GOLF - Stevie Wonder vs Tiger Woods

[Lord Braykewynde]

Stevie Wonder and Tiger Woods are in a restaurant having dinner.

Woods turns to Wonder and says, "How's the singing career going?"

Stevie Wonder replies, "Not too bad. How's the golf?" Woods replies, "Not too bad. I've had some problems with my swing, but I think I've got that going right now."

Stevie says, "I always find that when my swing goes wrong, I need to stop playing for awhile and not think about it. Then, the next time I play, it seems to be all right."

Tiger says, "You play golf?"

Wonder says, "Oh, yes, I've been playing for years."

Woods says, "But you're blind! How can you play golf if you can't see?"

Wonder replies, "I get my caddy to stand in the middle of the fairway and call to me. I listen for the sound of his voice and play the ball toward him. Then, when I get to where the ball lands, the caddy moves to the green or farther down the fairway and again I play the ball toward his voice."

"But how do you putt?" asks Woods.

"Well," says Stevie, "I get my caddy to lean down in front of the hole and call to me with his head on the ground, and I just play the ball toward his voice."

Woods asks, "What's your handicap?"

Stevie says, "Well, I'm a scratch golfer."

Woods, incredulous, says to Stevie, "We've got to play a round sometime."

Wonder replies, "Well, people don't take me seriously, so I only play for money, and never play for less than $10,000 a hole."

Woods thinks about it and says, "OK, I'm up for that. When would you like to play?"

Stevie says, "Pick a night."

 

[colin(bridgend)]

Lord B. many years ago I was a student at Bridgend College. The Construction Department within the college put a tam together and played the neighbouring Blind School at cricket - guess what - WE LOST. Now whenever someone comes out with a funny relating to visually impared people I always recite this so as to make sure that they are not as severely handicapped as one thinks. Imagine losing at cricket to a team from a blind school.

 

[Val & Frank]

Colin,

Imagine losing at cricket to a team from a blind school.

The only way I can imagine that Colin is if that team was named Glamorgan !!!!

Frank

 

[colin(bridgend)]

Glamorgan has had very good teams over the years and have had quite a few team mebers playing for England in test matches as we are part of the England and Wales Cricket Board. All teams have good years and also bad years no matter what the sport. Therefore Frank I am deeply hurt and cut to the quick with your hurtful comment regarding Glamorgan Cricket Team - where are the Scottish cricket teams I ask my self? I thought as a Scotsman you would be in support of fellow Celtic people and not having a go at them in this manner. In future if you say any further bad things about the Welsh we will rise up and will not be beaten at Hadrian's Wall but overthrow the lot of you. So there.