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I need help :O(

L

Lord Braykewynde

Help! Yesterday my mother in law won a box of Terrys All Gold Choccies at a whist drive, she said we was to share them. Well, her Ladyship put them in the pantry and unbeknown to her I kept sneeking in there and pinching one. Wellllll, it's like this, today she is at work and when she comes home and finds the box empty because I've eaten the lot of them I think she might have a hissy fit. Nay, a full blown fit and I fear for my health. I need an excuse for why they've all gone.

At the moment I'm thinking of smearing the empty box with tuna and getting the dogs to chew it, then blaming them for eating the chocolates.

If I'm not on here tonight you will know I'm in the hospital at the very least.

If I'm not on here in the morning can you please phone the police before she gets someone to help her to carry my body out into the boot of the car :O(
 
I have no sympathy for you. Your mother in law gave them to you AND YOUR WIFE as an act of kindness.

I don't want to give too much information away at this stage but I think your wife might already know about the situation. I wouldn't like to be in your shoes when she gets home.

Why don't you trot off down to the shop and buy another box?

I'm not over keen on All Gold, I prefer milk chocolate.

Lisa
 
Tell her you read a report that eating large amounts of chocolate can make your peformance in the trouser department the same as an 18 year old.

Should find she'll keep out of you way for a while :O)
 
It's an hard life being a man Lisa and as you're a female I couldn't expect you to begin to understand the predicament I was in.

I didn't really want to eat the chocolates but I ate them all thinking I would be helping my dear lady wife with her diet :O(

See how it is, we men can never win.
 
Tell her you read a report that eating large amounts of chocolate can make your peformance in the trouser department the same as an 18 year old.

Should find she'll keep out of you way for a while :O)
Click to expand...
lmaoooooo. Thanks Brian, thats a good one, better than wasting tuna on the dogs when I can eat it :O)
 
How about -

Could you not blame your butler.

-

*** out to Tesco and buy another box, the same so she never knows or a bigger and diferent to show how shamed you are by your action.

-

You were thinking of her figure and thought it better that you took on the calorie challenge.

-

A wanton mad nymphomaniac and chocoholic semi naked full of lust young beauty hammered on your front door demanding sex or chocalate to quell 1 of her wanton needs. Of course being a gent you just offered the chocolates.

-

Well dear I had to give the help the aged collector something!

-

Chocoholic mice? put a trap in the pantry!
 
Your Lordship you are a disgrace and a scoundrel no wonder you feel at home in the upper house.

Right now you should do the decent thing and get out the whip and proceed to punish yourself.
 
Well I was thinking Brians idea had the most merit but I'm now getting second thoughts. How can I eke out two days worth of Viagra, all I have left, if she expects me to prove I'm like an 18 year old.

My choccy box covered in tuna and blaming the dogs is looking the best option so far.
 
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