Overweight caravaners.

[ThePlotter]

Colin,If what Lord B says is correct and far be it for me to doubt the word of aristocracy then it would seem that my comments about the beach may have foundation after all it was you that mentioned it in the first place.As for the position with Liz I can only assume that you misunderstood my previous comments as I to would not be so discourteous to a lady.

I would agree that the hoovercrap could well be a valuable addition.LB when you receive the pictures perhaps you could post them on here if they are suitable of course.

 

[colin(bridgend)]

Lord B. and Plotter my conscence is clear - I have no skeleton to hide and as far as photos are concerned they must be of my wife and self driving from the ferry along to Corfe Castle - we did not even attempt to park at the beach let alone walk along the sands. For your information we were following a tour coach from Yorkshire as we drove along this road. Talk about paperatsis (spelling????) and stalkers.

 

[Lord Braykewynde]

Colin,If what Lord B says is correct and far be it for me to doubt the word of aristocracy then it would seem that my comments about the beach may have foundation after all it was you that mentioned it in the first place.As for the position with Liz I can only assume that you misunderstood my previous comments as I to would not be so discourteous to a lady.

I would agree that the hoovercrap could well be a valuable addition.LB when you receive the pictures perhaps you could post them on here if they are suitable of course.

With pleasure Plotter although I may have to censor them by sticking silver stars over the appropriate places.

 

[Chrissylizzie]

Sorry to have been away for a while but I was actually head-hunted. Also, in view of the considerable number of letters being dictated, it was impossible to keep up with the minutes or get any filing done, and so I felt unable to carry on with the job. I do pop into the office on a frequent basis however, and I am pleased to see that business is still afloat and has not yet gone done the pan.

 

[ThePlotter]

We wondered where you had gone as your interview went so well so were suprised by the sudden disappearance however no problem you are back now so we can start to catch up with orders so if you can can you get those 200 invoices sent out to help the cashflow.You will have seen that the hoovercrap is to come on line shortly so there will be lots of work,far from going down the pan we are still flushed with success.

 

[Chrissylizzie]

Glad to see the development of the hoovercrap is going ahead, and that the idea has not been done and dusted. If the invoices prove too much I may have to file them on a piece of string to be used in the hoovercrap as in olden days.

 

[ThePlotter]

Chrissylizzie,a word of warning can you get onto the printer who produces the invoice blamks and check that they are printed on degradable paper suitable for use with Elsan.We dont want to fall foul of the Environment Agency if the end up on a piece of string as you suggest.Oh yes and also get onto the ink cartridge people and check that the ink will not come of otherwise we could end up with people getting to see our business,well if they have eyes in their a*** that is.

 

[Chrissylizzie]

I have been onto the printers explaining that we need runproof ink on the invoices, just in case they have to be multi-functional. They were a bit surprised at the request, but they will do some tests to see if they can get to the bottom of it.

 

[ThePlotter]

Glad that you have got straight onto it however can you get back onto them and see if they can supply the invoices in a continuous run like computer paper so that they are perforated which will assist when being multifunctional.

I have checked the internet and it appears that there are specialist printers that should be able to supply us.Names such as B.O.G.Paper Ltd,B.Umwiper Ltd etc you may find others.

 

[Chrissylizzie]

I am currently dealing with a firm who are reputed to be speedy with deliveries which could be helpful. They are named D.Esperate and we can bulk buy.

 

[ThePlotter]

That sounds good however with our MD coming from Bridgend I wonder if we should support the Welsh (I mean someone has to I suppose) so perhaps the Welsh supplier Di.A. Rear might be a runner.

 

[LizCornwall]

I am back, now let me see I will have to do some reading lets see who is in trouble now. Liz

 

[ThePlotter]

Every cloud has a silver lining,more floods this time local to me and as a result I did demos of the Hoovercrap in some affected areas and many orders seem likely.Also I have interest shown by both the House of Commons and the House of Lords as they think it might be handy with all the crap that is spoken there and will reduce the working day.

 

[LizCornwall]

Hi Plotter, We were in the same boat, rain,rain and even more rain, our Porch Awning collapsed poles bent, and to top it all could not have a ciggie, because no smokaloo available, this product is in great demand. I see Colin has returned from his holiday. No doubt will have something to say later.

 

[LizCornwall]

Every cloud has a silver lining,more floods this time local to me and as a result I did demos of the Hoovercrap in some affected areas and many orders seem likely.Also I have interest shown by both the House of Commons and the House of Lords as they think it might be handy with all the crap that is spoken there and will reduce the working day.

How did you get on, Monday test. Liz

 

[ThePlotter]

Hi Liz,Colin seems to have lost interest in the business although when he posted on a different subject he referred to having trained myself,emmerson and i think yourself as his lapdogs!

My test went well you have two hours to do the whole test but i was back in my car in an hour.I got 98 out of 100 for theory and 70 out of 75 for hazard perception so easy pass,so now on to the next stage.

 

[LizCornwall]

Hi Plotter, That's Brilliant news about your test, good luck with next stage, when do you start next stage? Now Colin what's this I hear we are his lapdogs, I will give him lapdogs when he decides to appear, running scared now I think now I am back!!! Liz

 

[colin(bridgend)]

Liz I am NOT running scared of any one - as far as being a lap dog you may sit on my lap all day without any complaint from me. As far as the other two are concerned they are not so much lapdogs but more like goffas. Sorry Liz if you misunderstood Plotter's accusations yet again. I did suggest that the company should just tick over until September as there appears to be regular holiday breaks being taken by the important members of the team and the lesser able are not capable of running a successful business.

 

[LizCornwall]

Nice try Colin, but really as MD that's noway to act calling your fellow staff members "goffas", now you are saying keep Company ticking over until value staff members return, the way you are carrying on the Company will be down the pan before September, me thinks you are trying to wriggle out of something here, maybe your MD uniform to tight for you, I guess you do have a uniform!

 

[colin(bridgend)]

Liz you have surprised me - in the past I have stood firm and defended your name and reputation until I bled. Now you are stabbing me in the front (can't wait until my back is turned). I am cut to the quick. My uniform for what it is has three gold pips on each shoulder as well as the brading from shoulder to breast. As far as trying to squirm out of things I think that rather than loose money having a low staff input we shut down production with only a skeleton staff working on such things as research, security, etc. until September. My actions to the company are 100% honourable and above board.

 

[LizCornwall]

Hello Colin, I fear that you may be right, with such a low staff attendance Company to be reviewed at a later date, with no sign of Plotter,Lee,Chrissylizzie,Emmerson etc.

p.s. under the circumstances I think bronze pips more suitable on your uniform for the time being.

Liz

 

[ThePlotter]

'leave the company on tickover because valued members of staff are on leave'I am not on leave so does that mean I am not a valued member of staff!

As regards to having a skeleton staff I am ok with that given i am on a diet to be described as skeleton staff is encouraging.

I have started part 2 training,it is very difficult learning to drive properly again.In the test I will only be allowed a maximum of six minor errors,such as looking to see what gear you are in etc,I am however about to try and get the test booked and keep fingers crossed for a pass and then on to the very hard third and last part.

So to sum up I feel I am really the 'driving' force behind our business )

 

[LizCornwall]

Hi Plotter,

Me thinks you are the driving force behind this Company for sure, reliable, with your very good ideas,for the Company, keeping us all motivated.

Blimey your tests seem to be hard work, I know with your attitude you will pass with flying colours.

As you can see I took it upon myself to insist Colin should not wear gold pips, they should be bronze.

(meaning of course Gold yours, Silver mine, bronze for you know who).

I was quite interested to read on another thread, that a smokatent must be priority, as it appears we have smokers now outside with the non smokers, we cannot allow this to happen, what ever next.

 

[ThePlotter]

Not sure about Bronze for him but then I did hear that he was getting on in years so perhaps they will remind him of his past in the bronze age!

I was wondering how people who have statics get on I presume if they let them out then they become public places so smoking would not be alowed but how would they police it,however a smokannex would do the trick attached a bit like an awning for the smokers to use.

The tests are hard the third one is where the examiners pretends to be a pupil with a variety of different levels of ability and you have to teach him and he deliberatley makes mistakes.

 

[LizCornwall]

Plotter, Bronze Age Colin, lol, I was leading up to this , you took the words right out of my mouth, we could be in big trouble when he reads the last few threads, not to worry, take it like a man Colin.

Now that's a brilliant idea, see what I mean you deserve the gold.

When there were rental static's here, people were not supposed to smoke in them!! But who knew if they did, I did not enter van until they were vacated.

They do say if you give up smoking, you put on weight , in this case we will see more and more overweight caravanners. Liz