World Cup Joke

[GrahamW]

It is just before England v Brazil at the next World Cup Group game.

Ronaldinho goes into the Brazilian changing room to find all his team mates looking a bit glum.

"What's up?" he asks.

"Well, we're having trouble getting motivated for this game. We know it's important but it's only England. They're always sh*te and we just can't be bothered".

Ronaldinho looks at them and says "Well, I reckon I can beat them by myself, you lads go down the pub."

So Ronaldinho goes out to play England all by himself and the rest of the Brazilian team go off for a few jars.

After a few pints they wonder how the game is going, so they get the landlord to put the TV on.

A big cheer goes up as the screen reads

Brazil 1 - England 0 (Ronaldinho 10 minutes).

He is beating England all by himself.

Anyway, a few more pints later and the game is forgotten until someone remembers "It must be full time now, let's see how he got on". They put the TV on again.

Result from the Stadium Brazil 1 (Ronaldinho 10 minutes) - England 1 (Beckham 89 minutes).

They can't believe it; he has single handedly got a draw against England!!

They rush back to the Stadium to congratulate Ronaldinho.

They find him in the dressing room, still in his gear, sat with his head in his hands.

He refuses to look at them. "I've let you down boys, I've let you down."

"Don't be daft; you got a draw against England, all by yourself. And they only scored at the very, very end!"

"No, No, I have, I've let you down... I got sent off after 12 minutes"

 

[Lutz]

Chin up. Things can't be as bad as all that!

 

[mcghee]

If you think that's funny, wait until Trinidad beat England 2-0...

 

[Val & Frank]

If you think that's funny, wait until Trinidad beat England 2-0...

I would be willing to bet

 

[Lord Braykewynde]

If you think that's funny, wait until Trinidad beat England 2-0...

Frank, I think you will find that as a Scot, Craigs forecast is based on wishful thinking rather than sensible judgement of a knowledge of football ;O)

 

[Lord Braykewynde]

40 degrees - Californians shiver uncontrollably.

People in Scotland sunbathe.

35 degrees - Italian cars won't start.

People in Scotland drive with the windows down.

20 degrees - Floridians wear coats, gloves, and wool hats.

People in Scotland throw on a T-shirt.

15 degrees - Californians begin to evacuate the state.

People in Scotland go swimming in the sea.

0 degrees - New York landlords turn the heat on.

People in Scotland have a last barby before it gets cold.

-10 degrees - People in Miami are extinct.

People in Scotland lick flagpoles.

-20 degrees - Californians all now live in Mexico.

People in Scotland throw on a light jacket.

-80 degrees - Polar bears begin to evacuate the Artic.

Scottish Boy Scouts postpone winter survival exercise until it gets cold enough.

-100 degrees - Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.

People in Scotland wear a vest and pull down their ear flaps.

-173 degrees - Ethyl alcohol freezes.

People in Scotland are angry 'cos they can't thaw their whisky kegs.

-297 degrees - Microbial life starts to grind to a halt.

Scottish cows complain of farmers with cold hands.

-460 degrees - ALL atomic motion stops.

People in Scotland start saying " A bit hill billy ... eh? "

-500 degrees - Hell freezes over.

Scottish people support England in the World Cup

 

[mcghee]

LB. Joking cast aside for a minute I watched England scrape through against Paraguay with an own goal, a narrow win which could easily been a 3-1 loss in the last half hour. Similarly I watched suppossed "no hopers" Trinidad hold Sweden to 0-0 admirably. If Trinidad play England with the same style as they did Sweden, and England play anything like as bad as their 2nd half against Paraguay I think my prediction may come good. I don't really grudge the England team a win if it's deserved, but before Saturday's match we were told that against a team such as Paraguay no less than a convincing win would impress. Do you think that was a convincing win?

 

[Lord Braykewynde]

Craig I think you were watching a different match. I agree England were cr*p and thats putting it mildly but as Brave Fart said in the FOOTBALL thread, no way did Paraguay look like scoring. I had to agree with him in hindsight and took comfort in the fact that if they can get 3 points from playing sh*te it couldn't be all bad. Another consolation is the teams that are expected to do well have struggled in their first matches, Brazil, Argentina, France, etc. The beauty of this game is that it produces giantkillers and hopefully it wont be England beaten by Trinidad because even England can't play that bad again. ;O)

 

[cris_408518]

Oi Lord B , that's a little unfair about Paraquay not looking like scoring.

The replay we saw showed a Paraguay player heading a great goal ;-)

If anything it was England that looked as so they couldn't score as Mr Posh's free kick was heading for the goalie until somebodey intervened ;-0

 

[Fubar]

all the big teams (France apart) have done what they need to do - start off with a win, pure and simple. 1-0? perfect. It is the Italian mentality that is now prevailing through most of the teams, especially one S.G. Eriksson.

look at Brazil - all their players play for big European teams, and they will be looking at this as a marathon, not a sprint.

perhaps for once England HAVE got it exactly right - the fans may not like it, but if they win the WC who will care??

Mark (",)

 

[Lord Braykewynde]

Craig I think you were watching a different match. I agree England were cr*p and thats putting it mildly but as Brave Fart said in the FOOTBALL thread, no way did Paraguay look like scoring. I had to agree with him in hindsight and took comfort in the fact that if they can get 3 points from playing sh*te it couldn't be all bad. Another consolation is the teams that are expected to do well have struggled in their first matches, Brazil, Argentina, France, etc. The beauty of this game is that it produces giantkillers and hopefully it wont be England beaten by Trinidad because even England can't play that bad again. ;O)

Can they?????? ummmmmmm well probably :O(

 

[Lord Braykewynde]

all the big teams (France apart) have done what they need to do - start off with a win, pure and simple. 1-0? perfect. It is the Italian mentality that is now prevailing through most of the teams, especially one S.G. Eriksson.

look at Brazil - all their players play for big European teams, and they will be looking at this as a marathon, not a sprint.

perhaps for once England HAVE got it exactly right - the fans may not like it, but if they win the WC who will care??

Mark (",)

Mark, thinking back to your dislike of Ian Wright, the person who gets on my nerves is Mick McCarthy. Listening to his knowitall voice in the commentary box does my head in :O(

 

[Lord Braykewynde]

Well we played crap again until Rooney and Lennon came on. Thats 6 points from 2 crappy games so if this continues I forecast England to win the cup :O)

 

[mcghee]

Yep. Until the subs came on I really felt my prediction might not have been so wide of the mark. I don't think Rooney actually did much of anything except give the team the confidence to play freely. I still felt Trinidad were a bit unlucky at times, but hats off to Gerard, what a strike.

 

[Lord Braykewynde]

The football they are playing isn't entertainment for me, more nerve shattering. We have the best team for years, all brilliant players individually but they aren't gelling as a team. I dont think any of them can be that pleased on how they have played collectively and Gerrard admits they have no chance on this form. I can't argue with the purists/statiticians though, played 2 - won 2, goals conceded - 0

 

[Fubar]

all the big teams (France apart) have done what they need to do - start off with a win, pure and simple. 1-0? perfect. It is the Italian mentality that is now prevailing through most of the teams, especially one S.G. Eriksson.

look at Brazil - all their players play for big European teams, and they will be looking at this as a marathon, not a sprint.

perhaps for once England HAVE got it exactly right - the fans may not like it, but if they win the WC who will care??

Mark (",)

your right, Portugal v Iran is on now, Mick McCarthy commentating and Ian Wright summarising - Aaaaaaaaarrrrrgggggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! M (",)

 

[Fubar]

I think the England/Sweden game will be very interesting to see how good they can play against better opposition. the WC is a marathon not a sprint, so barring injuries they can only get better as a team. Was pleased for Crouchy getting a goal, as I felt they crowd were getting a bit frustrated with him.

M (",)

 

[Val & Frank]

As the famous Motto goes " Who Cares Who Wins " as long as it's ENGLAND

Craig

I am still Laughing at your last prediction, You will be predicting Ross County for the European Cup next.

Frank

 

[Lord Braykewynde]

I think the England/Sweden game will be very interesting to see how good they can play against better opposition. the WC is a marathon not a sprint, so barring injuries they can only get better as a team. Was pleased for Crouchy getting a goal, as I felt they crowd were getting a bit frustrated with him.

M (",)

Hopefully now they have the points in the bag it might settle their nerves and make for more open attacking football without the stupid mistakes.

 

[mcghee]

No I wouldn't go that far Frank. My prediction for the Trinidad England game was based on what I'd seen with my own eyes, Trinidad with an excellent defense, & attacking midfield, & England with not much of anything. As I've said since the game, England started out against Trinidad as bad as ever but became a different team entirely after the substitutions, Trinidad's bugbear being the lack of a striker. I'm not an England fan but I do enjoy good football and I'd rather watch England play superbly and get beat than watch a cr*p game for 90mins and see them fly through by the seats of their pants like they have done. If they play better football than all their opponents and win the cup I'll take my overlander off to them the same as you will.

 

[mcghee]

As the famous Motto goes " Who Cares Who Wins " as long as it's ENGLAND

Craig

I am still Laughing at your last prediction, You will be predicting Ross County for the European Cup next.

Frank

I'm willing to bet you weren't laughing just before John Terry's clearance!