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ANTHONYB1

Nov 2, 2006
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Hello everyone,now this is really a tricky one.My friend of many years is getting to be a pain in the butt,when He comes over to my van for a quick beer or two,he forgets to head back to his beloved,whos watching tv on her own.He really just can,t take a hint that its time to leave,even when I start getting the bedding ready.

Any suggestions are welcome,but I don,t want to be nasty about it.

Regards Alfie
 
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Oldsalt49

Jun 14, 2009
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Hi Anthony (Alfie

I suggest you need to go cold turkey, go beerless for a while, no booze no mate! Also buy some sexy underwear for his beloved, he might have a night or two in! LOL!!!
 
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Lord Braykewynde

Jan 19, 2008
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If he wont take the hint when you get your bedding out *** off into the washroom to get changed. Come out wearing some fancy cami-knickers, lacy bra and suspenders and then ask him if he fancies a threesome. If he does it's time to get a new mate :O(
 
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ANTHONYB1

Nov 2, 2006
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If he wont take the hint when you get your bedding out *** off into the washroom to get changed. Come out wearing some fancy cami-knickers, lacy bra and suspenders and then ask him if he fancies a threesome. If he does it's time to get a new mate :O(
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Hello My Lord,I was just thinking that you as a frequent visitor to Lucksalls, might have had the pleasure of meeting my mate.As he usually wanders around the fields looking for free drinks,before trying to find his way back home to his own van in the early hours. He is a friend of Phippes,(in the statics)give him a wide berth if you see him heading your way.

regards Anthony.
 
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joeby

Aug 28, 2005
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Hello My Lord,I was just thinking that you as a frequent visitor to Lucksalls, might have had the pleasure of meeting my mate.As he usually wanders around the fields looking for free drinks,before trying to find his way back home to his own van in the early hours. He is a friend of Phippes,(in the statics)give him a wide berth if you see him heading your way.

regards Anthony.
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is his name Nigel, allways wandering about with a can of beer in his hand
 
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LMH

Mar 14, 2005
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Are you and him on a permanant site? If you are, then it's going to be quite hard and my policy is honesty is best. You're going to have to tell him straight.

If you're not on a permananet site and he's following you to sites, don't tell him where you're going,

Tough one indeed but if he won't take the hints, then I'm afraid you're going to have to tell him in a nice way.

Lisa
 
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ANTHONYB1

Nov 2, 2006
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Are you and him on a permanant site? If you are, then it's going to be quite hard and my policy is honesty is best. You're going to have to tell him straight.

If you're not on a permananet site and he's following you to sites, don't tell him where you're going,

Tough one indeed but if he won't take the hints, then I'm afraid you're going to have to tell him in a nice way.

Lisa
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Hello Lisa,DAs and rallys,but he has very thick skin.

Regards Anthony
 
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LMH

Mar 14, 2005
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~avoid Da's and rallies for a while then. Otherwise, you're gonna have to puncture that thick skin of his. Got to be done I'm afraid.

Lisa
 
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Lord Braykewynde

Jan 19, 2008
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Quote ANTHONY .."Hello My Lord,I was just thinking that you as a frequent visitor to Lucksalls, might have had the pleasure of meeting my mate".

Well, in that case then ANTHONY, get Nigel to dress in your suspenders, cami-knickers and lacy bra and drive him to the car park in Haugh Wood one night and drop him off there. Some right goings on there, all kinds of rumpy pumpy, and he might get to like it and spend more time there than bothering you. Don't forget to leave him a few cans. Turn right just before the Moon Inn and keep going for a couple of miles, car park on the left at the top of the hill.

Drive on for just over a mile and you and your good lady could have a nice meal in the Crown at Woolhope. Don't forget to pick Nigel up on the way back. He'll be too buggered to bother you for the rest of the night :O)

Regards, His Windyship.

PCV Agony Uncle.
 
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ValA.

Dec 14, 2006
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Lock your door, turn down the lights, draw the blinds, and jump up and down heavily on the floor whilst making some 'interesting' noises. Surely he'll take the hint then - especially if you try it night after night. He'll probably wonder what he's missing and *** quickly back to his van to see his beloved.

Or perhaps she should turn off the TV and find ways to keep him indoors?
 
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Soozeeg

Aug 12, 2007
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Perhaps she kicks him out and locks the door!!! Especially in view of Anthony's comment that his friend loves the girls too much! ;-)
 
Parksy

Parksy

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Nov 12, 2009
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Dear Uncle Braykewynde

Are there any particular colours of lingerie that you'd recommend for Anthony to dress his friend Nigel in when he drops him off at the place that you mentioned.

I'm sure that you will know from your many late night visits to the Haugh Wood car park (strictly in the interests of research and nature studies of course)that some colours can be seen better than others especially by those of us who are becoming short sighted for one reason or another.
 
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Lord Braykewynde

Jan 19, 2008
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Dear Parksy,

Any fluorescent colours will do. Google Ann Summers shocking pink or puke green. Stilletto heels are a no no due to the pot-holed car park and it could be embarrassing explaining in court whilst sueing the Forestry Commission why you were dressed in such attire.

Please be aware that many people believe the nocturnal meets are to walk dogs or talk about our canine friends (sorry Lisa, cancel your plans) but they are far from that. Not that I've ever partook in one of these meets you'll understand but I'm told that a good torch is a must if you like to watch the entertainment.

Not all people are in agreement with this entertainment though. The Chief Fire Officer frowned upon it when he learned that one of his engines turned up in the car park and the crew turned their floodlights on.

I hope this helps in your research,

Regards, Uncle Windy.
 
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thursdays child

Oct 22, 2009
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Dear Parksy,

Any fluorescent colours will do. Google Ann Summers shocking pink or puke green. Stilletto heels are a no no due to the pot-holed car park and it could be embarrassing explaining in court whilst sueing the Forestry Commission why you were dressed in such attire.

Please be aware that many people believe the nocturnal meets are to walk dogs or talk about our canine friends (sorry Lisa, cancel your plans) but they are far from that. Not that I've ever partook in one of these meets you'll understand but I'm told that a good torch is a must if you like to watch the entertainment.

Not all people are in agreement with this entertainment though. The Chief Fire Officer frowned upon it when he learned that one of his engines turned up in the car park and the crew turned their floodlights on.

I hope this helps in your research,

Regards, Uncle Windy.
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Hows this for a solution?

SHOW HIM THIS POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Thursdays Child
 
Parksy

Parksy

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Nov 12, 2009
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Dear Uncle Braykewynde

Thank you for the helpful advice regarding appropriate apparel for the aforementioned car park.

Maybe the fire crew turned on their floodlights in an effort to distinguish between Arthur and Martha? They could also have been looking for a lost dog.

Perhaps if Anthony equipped his reluctant to leave friend with a head torch and an ordnance survey map with the directions tippexed out he'd take the hint and get lost. Failing that Anthony might consider purchasing a dog and either taking it for a walk when the overstaying guest heads towards his caravan or simply training the dog to growl menacingly at a set time to encourage an earlier exit.
 
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RogerP

Jun 28, 2007
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turn the tables on him ,

head over to his van before he can come to yours and out stay your welcome a few times.

Failing that just tell him , if he's a mate he'll understand , if he doesn't then he's no mate.

Thick skinned or not just tell him plain and simple.
 
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Lord Braykewynde

Jan 19, 2008
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Quote Parksy .. "Maybe the fire crew turned on their floodlights in an effort to distinguish between Arthur and Martha? They could also have been looking for a lost dog".

It wasn't just the floodlights they got into trouble for. It was because they turned their hose on Arthur and Martha to try and 'extinguish' them. I suppose that's where the pastime gets its canine name from :O)

Regards, Uncle Windy.
 
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LMH

Mar 14, 2005
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I was driving along towards Edwinstowe last year and as usual, got horrendously lost. Anyway, I passed some lovely woods (Blidworth) and mentioned to a colleague the next day that I was going to take Phil and the dogs there. My colleague turned round and asked if we were going 'dogging' with the dogs. Turns out, it's a well known spot.

LB is from that 'neck of the woods'..........

Lisa
 
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Lord Braykewynde

Jan 19, 2008
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You mean 'was'.

I was all innocence and purity in those days and only just starting to experiment. I'd just got my first girl friend who lived in Forest Town and she was a busty one :O) I wonder where she is now? I booted her into touch because she wanted me to spend more time with her and less with my mates .. heh! heh! heh!

Sods law my mate started dating her then :O(
 
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