a joke.

Jul 12, 2005
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A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.

"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!" He slams the door and returns to bed.

"Who was that?" asked his wife. "Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers. "Did you help him?" she asks. "No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning and it is pouring rain out there!"

"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we b roke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!"

The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain. He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?" "Yes," comes back the answer. "Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband. "Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark. "Where are you?" asks the husband.

"Over here on the swing," replied the drunk.
 
Jul 12, 2005
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A rancher goes to the bank to borrow money to buy a bull so he can increase his stock. The transaction is made and the banker who lent the money comes by a week later to see how his investment is doing. The farmer complains that the bull just eats grass and won't even look at the cows. The banker suggests that a veterinarian have a look at the bull.

The next week the banker returns to see if the vet helped. The farmer looks very pleased: "The bull has taken care of all my cows, broke through the fence, and has even serviced all my neighbor's cows!"

"Wow," says the banker, "what did the vet do to that bull?"

"Just gave him some pills," replied the rancher.

"What kind of pills?" asked the banker.

"I don't know, but they sort of taste like peppermint."
 
Jul 12, 2005
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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90 percent... Wedding cake!
 
Mar 14, 2005
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I am reminded of the 93 year old man who married a 21 year old model, and went to the doctor to complain that he was having trouble making her pregnant. The doc carried out a full checkup etc, and in the end said that the only way the new wife would get pregnant was if they took in a lodger.

A couple of months later the old chap sees the doc, and proudly announces that his young wife is pregnant. "That's excellent news. How's the logdger?" says the doc.

"She's pregnant too".
 

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