joke

[CameronBurns]

in yorkshire, people have a reputation for being tight with money (it's not true!!! LOL!). that's where this joke comes from...

A man rung up the obituary section of the yorkshire evening post and a woman answered.

"can i help?"

"yes, my wife has sadly died and i wish to write a message in your column. how many words can i have for £1?" the man asked.

"that will get you three words sir." the woman replied.

"ok then... can you write: margerie is dead."

but the woman at youkshire post felt sorry for the man so she said:

"tell you what, i'll give you another three words for free. just tell me what you want to say."

"ok then... Margerie is dead, Fiesta for sale."

 

[LMH]

Brilliant!!

Lisa

 

[Alan Partridge]

Excellent!

Reminds me of another Yorkshire story. A man whose wife had passed away asked the monumental mason to inscribe the headstone "Lord, she was thine".

When he went to look at the stone, he saw that the e had been missed off 'thine', so he complained to the mason who promised to add an e.

Next time he went to visit his wife's grave, the inscription read..........

"Ee Lord, she was thin"

 

[davedee]

Nowt wrong wi savin a bob o' two George lad.

Tha nivver nors when it'll come in andy !

Dave

 

[CameronBurns]

it seems that everyone thinks that people in yorkshire speak like that. but i live up yonder and it isn't true!!!

 

[davedee]

Sorry George,but I'm afraid it is true in some parts.My part of the West Riding was covered in pits (collieries) at one time and the dialect, while somewhat diluted these days,still exists.

Dave

 

[Lord Braykewynde]

Ah ya allrate mi duck? Its a grand day un am rate thosty ah cud sup sum bluddy ale.

 

[davedee]

Come on,LB. Even I didn't understand that!

"Interpretor please....."

Dave

 

[ShadySadie]

Lord B is OK friend, it is a good day and he is really thirsty and could do with a drink of ale / beer Close enough?

 

[Lord Braykewynde]

Lord B is OK friend, it is a good day and he is really thirsty and could do with a drink of ale / beer Close enough?

Are you alright my friend, it's a lovely day and I'm right thirsty I could sup some ale.

Close enough Sadie ;O)

 

[davedee]

Thanks for that,Sadie.

LB,what dialect did you type it in?

Dave

 

[GeorgeB]

Dave & Dee,

So as a Yorkshire man can you tell me if its true that the definition of a Yorkshire man is a Scots man with the generosity gene removed!

 

[davedee]

Hello George.

Let me see now, generosity....er...generosity....errrm

Sorry George, I don't understand that word. What is it?

Dave

 

[ShadySadie]

Lord B is OK friend, it is a good day and he is really thirsty and could do with a drink of ale / beer Close enough?

;-)

 

[GeorgeB]

Dave,

Buy me a pint or three & I'll explain!

George

 

[davedee]

Lend us a tenner,George and I'll gladly oblige. heh,heh

Dave

 

[GeorgeB]

Dave,

I'm a married man with a daughter & a mortgage, Whats a tenner?

George

 

[Lord Braykewynde]

I think a tenner is two bunches of fives ... at least it adds up :O)

 

[colin-yorkshire]

hi.

ee by gum lad duz tha think all of us tikes are tyte well al tell thee thaz rate we are but ony hafe as tyte as them southernes ((anyone residing below sheffield))cos theres as tyte as a ducks arse an that waater tyte.

an while we at it them scotch (( anyone residing higher than newcastle )) are tyter still any prat tha nows that'll weer a frock to save the cost of a pear o' kecks as 't' be super tyte ant the.

colin.

 

[davedee]

Aye,thas nobut rate Colin owd luv.

Dave

 

[rosies]

But south of sheffield ( just that bit south ) is Notts where we spake rate . whereas yorkie puds say midazgorrajag we say oimiduk popaza foowed . And yes " my duck" is from Notts . Steve .

 

[davedee]

You're right on one thing,Steve; "mi duck" has creapt northfrom it's home in Notts.

My first set of inlaws lived in Dronfield (between Sheffield and Chesterfield) and when we visited evryone said it.

Another trait was to substitute 'th' with 'd'. Hence; "Ows da doin"

Or even; "As da dun dat den,duck?"

Therefore we usually refer to them as deedardooers.

Dave

 

[emmerson2]

Hest iver sin a cuddy loup a five bard yat?

Twus a gey gurt cuddy else a gey la'al yat!

 

[CameronBurns]

this is just getting offensive now!

 

[davedee]

Quite right,George.

Any more of that kind of language,Emmerson and we'll have to get the mods to delete it.

Dave