be.

 

[RogerP]

Hi Valerie

making notes is good , but make sure they are as simple as you can make them , not war and peace. You just need bullet points that will jog your memeory.

Also make a note of a few questions you might want to ask.

Remember that the interview is your chance to bring your CV to life and only you can do that.

Finally when giving your answers dont waffle , don't feel you have to keep talking. Give your answers concisely and appropriately and dont be affraid to keep quiet once your delivered your answer.

Good luck , if you know the job and can fit your skills to the role you're half way there already.