Hello Mel,
To answer you question briefly 100/87Kg will not make a great deal of difference under static conditions but the reality is that towing conditions generate stresses that greatly in excess of the static loads, and that may have sever consequences on the structure of the tow vehicle.
Under test conditions at the MIRA test track the impulse accelerations measured at a tow hitch were typically up to 4G and with some individual readings as high as 8G.
this means your basic 87Kg load could impose an impact load as high as 696Kg for fractions of a second. If you overload you hitch by 13Kg to 100Kg the peak loads could be as high as 800Kg.
The design of the towing bracket will usually be more than capable of handling these loads, but it is what the bracket is fixed to under the car, in many cases it is perhaps only 1.5mm of sheet steel.
Car Designers are aware of such impact loads and will have applied what they consider to be the necessary safety margins to their designs, eat into those safety margins and the longevity of the product is reduced.
The failure may be progressive or it may be sudden, but eventually some part will give and the resulting detachment of the caravan from the car may be spectacular.