Hi! - welcome to the emotional maturity hotline!.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly or just keep doing the same silly tricks on this Forum.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you (Please note in this case it does help if at least one of you is real).
If you know you have multiple personalities, press at least 3,4,5, and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will transferred to the mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. Do not worry if you have not yet picked up the phone!
If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until someone comes on the line.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone
number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.
If you have post-traumatic-stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.
If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep, or before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self esteem, please hang up as all our operators are too busy to talk to you, but in the meantime, log onto the PCV Forum and try to make out you are important. After all this seems to have helped you in the past.
This should probably go on Chit Chat but the actual "topic" is here.
I have saved it so if it needs to be deleted Moddies - no problem!
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly or just keep doing the same silly tricks on this Forum.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you (Please note in this case it does help if at least one of you is real).
If you know you have multiple personalities, press at least 3,4,5, and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will transferred to the mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. Do not worry if you have not yet picked up the phone!
If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until someone comes on the line.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone
number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.
If you have post-traumatic-stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.
If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep, or before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self esteem, please hang up as all our operators are too busy to talk to you, but in the meantime, log onto the PCV Forum and try to make out you are important. After all this seems to have helped you in the past.
This should probably go on Chit Chat but the actual "topic" is here.
I have saved it so if it needs to be deleted Moddies - no problem!
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