Offside
- Thread starter Chris_374413356
- Start date
The Offside Rule
Now read carefully. This is really important. If you don't get this you might as well give up now. It not that hard but people get worried about it.
You will probably find this easiest if you are sitting at a table. You will need some props. A sugar bowl (empty), vinegar bottle, salt and pepper pots, a bottle of ketchup and a bottle of brown sauce (glass or plastic). Oh and a malteser.
Now put the sugar bowl at the far end of the table with the bowl bit facing towards you. Put the vinegar bottle directly in front of it. Now put the salt and pepper pots in front of these two, say one on the left and one on the right. Put the ketchup in front of them and the brown sauce just in front of you.
Now Ketchup and Brown Sauce are attacking. Salt and Pepper are defending. Vinegar is the goalie. Brown Sauce kicks The Malteser forwards and Ketchup runs forward, past Salt and/or Pepper and gets The Malteser. Shoots. GOAL!
Same scenario except this time, Ketchup starts running before Brown Sauce kicks The Malteser. He runs past Salt/and or Pepper just before Brown Sauce kicks The Malteser. He gets The Malteser. Shoots. NO GOAL! Reason? The offside rule.
The offside rule says there must be two of the defending team between the opposition and the goal before the ball is kicked. Once it is kicked it is fine to run forwards. It is to stop goal hanging.
So - no Salt AND Pepper, no goal!
See its easy!
That's the offside rule.
And this rule, the offside rule, leads to the offside trap. Its a trick Salt and Pepper play on Ketchup and Brown Sauce. One or both of them run forwards just before The Malteser is kicked by Brown Sauce, past Ketchup, thus putting Ketchup offside.
And that's the offside trap.
Now read carefully. This is really important. If you don't get this you might as well give up now. It not that hard but people get worried about it.
You will probably find this easiest if you are sitting at a table. You will need some props. A sugar bowl (empty), vinegar bottle, salt and pepper pots, a bottle of ketchup and a bottle of brown sauce (glass or plastic). Oh and a malteser.
Now put the sugar bowl at the far end of the table with the bowl bit facing towards you. Put the vinegar bottle directly in front of it. Now put the salt and pepper pots in front of these two, say one on the left and one on the right. Put the ketchup in front of them and the brown sauce just in front of you.
Now Ketchup and Brown Sauce are attacking. Salt and Pepper are defending. Vinegar is the goalie. Brown Sauce kicks The Malteser forwards and Ketchup runs forward, past Salt and/or Pepper and gets The Malteser. Shoots. GOAL!
Same scenario except this time, Ketchup starts running before Brown Sauce kicks The Malteser. He runs past Salt/and or Pepper just before Brown Sauce kicks The Malteser. He gets The Malteser. Shoots. NO GOAL! Reason? The offside rule.
The offside rule says there must be two of the defending team between the opposition and the goal before the ball is kicked. Once it is kicked it is fine to run forwards. It is to stop goal hanging.
So - no Salt AND Pepper, no goal!
See its easy!
That's the offside rule.
And this rule, the offside rule, leads to the offside trap. Its a trick Salt and Pepper play on Ketchup and Brown Sauce. One or both of them run forwards just before The Malteser is kicked by Brown Sauce, past Ketchup, thus putting Ketchup offside.
And that's the offside trap.
Alternatively:-
In preparation for the World Cup, the "offside rule" explained for women:
You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till. Behind the shop assistant on the till is a pair of shoes which you have seen and which you must have.
The female shopper in front of you has seen them also and is eyeing them with desire. Both of you have forgotten your purses.
It would be rude to push in front of the first woman if you had no money to pay for the shoes.
The shop assistant remains at the till waiting.
Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of the shop and sees your dilemma.
She prepares to throw her purse to you.
If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other shopper and buy the shoes!
At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper and "whilst it is in flight" you could *** around the other shopper, catch the purse and buy the shoes!
BUT, you must always remember that until the purse has "actually been thrown", it would be plain wrong for you to be in front of the other shopper and you would be OFFSIDE!
In preparation for the World Cup, the "offside rule" explained for women:
You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till. Behind the shop assistant on the till is a pair of shoes which you have seen and which you must have.
The female shopper in front of you has seen them also and is eyeing them with desire. Both of you have forgotten your purses.
It would be rude to push in front of the first woman if you had no money to pay for the shoes.
The shop assistant remains at the till waiting.
Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of the shop and sees your dilemma.
She prepares to throw her purse to you.
If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other shopper and buy the shoes!
At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper and "whilst it is in flight" you could *** around the other shopper, catch the purse and buy the shoes!
BUT, you must always remember that until the purse has "actually been thrown", it would be plain wrong for you to be in front of the other shopper and you would be OFFSIDE!
Or if you seriously want to know :-
Log on to this site & click on the button points.
http://www.urban75.org/football/offside.html
Log on to this site & click on the button points.
http://www.urban75.org/football/offside.html
Have they done away with the "not interfering part"brought in at the 1994 World cup?
This is the rule where even if a forward player is in an "offside"position but is deemed by the Ref not to be interfering ie ball does not go to him, but a team mate who is onside, play carries on!
This is the rule where even if a forward player is in an "offside"position but is deemed by the Ref not to be interfering ie ball does not go to him, but a team mate who is onside, play carries on!
Thanks everybody for that, if I find the salt cellar in a pair of my wife's new shoes I'll know what happened. Now can somebody explain the infield Fly Rule to me?
Cheers
Mike A
By the way, if my wife's other friend was closer to the till, and some might say could have been obstructing the other potential shopper, but made no attempt to catch the purse, would she be offside?
Cheers
Mike A
By the way, if my wife's other friend was closer to the till, and some might say could have been obstructing the other potential shopper, but made no attempt to catch the purse, would she be offside?
Parksy
Moderator
No he would definitely still expect payment, but he may very well apologise for dropping the shoes whilst wrapping them, & explain that he'll be more confident during the next sale!!!!
Yes it is NOT an offence just to be in an offside position. Only if the player is interfering with play or seeking to gain advantage is he/she penalised. But bear in mind the interpretation is at the discretion of the officials & it has to be said 'opinions vary quite considerably'
I was very proud of my teenage daughter, she only needed one explanation of the offside rule from my husband to work it out. Me.... well Im still trying!!...a talking malteser... Hmmm
Facebook
Twitter