My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."
The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive.
It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
A man, upon his engagement, went to his father and said," Dad! I've found a woman just like mother"
His father replied, "So what do you want? sympathy?"
A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted."
The next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same : "You can have mine."
Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; then it was too late.
Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.
In the beginning, God created Earth and rested.
Then God created man and rested.
Then God created woman.
Since then, neither God nor man has rested.
Why do you want to be buried at sea ?
To stop my wife dancing on my grave !
