The Ultimate Irish Joke

Dec 30, 2009
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The Ultimate Irish Joke

Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop in Dingle. They head to the bird section and Gerry says to Paddy, "Dat's dem." The owner comes over and asks if he can help them.

"Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up

dere," says Gerry.

The owner puts the budgies in a cardboard box.

Paddy and Gerry pay for the birds, leave the shop and get into

Gerry's truck to drive to the top of the Connor Pass.

At the Connor Pass, Gerry looks down at the 1000 foot drop and says' "Dis looks like a grand place." He takes two birds out of the box, puts one on each shoulder and jumps off the cliff.

Paddy watches as the budgies fly off and Gerry falls all the way to the bottom, killing himself stone dead.

Looking down at the remains of his best pal, Paddy shakes his head and says, "Flip dat. Dis budgie jumping is too flip'n dangerous for me.

THERE'S MORE...

Moment's later; Seamus arrives up at Connor Pass. He's been to the pet shop too and walks up to the edge of the cliff carrying another cardboard box in one hand and a shotgun in the other.

"Hi, Paddy, watch dis," Seamus says. He takes a parrot from the box and lets him fly free. He then throws himself over the edge of the cliff with the gun. Paddy watches as half way down,

Seamus takes the gun and shoots the parrot. Seamus continues to

plummet down and down until he hits the bottom and breaks every bone in his body. Paddy shakes his head and says,

"And I'm never trying dat parrotshooting either!"

IT IS NOT OVER YET...

Paddy is just getting over the shock of losing two friends when Sean appears. He's also been to the pet shop and is carrying a cardboard box out of which he pulls a chicken.

Sean then takes the chicken by its legs and hurls himself off the cliff and disappears down and down until he hits a rock and breaks his spine.

Once more Paddy shakes his head. "Flip dat, lads. First dere was Gerry with his budgie jumping,

den Seamus parrotshooting...

and now Sean and his flip'n hengliding!"
 
Dec 30, 2009
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Pete why did you not pick up on the waterbed thread, I would have thought you would have complained it was rasist againt Germans getting wet!
 
Mar 14, 2005
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Pete, what is your motive for your constant criticism of others on the forum?
I don't, I think you'll find I post very little. I am constantly critisised though, even when I go away for a week or so. How long should I sit back and let people have a pop at me?
 
Mar 14, 2005
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Pete - have you ever been to Dublin? Or anywhere in Eire?

As long as the jokes are in good faith we should all be able to get along with it.

The Dutch poke fun at the Germans, the French poke fun at the Belgiums and we all know a joke about the Italians!

When I was over in Dublin for one of the 6 nations matches ( we never go to the match - sit in a bar with a Guinness! - and have the best time of your life) an Irish guy we knew told joke after joke where the idiot always spoke it an English accent!

It was hilarious! And enjoyed in GOOD FAITH by all

Methinks you are desperate for a conflict on this Forum when no conflict is justified. A distinct lack of GOOD FAITH on your part.
 
Jan 19, 2008
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Pete - have you ever been to Dublin? Or anywhere in Eire?

As long as the jokes are in good faith we should all be able to get along with it.

The Dutch poke fun at the Germans, the French poke fun at the Belgiums and we all know a joke about the Italians!

When I was over in Dublin for one of the 6 nations matches ( we never go to the match - sit in a bar with a Guinness! - and have the best time of your life) an Irish guy we knew told joke after joke where the idiot always spoke it an English accent!

It was hilarious! And enjoyed in GOOD FAITH by all

Methinks you are desperate for a conflict on this Forum when no conflict is justified. A distinct lack of GOOD FAITH on your part.
.... and the Americans make fun of immigrant Poles, Mexicans and Italians.
 
Mar 14, 2005
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Pete - have you ever been to Dublin? Or anywhere in Eire?

As long as the jokes are in good faith we should all be able to get along with it.

The Dutch poke fun at the Germans, the French poke fun at the Belgiums and we all know a joke about the Italians!

When I was over in Dublin for one of the 6 nations matches ( we never go to the match - sit in a bar with a Guinness! - and have the best time of your life) an Irish guy we knew told joke after joke where the idiot always spoke it an English accent!

It was hilarious! And enjoyed in GOOD FAITH by all

Methinks you are desperate for a conflict on this Forum when no conflict is justified. A distinct lack of GOOD FAITH on your part.
Exactly LB - what gets me is that whilst you and I disagree (on a couple of issues now!) we do not take it as a personal affront to our manhood or whatever!

Why does Stinky?
 
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If I have offended anyone with this joke I appologise. I am not a rasist nor condone racisum. (Pete excluded as he will argue with anything me thinks)
 
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Good on you Kevin, Pete must be a bit strange if he checks on an item entitled "Irish Joke" knowing that he is a bit sensitive
Clive(cardif) got a good Welsh one today however so rude cant post. Not on this forum anyway.

Thanks for the support
 
Mar 14, 2005
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I believe the measure of the man, or Race for that matter is the ability to have a laugh on yourself.

I remember a Welsh rugby player introducing himself as coming from the land that proved that the Vikings ****ed sheep! He brought the house down and was one of the best players of the day! Great laugh, Great time, Great Sport, Great people. My wife is half Welsh.

My point is that if you are happy with yourself as you are and where you come from and have no maturity hang ups - in other words be proud of yourself, you have no problem with the odd joke at your expense!

Those politically correct saddos that want it otherwise need to look at themselves very closely and get some therapy.
 
May 4, 2005
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31 Jan 2006 05:20 PM Aren't the Irish a race? Isn't this racism?

Pete, your comment above stirred something in my memory. But I couldn't remember what it was.........

But ,I just remembered ,so heres your post from 26/10/05

Pete

26 Oct 2005 12:25 PM Apparently my posting was altered because of complaints of "racism"!

PC gone mad or what! I'm not even sure if the Welsh are a "race"

So what is it then, explaination or apology?

..
 

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