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Secrets to a Perfectly Satisfying Relationship:

S

ScouseIan

It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.

It is important that a man makes you laugh.

It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you.

It is important that a man is good in bed and loves making love to you.

But it is really important that these four men don't know each other!
 
On of my old friends, who is from Croatia maintains that a women needs three men:

One for s.x

One for shelves (DIY)

One for conversation

and reckons that you never get all three qualities in the same man! Her man is a Professor and good at two - but hopeless at the other, apparently. I don't ask which!
 
first rule is ian, get them at the schoolgates as they are ready to leave for the big world.

this then gives you the opportunity to train them in the 3 main responsibilities of their married life :

1. to cook

2. to clean

3. to have babies when we say so.
 
obviously the southern lassies are the losers here, never to get the opportunity of going through life as a wummin should, or maybes ye didny catch someones eye at the school gates.

ye have missed out in so much being denied this chance. one day it will dawn on ye that theres still so much to achieve 🙂
 
Gentlemen,you are fooling no-one.The truth of the matter is this.You are completely at the mercy of your good ladies and need to treat them with the utmost tenderness and care.Because if you don't all the services they perform for you will be withdrawn forthwith.Dont you know ALL WOMEN are born with the art of being able to make themselves indispensable to men without them ever reallising it? Just keep doing what you are doing there's good chaps xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Thursdays Child
 
obviously the southern lassies are the losers here, never to get the opportunity of going through life as a wummin should, or maybes ye didny catch someones eye at the school gates.

ye have missed out in so much being denied this chance. one day it will dawn on ye that theres still so much to achieve 🙂
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i think you are winding the ladies up Mchighlander ,shady sadies reply made me laugh ,but i shall keep quiet on this post ,if i know whats good for me , ha ha
 
Gentlemen,you are fooling no-one.The truth of the matter is this.You are completely at the mercy of your good ladies and need to treat them with the utmost tenderness and care.Because if you don't all the services they perform for you will be withdrawn forthwith.Dont you know ALL WOMEN are born with the art of being able to make themselves indispensable to men without them ever reallising it? Just keep doing what you are doing there's good chaps xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Thursdays Child
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Hi Thursday Child,

I realised this a long time back, and call mine 'boss'

Best regards,

George
 
"or maybes ye didny catch someones eye at the school gates"

I can only assume that MacH's lady had missed all those school eye and hearing tests and got trapped before the poor girl could see or hear him correctly.
 
Nah, the secret of a really peaceful and satisfying relationship can be summed up with just two words.

Yes Dear.

absolutely dominic, thats all the wummin needs to say.
 
Is this a new version 'new man' MacHighlander?

Women being allowed to speak, whatever next?

I now wonder if Mrs MacHiglander is even allowed to walk beside him these days!
 
I now wonder if Mrs MacHiglander is even allowed to walk beside him these days!

c'mon lass, keep up with the modern trends introduced to us, the wifey has to walk at least 5 paces behind us 🙂
 
Well I'm not really surprised, no doubt she also keeps your Top Hat clean and brushed to perfection and makes sure you always wear it to look your best when you go out.
 
nope, i wear my tammie, and the ginger hair cascading down my shoulders, suits ma big long beard.

btw, scots wummin dont walk behind us mrs, was referring to a new culture apparently 🙂
 
Your "Tammie"

We assumed it would have to be a Top hat to hide your sort of head.

But it's the "Tammie" so Scotsmen are obviously not as well endowed as we're lead to believe ;-)
 
I now wonder if Mrs MacHiglander is even allowed to walk beside him these days!

c'mon lass, keep up with the modern trends introduced to us, the wifey has to walk at least 5 paces behind us 🙂
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of course she likes to walk behind you , havent you heard of land mines
 
ok here is one for the guys on here

women are only good for 3 things......and most of them are no good at 2 of them and just about good enough at the last 1

well thats what my dad told me.............and now ive grown up ive found out for myself that its true

hgv dave
 
1. to cook

2. to clean

3. to have babies when we say so.

already stated their use dave 🙂
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HI! Mac H why did you change your name what was wrong with Highlander

cheers Duggie (from the Highlands you know where )

p.s. out on the old Triumph today gave it a blast to bl--dy cold didn,t go far you out on your yet
 
Mmmn, funny how the best chefs are men and that there's aways a great woman behind a good man.

When it comes to babies, men don't father babies if they not imtimate with someone other than themself!

If you've a lady partner with children MacHighlander you need a DNA test;-)
 
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