Gabsgrandad said:
Only if it was a wee wee!!! Any sign of the Woosie job, loud shout to other half.
Only if it was a wee wee!!! Any sign of the Woosie job, loud shout to other half.
Gabsgrandad said:
Hi Gabsgrandad, in my humble opinion to ensure we get further stories as the one above which is brilliant I would like to propose you for a place on our round table and to become a member of the Woosie Club, I'm sure another member will be along to 2nd you in the next few days, hope you can accep t your proposed knighthood, Good luck.
don't mind doing loos and pooey nappies but I have to have a water bottle even with the radiators on,do I qualify
Well, I'm quite underwhelmed! What a wonderful Christmas present.Dustydog said:
Tell me, does being known as Sir Emmerson outrank Lord Brakewynde? If so, then I will quite happilly accept the title.
Ah, to h*ll, I'll accept anyway!
Happy Christmas Emmerson,
As soon as you are seconded by one of the Woosies knights, dames or lady you will be most warmly welcome to our Woosie round table.
Lord Braykewynde has been most noticeable by his absence. I think he's mothballed his Bailey and is spending Christmas with her Ladyship on poo patrol with the the snautzers.
I am most confident you will be a knight before LB. I doubt he'll want a knighthood as well. We shall see.
I made a mistake yesterday . I should have referred to Stowforlot.
I hear a whisper Sir Gagakev may have got a new combine for christmas?
As soon as you are seconded by one of the Woosies knights, dames or lady you will be most warmly welcome to our Woosie round table.
Lord Braykewynde has been most noticeable by his absence. I think he's mothballed his Bailey and is spending Christmas with her Ladyship on poo patrol with the the snautzers.
I am most confident you will be a knight before LB. I doubt he'll want a knighthood as well. We shall see.
I made a mistake yesterday . I should have referred to Stowforlot.
I hear a whisper Sir Gagakev may have got a new combine for christmas?
Dilemma, oh dear what a dilemma i'm in, caused a lot of thought and insomnia this weekend, since I was proposed for the Woosie club. Now I don’t know even if I was seconded whether I could accept or not?
Why’s that you might ask? Well after thinking it through, do I suffer from the same phobia as you others. And it must be a phobia, is it “woosiphobia” and if so we shall have to get a definition for it to get in the OED.
What would be the definition? - One who has an irrational fear of bodily outgoings.
One who has a fear of things brown.
One who has a fear of splashback.
One who is in denial of human waste.
What alternative definitions are more suitable? What’s your thoughts?
Obviously there are some “Woosiphobiacs” in the organisation.
Would by being a member (If seconded) mean I was not the ‘full man’ and impaired by admitting to it.
Or perhaps I could have a special section established to help the sufferers of the “phobia”. Perhaps the WC section (WOOSIE CHARITY) perhaps in charge of funds, where we could solicit help for the members through counselling, re – education, training, even hypnotic therapy treatment, to help them overcome this phobia, there must be a cure for it.
I do have a medical solution, no not a pill, but a liquid going under the trade name of” Scotch” it does help sometimes but can exacerbate the problem by producing a bit of a “gung ho spirit” and producing a more serious splashback problem than usual.
Obviously we don’t need to get the elf and safety brigade involved, but as a first step to a cure I would suggest a uniform for the sufferers, consisting of green boots, white paper disposable overall, marigolds, hard hat, with full face visor (to guard against those dreaded ‘splashbacks’. ) So that they can be easily identified and helped when approaching that dreaded territory.
So you see the dilemma I’m in.
To be in or not to be in.
Why’s that you might ask? Well after thinking it through, do I suffer from the same phobia as you others. And it must be a phobia, is it “woosiphobia” and if so we shall have to get a definition for it to get in the OED.
What would be the definition? - One who has an irrational fear of bodily outgoings.
One who has a fear of things brown.
One who has a fear of splashback.
One who is in denial of human waste.
What alternative definitions are more suitable? What’s your thoughts?
Obviously there are some “Woosiphobiacs” in the organisation.
Would by being a member (If seconded) mean I was not the ‘full man’ and impaired by admitting to it.
Or perhaps I could have a special section established to help the sufferers of the “phobia”. Perhaps the WC section (WOOSIE CHARITY) perhaps in charge of funds, where we could solicit help for the members through counselling, re – education, training, even hypnotic therapy treatment, to help them overcome this phobia, there must be a cure for it.
I do have a medical solution, no not a pill, but a liquid going under the trade name of” Scotch” it does help sometimes but can exacerbate the problem by producing a bit of a “gung ho spirit” and producing a more serious splashback problem than usual.
Obviously we don’t need to get the elf and safety brigade involved, but as a first step to a cure I would suggest a uniform for the sufferers, consisting of green boots, white paper disposable overall, marigolds, hard hat, with full face visor (to guard against those dreaded ‘splashbacks’. ) So that they can be easily identified and helped when approaching that dreaded territory.
So you see the dilemma I’m in.
To be in or not to be in.
hi DD,Dustydog said:
if you go back a page you will see I seconded emmerson on Sat 24th of Dec 2011 @8:47pm.
hi Gabsgrandad,Gabsgrandad said:
I can understand your dilemma as I at first was unsure whether membership was right for me or not, however it became obvious after recanting over the many years of caravaning that acctually most of us are woosies at heart, at a push.
it is only when thinking about past events does it bring back that urge to to go and fill the sick bucket?
like the time I forgot to empty the cannister on site after a weekend away in the motorhome, a few weeks later noticed a strange aroma emitting from the inside of the cubicle, as there is no elsan point at home so I had to use the house bathroom with the result that her ladyship would not go in there untill after it had been sterilised with bleach and had several applications of Fabreeze, it was a toss up which was worse emptying the thing or cleaning the bathroom afterwards.
so have no doubts I am sure you are truly worthy of a place in the fold.
as for a uniform not sure how that would work properly the sight of a hoard of "Margo Leadbetter's" going to and fro from the Elsan point could frighten the Kiddies, on site.
"Sir Chunky"
Sir Chunkycolin-yorkshire said:
I am very pleased my knights are paying attention unlike me who has been using SWMBO I Pad thing.
So as King of the Woosie Round Table I graciously and feeling rather flushed welcome Sir Emmerson to our elite group whose patron for 2012 will be the infamous Sir Thomas Crapper who sadly passed away in a royal chain many bog rolls ago/
Sir Emmerson you are now one us and can look forward to enjoying many a fun moment.
You must of curse be willing to use your own on board facilities as much as possible for 1s and 2s
Sir Chunky
I am very pleased my knights are paying attention unlike me who has been using SWMBO I Pad thing.
[/quote]
Keep up King DD.
Also need a 2nd vote to allow Gabsgrandad to become a member (see my post of 24/12/11 9.44pm) the post numbers seem to
have disappeared!!!
I am very pleased my knights are paying attention unlike me who has been using SWMBO I Pad thing.
[/quote]
Keep up King DD.
Also need a 2nd vote to allow Gabsgrandad to become a member (see my post of 24/12/11 9.44pm) the post numbers seem to
have disappeared!!!
Deli Dave_ said:
Now Now Deli Dave, could'nt at first register why you needed a bottle of water to take to bed then it hit me.
It's actually a Hot water bottle you are talking about
Does this qualify you? I should say so, I mean radiators on, all nice and snug and you have a hot water bottle.
As you have the BOTTLE to admit your secret, on this basis I am putting you forward for your 1st proposal and you will be 2nd in due course,
Sir Gagakev WC (Bar)
I was time served as a S##T shoveller when i was still at school & working weekends on a local farm cleaning out the various animals, having been in the S##T numerous times, so emptying the cassette is never a problem,
One of my best memories of that era was when one of the lad's was on the tractor with the muck spreader that was full & hooked on the back, when he was taking it up the local road to spread on the fields.
When he changed gear & put the ( PTO ) power take off shaft into drive by mistake, & layed a layer of S##T 12' wide by 3/4 of a mile long, the locals who lived at the side of the road were not amused ............
& neither was the farmer when he came back & told him what had happened,
good job it was not too sloppy to shovel into the bucket of the tractor.
But the best i ever saw was when I lived half way up a slight hill in a terrace of about fifteen houses, the sewage grate in the next garden had started to leak effluent, the council sent the appropriate men out to asses the situation, they lifted the lid & it was brimming......
It was around that time that disposable nappies had taken off, & some one had tried to flush one away & it had blocked the sewer that served all of these houses.
These guys deserved a medal in they went shovelling it into buckets & tipping it it a dust bin, at every manhole down that row until they found the evidence, turned out that it was someone who had been visiting a relative & done the deed........
One of my best memories of that era was when one of the lad's was on the tractor with the muck spreader that was full & hooked on the back, when he was taking it up the local road to spread on the fields.
When he changed gear & put the ( PTO ) power take off shaft into drive by mistake, & layed a layer of S##T 12' wide by 3/4 of a mile long, the locals who lived at the side of the road were not amused ............
& neither was the farmer when he came back & told him what had happened,
good job it was not too sloppy to shovel into the bucket of the tractor.
But the best i ever saw was when I lived half way up a slight hill in a terrace of about fifteen houses, the sewage grate in the next garden had started to leak effluent, the council sent the appropriate men out to asses the situation, they lifted the lid & it was brimming......
It was around that time that disposable nappies had taken off, & some one had tried to flush one away & it had blocked the sewer that served all of these houses.
These guys deserved a medal in they went shovelling it into buckets & tipping it it a dust bin, at every manhole down that row until they found the evidence, turned out that it was someone who had been visiting a relative & done the deed........
I am most graciously honoured, everyone. As we try mainly to use CL and CS sites, we don't have much option but to use our on-board facilities, but I must admit that as Her Ladyship is somewhat disabled, she does enjoy a nice large, warm disabled facility now and then. But then, she is a townie-born wus, not like us country boys! Do I get extra brownie points for calling her that?
Gagakev said:Deli Dave_ said:
Now Now Deli Dave, could'nt at first register why you needed a bottle of water to take to bed then it hit me.
It's actually a Hot water bottle you are talking about
Does this qualify you? I should say so, I mean radiators on, all nice and snug and you have a hot water bottle.
As you have the BOTTLE to admit your secret, on this basis I am putting you forward for your 1st proposal and you will be 2nd in due course,
Sir Gagakev WC (Bar)
Not too good on the magic box ,yes hot water bottle,
All the best
Dave
Martin24 said:
Hi Martin would like to apologise for not picking this up earlier, it was missed due to the sudden influx of applications
Now you are being proposed on the grounds that you have admitted to being afraid of SPIDERS, when the ladies return
they will offer you some treatment to overcome your fear
In the mean time we will accept a 2nd proposal to accept you into the club.
in the mean time please get used to these to assist in your recovery
Good to have you on board Sir Emmerson.emmerson said:
Now I have a dilemma about your Ladyship.
I was a London born boy, edumacated in Wimbledon but for the last 35 years have lived in the Country and have no intentions of ever becoming a Townie again. I think we can forgive Lady Emmerson for making use of the warm facilities because I for one have given up taking cold showers
Deli Dave_ said:Gagakev said:Deli Dave_ said:
Now Now Deli Dave, could'nt at first register why you needed a bottle of water to take to bed then it hit me.
It's actually a Hot water bottle you are talking about
Does this qualify you? I should say so, I mean radiators on, all nice and snug and you have a hot water bottle.
As you have the BOTTLE to admit your secret, on this basis I am putting you forward for your 1st proposal and you will be 2nd in due course,
Sir Gagakev WC (Bar)
Not too good on the magic box ,yes hot water bottle,got one tonight as well.I'd have two but wifey has the other one.
All the best
Dave
A hot water bottle in the caravan with Alde central heating
Deli Dave you must be pulling our chains. I'd feel hot and flushed with a hot water water bottle.
That is real Woosie so on that note as King DD I am very happy to second you to join us Knights of the Woosie Round Table.
Hence forth you will now be known as Sir Deli Dave and like us other knights will change your signature to include "Sir" .
A warm hot water bottle welcome to you.
Oh dear, How did we miss this one? Sorry about that Gabsgrandad but thanks to our gallant Sir Gagakev WC Bar the day's been saved.Gagakev said:
Please in your own time let us know how you wish to be known and then we can officially knight you and welcome you to the Woosie Round Table.
I suppose it's no use recommending Bruce's cave site in Scotland to you Martin? Plenty of SPIDERS there to turn your hair white and bring on a sweat.Gagakev said:Martin24 said:
Hi Martin would like to apologise for not picking this up earlier, it was missed due to the sudden influx of applications
Now you are being proposed on the grounds that you have admitted to being afraid of SPIDERS, when the ladies return
they will offer you some treatment to overcome your fear
In the mean time we will accept a 2nd proposal to accept you into the club.
in the mean time please get used to these to assist in your recovery
With the power invested in me by my fellow Knights, I King DD ,gladly second you on the grounds of gross Creepy Crawley cowardice to become a knight of the Woosie Round Table. To maintain your position you must at all times remain affeared of eight legged creatures and leave them to SWMBO for disposal. No killing of SPIDERS is allowed as that is considered unlucky!
Thus I officially welcome you and henceforth you will be known as Sir Martin 24.Change your signature to this effect.
Dustydog said:Deli Dave_ said:Gagakev said:Deli Dave_ said:
Now Now Deli Dave, could'nt at first register why you needed a bottle of water to take to bed then it hit me.
It's actually a Hot water bottle you are talking about
Does this qualify you? I should say so, I mean radiators on, all nice and snug and you have a hot water bottle.
As you have the BOTTLE to admit your secret, on this basis I am putting you forward for your 1st proposal and you will be 2nd in due course,
Sir Gagakev WC (Bar)
Not too good on the magic box ,yes hot water bottle,got one tonight as well.I'd have two but wifey has the other one.
All the best
Dave
A hot water bottle in the caravan with Alde central heating
Deli Dave you must be pulling our chains. I'd feel hot and flushed with a hot water water bottle.
That is real Woosie so on that note as King DD I am very happy to second you to join us Knights of the Woosie Round Table.
Hence forth you will now be known as Sir Deli Dave and like us other knights will change your signature to include "Sir" .
A warm hot water bottle welcome to you.
I am deeply honoured
Evening all you “Woosies” and would be “Woosies”.
I have been deliberating for a day or two as whether to accept your proposal (by colin-yorkshire,) and seconded (by Gagakev), to join the round table. Cos I’m a bit like Colin and not really bothered by a lot. However I’m sure if he can tolerate the ignomy of accepting ‘fear’ then I can join him and you other “wusses” sorry Woosies, and join your esteemed brotherhood, and hope to meet some of you round “that table” one day. So with that I graciously accept your invitation to join you, and if you want to call me anything Sir Gab will do.
Seeing as we’re running a little short on woosie stories here’s one:-
A few years back in my regular rallying days, we were away on this rally among a group of friends. We had all been out for the night at a social and a few drinks had been imbibed. After the evening we all went back to our van for a coffee or “more”. Now one lady who I shall call “H” to preserve her identity. Now H found great difficulty in saying no to freeby booze (Mine) and it wasn’t long before her eyes began to roll and falling asleep. Her husband also had had a good night time sedative (he is to be called “I” ) persuaded her to go and took her back to their van.
Next morning a bit of activity round H & I’s van.
Apparently during the night “H” had been ill, sickness and diarrorhea, and the loo came in for some action, once or twice. Now “I” did not hear any of this, his whisky sedative had worked , but when he came round and needed his bathroom call, lifted the lid and there was a bowl full of “everything”. Thought just open the valve and let it go, hand on the valve only to find it was already open!! Busting for a pee what’s a man to do? (suspect hand basin came in handy). Tank full past the brim and well up into the bowl, only way round the problem was to start ladelling it out with a mug and into the washing up bowl. Not a job for a woosie. Now I can tell most of you are blaming “H” but it turned out that the tank was fairly full before they went out to the social, but he decided to risk it and not empty it, as they were to be out all evening. And not expected the deluge during the night.
This was the weekend when the term “bunged up with diarrorhea” was coined.
And the moral is - empty the loo before somebody is desperate, cos then it’s too late, you never Know what’s coming!!
I have been deliberating for a day or two as whether to accept your proposal (by colin-yorkshire,) and seconded (by Gagakev), to join the round table. Cos I’m a bit like Colin and not really bothered by a lot. However I’m sure if he can tolerate the ignomy of accepting ‘fear’ then I can join him and you other “wusses” sorry Woosies, and join your esteemed brotherhood, and hope to meet some of you round “that table” one day. So with that I graciously accept your invitation to join you, and if you want to call me anything Sir Gab will do.
Seeing as we’re running a little short on woosie stories here’s one:-
A few years back in my regular rallying days, we were away on this rally among a group of friends. We had all been out for the night at a social and a few drinks had been imbibed. After the evening we all went back to our van for a coffee or “more”. Now one lady who I shall call “H” to preserve her identity. Now H found great difficulty in saying no to freeby booze (Mine) and it wasn’t long before her eyes began to roll and falling asleep. Her husband also had had a good night time sedative (he is to be called “I” ) persuaded her to go and took her back to their van.
Next morning a bit of activity round H & I’s van.
Apparently during the night “H” had been ill, sickness and diarrorhea, and the loo came in for some action, once or twice. Now “I” did not hear any of this, his whisky sedative had worked , but when he came round and needed his bathroom call, lifted the lid and there was a bowl full of “everything”. Thought just open the valve and let it go, hand on the valve only to find it was already open!! Busting for a pee what’s a man to do? (suspect hand basin came in handy). Tank full past the brim and well up into the bowl, only way round the problem was to start ladelling it out with a mug and into the washing up bowl. Not a job for a woosie. Now I can tell most of you are blaming “H” but it turned out that the tank was fairly full before they went out to the social, but he decided to risk it and not empty it, as they were to be out all evening. And not expected the deluge during the night.
This was the weekend when the term “bunged up with diarrorhea” was coined.
And the moral is - empty the loo before somebody is desperate, cos then it’s too late, you never Know what’s coming!!
Wellcome to the fold Sir Gab,
I must say a story like that even makes me feel woosie a ladle and a bowl eh' "COOL"
still at least he did not try to "SYPHON IT OUT"
SIR Chunky"
I must say a story like that even makes me feel woosie a ladle and a bowl eh' "COOL"
still at least he did not try to "SYPHON IT OUT"
SIR Chunky"
Facebook
Twitter