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Joke to take the attention off poor Lisa

G

GrahamW

Met an older woman at a bar last night. She wasn't bad for 52, we drank and talked a bit, then she asked if I'd ever had the 'sportsman's double', a mother and daughter threesome?

I said no.

We drank a bit more, then she says that tonight was my lucky night.

I went back to her place.

She put the hall light on and shouted upstairs:

(scroll down)

Keep scrolling

a little more

"Mom you still awake?"
 
Graham

Excellent!!

I think you might be receiving an email from the mods quite soon as part of your post relates to ageism which shouldn't be allowed on a family website.

Lisa xx
 
I think this post should be deleted on the grounds that it is funny.

I never asked, to be made to laugh. Having uncomfortable facial movements were never mentioned in the rules when I joined this forum.

PS Which bar did you meet Lisa in, Graham?
 
Hi all

Try this one this should not offend anyone.

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shone his flashlight around, looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, "Jesus is watching you".

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight out and froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, clicked the light back on and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, "Jesus is watching you".

Freaked out, he shone his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.

"Did you say that?", he hissed at the parrot.

"Yep", the parrot confessed, "I'm just trying to warn you."

The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who do you think you are?"

"Moses", replied the bird.

"Moses!", the burglar laughed. "What kind of stupid people would name a parrot Moses?"

"Probably the same kind of people that would name a rotweiller Jesus", the bird answered.

Regards

Les
 
Graham -

You'll have to stop doing this:

5.gif
 
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