One liners, Humour

[Beachball]

I"m am not saying your perfume is to strong. I"m just saying the canary was alive before you got here.

 

[Beachball]

Doc, I can"t stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home. He said that sounds like Tom Jones syndrome is it common i asked it not unusual" he replied

 

[otherclive]

Doc, I can"t stop singing T

That ones passed me by.

 

[Sam Vimes]

That ones passed me by.

Not Unusual is a Tom Jones song.

 

[otherclive]

Not Unusual is a Tom Jones song.

It helps if the full joke is posted not just five words and the letter “T”. 😂

 

[Beachball]

The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you"re signing someone"s cast.

 

[Hutch]

Cheesy joke #1 from This years Cheese Advent Calendar.

What did the Cheese say when it looked in the mirror.
Well Hallu-mi

 

[Hutch]

Cheesy joke #2
When the cheese painted his wife, how did he do it?
He Double Glossed her.

 

[Challenger]

 

[Beachball]

I accidentally handed my wife a glue stick instead of chapstick She still isn"t talking to me.

 

[Sam Vimes]

View attachment 5956

I bet they charge extra for that on Ryanair.

 

[Hutch]

#3 cheesy joke.
Today's Cheesy weather report,
Rain with a light Bries

 

[Challenger]

 

[Challenger]

 

[Challenger]

 

[Challenger]

 

[Beachball]

Doctor, there"s a patient on line one that says he"s invisible". Well, tell him I can"t see him right now,"

 

[Sam Vimes]

View attachment 5964

The Scots will fry anything.

 

[Hutch]

The Scots will fry anything.

I miss a Haggis supper on the way home from the pub.

 

[Hutch]

What sort of photos do Santa's little helpers take. ?
Elfies.

What do Santa's little helpers learn at school, ?
The Elfabet.

 

[Beachball]

Why are elevator jokes so good ? They work on so many levels .

 

[Sam Vimes]

I miss a Haggis supper on the way home from the pub.

Just as well you missed it. They're a devil to clean off the windscreen.

 

[Jcloughie]

On a cruise, a sailor is looking over the ocean and spots sharks. He says to the lady passenger. “We don’t want to go in here, they are man-eating sharks”.

“Oh!”, she replies, “Do the eat the whole of you”.

“I think they spit that bit out”. Says he.

John

 

[Challenger]

 

[Jcloughie]

Johm