There can be no doubt that a caravan represents a very significant increase in the load that a car has to manage, and it should always be treated with the greatest possible respect and caution.
The 85% guidance (it was never a rule) was introduced by the UK caravan industry, but the methodology and evidence for the advice seems to be a lost secret and no-one in the industry is prepared to stand up and and take responsibility for the efficacy or reasoning of the advice. Incidentally the 85% is not the complete advice, it a actually only applies to novice caravanners, and when you are considered to be experienced (Don't ask when that happens!) the advice goes on to suggest you might approach but not exceed 100% towing ratio.
The industry steadfastly refuses to reveal the methodology and evidence they used to produce this advice, nor do they have release any evidence of its efficacy.
As you have mentioned the advice is unrealistic, and if you look more into the details, you will discover the criteria the advice uses (i.e. Kerbweight and MTPLM) are both poorly defined and as you point out the tow vehicle is very unlikely to be at its Kerbweight when towing, if nothing else it will have the weight of the towbar assembly, and the trailers nose load over the "kerbweight"
For these and other technical reasons I am no fan of the industries advice which identifies 85 and 100% figures. But I do agree that it is very sensible for caravaners to keep the weight and size of their caravans as small as is reasonably possible.
Weight ratio's are a part of what make a good outfit, but it also depends on ensuring that -
Both tow vehicle and trailer are on good roadworthy condition,
Good loading practice is used to distribute the user load in both trailer and tow vehicle,
Tyre pressures are correctly adjusted.
In addition its down to the drivers habits and their ability to read and drive to the prevailing conditions.
Remember that speed limits are different for towing, and that speed limits are limits not targets.
The time and space need to complete an manoeuvre is greater because of the weight and size of the combination.
Do not rely on friction couplers and automated trailer braking systems to make an outfit towable, they are not primary safety device to make an outfit safe to drive.
I do advice considering taking a towing course offered by the caravanning clubs. These not only provide useful towing experience and advice, they also help with some of the basic caravan setting up on site.
Based on the figures you have supplied, I do feel the car may be underweight, and possibly underpowered to tow the caravan of that size and weight