perfect joke

Jan 12, 2007
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a perfect man,a perfect woman and santa are in a lift. there is a £10 note on the floor,which one of them picks up the £10 note?

the perfect man does because the other two are a figment of the imagination :)

hgv dave will now standby for the ladies on the forum to post replies

thing is what are the ladies doing on the computer when there is housework to be done

i think i might be in trouble now :)

hgv dave
 

LMH

Mar 14, 2005
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That's quite funny, your punctuation could be better though........

I've just finished my housework but one of my dogs has taken to climbing through a window to get back into the house. There's muddy paw prints everywhere. So I'm off again now, a woman's work is never done.

Lisa
 
Mar 14, 2005
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I received the following e-mail recently and thought HGV Dave would appreciate a little support from a mere male:

It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to shout at them. Some are over-sensitive and there's nothing worse than an over-sensitive woman.

My name is Ron. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Julie. When I took early retirement last year, it became necessary for Julie to get a full-time job for the extra income that we needed.

Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I now usually get home from the pub about the same time she gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she nearly always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't shout at her, instead I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch at the pub so eating out again is out of the question; I'm ready for some home cooked food when I get home.

She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's usual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.

Another symptom of ageing is complaining. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to do the shopping during her lunch hour. But we take them for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then won't hurt her. I like to think tact is one of my strong points.

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She has to take a rest when she has only half finished mowing the lawn and several extra breaks when she's vacuuming through the house. It does annoy me, vacuuming when I'm trying to watch 'Match of the Day', but I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to make herself a nice cup of tea and just sit for a while, and as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Julie. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older. However, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your ageing wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other, eh?

EDITOR'S NOTE:

Ron died suddenly last week. He was found with a 24-inch Stanley screwdriver rammed up his arse with only 2 inches showing.

His wife Julie was arrested, but the all-woman jury accepted her defence that he accidentally sat on it.

Now Dave where was it you went to hide? is there room for another one.

Serious LADIES the above is meant purely as a joke and hopefully it will be accepted in that manner as I cannot do those smiley icon things.
 
Jan 12, 2007
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hi colin

where have i been hiding

well as im a hgv driver and i have 3 daughters and a wife....well ive been away all week.....its the only place i can get some peace and quiet :)

and may i say thank you to the ladies on the forum for taking the joke as in was intended......just a joke

i belive that a woman is like a fine wine

with age they just get better :)

well thats what i think of my wife anyway

hgv dave
 

LMH

Mar 14, 2005
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That's ok Dave, I've eaten many a sausage sandwich in transport cafes (before the days of Moto) full to the brim with truckers.

Lisa
 
Apr 6, 2008
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Colin (Bridgend)

Have had such a laugh tonight reading your posting as well as another couple. Have totally got the giggles now and am afraid of waking kids as guffawing rather loudly (altho apologise for this as obviously not ladylike at all)

Angel
 

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