Vinny, the relay has been provided as part of the 12S installation of the towbar/electrics. The relay is normally fitted in one of the side panels of the boot but check with the towbar fitter. It should be adjusted so that the supply on pin 6, with negative on pin 7, is ON when the engine is running and a load equivalent to the fridge {i.e approx 8 amps}is connected. When I adjust them I also have the car headlights on as well.
What is happening with yours is that it has been set to fine so it operates when the engine is running but as soon as the fridge starts to draw current there is a small volts drop which causes the relay to drop out again and it continues to cycle in this way.
Its also worth noting that when it is set correctly and the engine is switched off that the relay can hang for 30 seconds or more as the voltage slowly drops. This has the effect of the van 12v electrics continuing to be isolated untill the relay drops out. This has confused people who are towing and stop for a quick break and go into the van and the internal lights do not work. If this is the case then unplug the 12S and van electrics will come back on.
As your towbar /electrics are new go back to the fitter and tell him your problem and to set the relay as I have indicated.
Ray