The huge torque that modern diesels give out, is pushing the transmissions of some cars to the limit and beyond.
I remember not that long ago VW only having a gearbox that would only handle 225 pound feet. So outputs were electronically limited.
I have no in-depth knowledge, but it stands to reason, that engine management systems if set up correctly, should prevent most failures.
But how many people do you see holding the car on the clutch at junctions etc, i allows use the hand brake, rather than abuse the clutch.
If xtrails have a DMF i have never heard of a single failure.
I don't see Auto as the answer, the cost of a auto gearbox, is very much more than a manuel.
Along with poor economy, blunted performance, the need for more frequent gear box oil changes, perhaps a oil cooler, lack of engine braking on some autos, etc.
I remember reading a road test on a vag car fitted with a DSG box that returned 5 mpg less than the manuel tested previously.
Along with having two clutches, i rely don't see the point, if you intend to tow.